Experimental hodgepodge

So being a horse person seems to be 90% stuff like standing in the stall trying to telepathically Enter The Consciousness of the Horse to try to unlock why the horse is fucking scared shitless of mops

@osedaxworm yeah i think the "why" comes into play when they're trying to figure out what the common thread is in the set of related things that make the horse freak out

I acquired an abused and neglected horse a few months ago. She spent the earlier days of our interactions trying to bite me, kick me, run me over, and buck me off through any means necessary. I empathized with her. I was very gentle with her and showed her that I didn't plan on bringing her any additional harm. She started letting me introduce her to people, and she even started letting the vets I brought in help her instead of trying to fight them.

A couple of weeks ago, I asked her to jump over a scary obstacle for the first time. She was really uncertain and kept checking in to make sure I thought it was fine, and when she realized that I was sure, she did the horse equivalent of saying, "well, okay, we can give it a shot since it seems like you really want to". Lately when she's unsure if something is okay, or when she doesn't want to do something, she's taken to simply stopping instead of bucking. I think she's trying to take care of me. We still need to get through the stopping problem, but I'm beyond grateful to her for trying to keep me safe even when she's feeling strong emotions.

The past few days, she's spent a lot of time licking me from head to toe. Not even just my skin, but my clothes, too. This wouldn't be super significant, except that I have a dissociative disorder, and I've been in and out for the past few days. It seems like she's trying to keep me here.

If you try to understand the horses, they try to understand you. They're truly unlike any other kind of animal I've worked with in how deeply they try to understand their people.

I can sit outside on the ground in my field with my horses, and if I'm feeling happy and relaxed, they think, "Oh, our human is resting here. We will stand vigil." And one will position themself over me. Others will stand watch. And the great thing is, if you take up the position of standing vigil among horses that trust you, they'll say, "My human is here watching over me. I can rest now too." And having a horse trust you enough to lie prone on the ground and sleep is a wonderful feeling.

Alternatively, they pick up when things are wrong too. If I am scared, you can believe they will be wary, which is why it's so unbelievably important to work through fear rather than expressing it uncontrolled when you're around a horse. They will respond how you do. They also can tell if I'm upset. Going back to the situation where I go out and sit in the field. I've done that a couple times while deeply upset. The horses that aren't mine, that I don't share as close of a bond with, are a little unnerved by it. They investigate, but ultimately are more worried. However, the horses that I do have a bond with have seen me and thought, "There's something wrong with my human. They're upset about something. I might be able to help." Now, their version of helping is standing over me, chewing on my hair, pulling on my shoelaces, and chasing off other horses who try to investigate, but those are behaviors that tie back into me being part of their herd. Grooming, play, and protection. And again, getting a bond like that isn't easy, but it is so worth it.

I’ve never in my life seen or been taught sentence structure like this. It seems incredibly interesting, though. Do any of my followers know anything about this or were taught this?

(Source: satrayreads on threads)

First, I do genuinely think it's a useful skill, for English language learning specifically (can't speak to other languages), given our rules are kinda...wibbly? A lot of my students, both native speakers and ESL kids, make the same common mistakes (like mistaking a verb in a clause for the main predicate, or the direct object for the subject, or writing a phrase as a complete sentence) and having them slow down and diagram stuff like this really helps. This is super useful when they move into more complex sentence structures and unorthodox ordering. "Will looked at the snow over the balcony." and "Over the balcony, Will looked at the snow." share an identical diagram. Where is Will looking? Over the balcony. Just because 'the balcony' is the first noun in the sentence does not make it the subject. You'd be surprised how much of a shocker this is to some kids.

Second, sorry if defining all the terms seems a bit pedantic, I figured if you're anything like me you dumbed this knowledge straight out of highschool, if you had it at all.

ok so, the most basic english sentence diagram is literally just this:

We call this a Sentence Skeleton and it is the minimum requirement for a complete sentence. ...Ok technically what you actually need is the Subject (main noun) and the Predicate (main verb phrase), there are often more non-subject nouns and non-subject predicate verbs, but it's just simpler to start this way. All complete sentences have complete sentence skeletons, no matter how complicated or simple, but if one of these two is missing, something's gone wrong. "Sue left." is a complete sentence, and the correct skeleton for this example. "Left school" is not a complete sentence either (the noun there is not the subject noun, 'school left' is not the sentence we're writing). "Sue had forgotten (her latin book)" is ALSO not the correct skeleton, despite having both a subject noun and a verb phrase, because 'had forgotten' is not the subject predicate.

what about all the other stuff??

right ok. the easiest way to tell where everything else goes in a diagram is just to ask how those words relate to the sentence skeleton. Lets take our full example:

Sue left school early because she felt sick, but her mother brought her back because she had forgotten her latin book.

Yikes ok! Here's a chart, and I'll explain why things go where.

A noun being acted upon by a verb is called a Direct Object. They go on the same straight line as the main sentence skeleton, and are placed after the verb. Where did Sue leave? Sue left School. (Indirect objects gooooo Elsewhere! Under the verb! we don't have one here)

Is 'school' early? No, she left early. Early, an Adverb is describing the verb (as adverbs do) so it goes on a diagonal line below the verb it is associated with. Adjectives, the ones that describe nouns, are diagrammed in the exact same way, just under their appropriate noun word instead. Articles like 'the' are diagrammed basically identical to adjectives.

Because! Oh joy, a clause. Now we can really get into it. So, this is now what we call a Complex Sentence because we have both a main, Independent Clause (sue left (early) school) and what we call a Subordinate Clause. Subordinate Clauses can not act as full sentences on their own. "She felt sick"? Full sentence, independent clause. "Because she felt sick"? NOT a full sentence. If it has one of them clause words in front of it, it's a Subordinate Clause, so it gets stuck under the main sentence line. Now, "Because" is a little funky, it's what we call a Subordinate Conjunction, meaning it's a lil like a conjunction where we're connecting two complete independent clauses, but instead of making them equal, it makes the connected sentence a subordinate clause. This is a little different from the more common under-the-sentence phrase work I'd usually start students with which involves the more flexible prepositions, which connect phrases which do NOT have to be full Independent Clauses. (in the sentence "Sue, who ate lunch, left school." "ate lunch" is not an Independent Clause because, would you look at that, we can't complete a sentence skeleton! It only has a verb and the Direct Object. "Who" is a preposition attached to 'Sue,' so it would go under her on a solid line. ok. ANYWAY) Subordinate Conjunctions = dotted diagonal line. Prepositions = solid diagonal line (because they are not full skeletons on their own). And then those lines go right down to whatever phrase they've got which is diagrammed accordingly. They've done a disservice by connecting these dotted lines to the middle of the phrases all sloppy like but here's a cleaner version

Subordinate Clauses and Phrases are connected to the main sentence structure under whatever word they're attached to just like our adjectives/adverbs. (In fact, if you noticed Prepositional phrases are diagrammed similar to adjectives/adverbs, you're correct! they're both expanding on a word or phrase in the main clause, just, one is a full phrase and the other is a word. 'John, who is green, writes books.' and 'Green John writes books' tells us the same extra thing about John (he's green), so that information is diagrammed in the same place (under John with a solid line). one just has some extra steps if that makes sense. And it's worth pointing out that if "Green John" was a proper noun both words would go up in the Subject spot. In this case it's being used as an adjective tho. I'm digressing again.)

ok alright. Because she felt si- what is THAT.

alright don't freak out. Sometimes the noun connected to the skeleton after the verb is NOT a Direct Object. What??? Yeah I know. Backslashes are for Predicate Adjectives which is panic inducing till you realize they're literally what they say on the tin: an adjective. In the Predicate. Wow. A Direct Object is something that is being acted upon by a transitive verb, a verb that is doing something. Sue left (transitive), so the place she left, 'school,' is a noun that is not describing Sue or her leaving (crucial). Certain verbs, called Linking Verbs, do not have Direct Objects and instead link (aha) the adjective, as a part of the Predicate clause, back to the subject. We use a backslash to indicate that, instead of having a DO and being a Separate Thing, our Predicate Adjective is reaching over the verb and back towards the subject.

BUT!!! A proper Conjunction??? From the Junction??? Wow a celebrity! Ok, did a little research and apparently the under-the-first-clause diagramming is an accepted strategy nowadays, but when I was a tyke, the idea was a conjunction combines two complete, equal sentences. This makes the sentence a Compound Sentence (there's two (or more) of them!) and they were diagrammed as such.

So the rest of this is pretty self explanatory. This is a Compound Complex Sentence, with two complete sentences and one 'because' subclause each. Note the 'had forgotten' is the full predicate of that last phrase, helper verbs get to sit pretty with their main partners, so they're in the same spot. Also note, despite being connected in front of the first 'because' phrase, I know the original sentence was 'Sue left school early because she felt sick, but her mother brought her back because she had forgotten her Latin book" and not, perhaps "Sue left school early, but her mother brought her back because she had forgotten her Latin book because she felt sick." because... 1 girl ur successive becauses. obviously. and more importantly 2!! that first because clause is attached to the First Sentence, not the second one. Attaching it to the second full sentence changes the meaning (she forgot her book because she was sick, now. that was not implied before even if it's a reasonable assumption!) and it would, obviously, be diagrammed differently. (this kind of split between the two complete sentences would be easier to see if the 'but' and second sentence was diagrammed out straight to the right, the way I was taught, but oh well.)

ok one more thing. I do want to say this diagram misses my absolute favorite bit of diagramming which is conjunctions between subjects or predicates.

So sometimes we combine two sentences and we notice we can be more efficient about it. Lets say. Sam hunted. and Dean hunted. It is grammatically correct to say "Sam hunted and Dean hunted." (two independent clauses combined by a conjunction) buuuut that's a little clunky. They're both hunting! So we say ok fine. We can say "Sam and Dean hunted." wooooah! neat! But how does that work on the diagram? do we have to separate it out again? NO. We get a ✨SPACESHIP✨

^ thing that actually made me do my english exercises when i was 10 (explosions and astronaut doodles not included)

And you can have as many lines in the space ship, or as many space ships, as you need. "Sam, Dean, and Cas hunted." (spaceship gets three lines) "Sam, Dean, and Cas hunted and ate pie." (spaceship has three lines and connects to ANOTHER SPACESHIP which has two predicates) so on and so forth. Any phrases connected to particular subject would be diagrammed under the subject. "Sam and his older brother Dean hunted." 'his older brother' would all be diagrammed as appropriate under Dean's line specifically, they are not describing Sam!

Listen all I'm saying is, all those posts about English grammar being bs? Wouldn't you like a map?

When you're in the phase you're in now, you have all the "omg my writing is garbage" thoughts, but those are not true. Your writing is the same as it was last week. However, your ability to see it and analyze it is getting better -- and that keener perception is why it SEEMS to be worse. It isn't, I swear.

When it's the other way around and your execution is in a growth stage and your perception is on a plateau stage, that's when you have all your "omg I'm a supergenius? Omg *I* wrote that? fuck yeah im a god of writing" moments (and if you haven't had them yet, that's ok, they'll come, be patient with yourself).

Either way, this is a normal part of the growth process. It's like the ache of sore muscles after you've gone to the gym for the first time in a while, that's all. Your muscles will hurt less as you get stronger, and then you'll add more weight or more reps to your exercise routine, and you'll be sore again until your body catches up. It's just that when that's happening in your brain, it's a lot harder to set the "muscle ache" aside, because your brain's only way of expressing discomfort is to gnaw miserably on itself and make you have sad thoughts. Prescription: Have a cup of tea or whatever small treat you like best, and be gentle and patient with yourself. It's gonna be ok. Try to consciously notice and appreciate some of the things you've measurably gotten better at and give yourself a deliberate, intentional, conscious pat on the back for it. (I have ADHD, so my brain doesn't want to give me the reward chemicals automatically; I have to trigger it manually by saying aloud "I'm really proud that I accomplished this." YMMV.)

SECOND POSSIBLE DIAGNOSIS: This one also happens to me all the time. Oftentimes when I have the "my writing is getting worse" feeling, it is a signal from my subconscious that the story is going in the wrong direction -- that is, a direction which doesn't satisfying to me, or that I'm not interested in, or that leads the characters in a direction that I don't like, or that leaves a glaring plot hole that I haven't noticed consciously yet... All manner of small, fixable problems. This usually happens after I have ignored the earlier warning signs, which start with feeling a bit bored of the story but trying to push through, and then go to a vague dissatisfaction that I ignore. The end result of this is frequently outright burnout or writer's block, so the better you get at noticing those early warning signs, the faster you can address them and nip the problems in the bud. Problem is, being able to do this and use your feelings as a useful tool to flag burgeoning story problems only comes with practice. Prescription: Do the practice. When you start having those fidgety, restless feelings, try to notice what you're feeling before it gets to the "this is garbage and I hate it" stage, and then sit with that feeling. Instead of flinching away from it and hiding from the scary feeling, turn towards it with compassion and curiosity. Ask it questions like, "Hmmm, what SPECIFICALLY is garbage about it? What would make it more fun and appealing? Is there anything I'm missing here?" Your brain may initially try to continue the tantrum of "No, it's bad, it's just all bad, there's nothing good about this, it's horrible, and therefore I'M horrible" but you're gonna need to address this with all the kindness and patience that you would give a cranky toddler. Let it wriggle and cry, and just continue being curious and trying to get it to use its words to express what the problem is. Eventually you'll stumble on SOME kind of answer, and then YAY THAT IS A THING THAT CAN BE FIXED. Oftentimes when it happens to me, I have a reaction that's sort of like, "Oh! Duh! I forgot [XYZ thing]! That was a silly mistake, haha, no wonder I'm grumpy about it. Glad i noticed it now." The answers you stumble on might be things like, "I don't like mystery novels but I seem to be accidentally leading myself into writing one, whoops" or "It is so out of character for this person to be reacting that way, I need to rewrite this scene" or "I'm feeling bored, I would have put the book down by now if I were a reader; how can I jazz it up?" THIRD POSSIBLE DIAGNOSIS: (kind of a really specific subset of the Second Possible Diagnosis, but it is SO COMMON for both experienced writers and apprentice writers that it gets its own section) Your book might be having problems with tension.

Tension issues account for 99% of all book problems. It's like sewing machines?? You know how all sewing machines have the devil in them, and if you try to sew and your thread gets tangled and fucked up on the bottom, that's because the tension has gone weird, so you have to try rethreading the machine and wiggling the tension knob a bit to make it stop? Like that.

Prescription: If you are having the "this shit sucks" reaction, stop immediately and check your story tension. Are there stakes? Do they MATTER DEEPLY to the protagonist? Can they be raised? Can they be endangered? Does a new problem need to be introduced, or an existing one made worse? TENSION TENSION TENSION TENSION. There are a thousand ways of raising tension, and I cannot list them all here. When my tension is right, I almost never have the "this sucks" reaction, because I am in that document doing my job with ruthless efficiency. The SECOND it goes wonky, I have a crisis of confidence and a small tantrum and I sink into my Desponds. Every single time. It has gotten to the point where I have trained my closest friends to say, when I slide into their DMs to complain about my book: "Oh, this part. Past!Alex told us to give you a message. [checks notes] Message reads, 'bitch, is it a tension problem'" whereupon I subside, chastened, and say, "....yeah probably."

CHECK YOUR TENSION, IT IS PROBABLY FUCKED UP. How do I know? Bc tension wants very badly to fuck itself up if you're not keeping an eye on it. Same as sewing machines having the devil in them.

Threepio: *full-on gibbering breakdown*

Artoo: *unfazed beeping*

Threepio, cutting off mid gibbering breakdown: you knew?

Artoo: *continued beeping*

Threepio: what do you mean, you were there?

Luke: wait what

Artoo, rolling away to go do droid things:

Luke: Artoo get back here right now

Artoo: *innocent whistling*

Leia: no it doesn't

Luke: no no I think he's right

Luke: from a certain point of view anyway

Threepio: your highness, I'd just like to say that I'd be honoured to be your sibling

Leia: Threepio, you're being ridiculous

Han: hey!!

Not only was I not freezing anymore, I was not sweating and overheating either. The horrible sensory nightmare of winter clothes disappeared.

In particular, I bought a pair of wool pants. They were a thrifted pair of fancy dress pants like you would wear at an important office job, and they were easily the most comfortable pair of winter-appropriate pants i'd ever worn. I wore them Every Single Day.

From that point on I realized a lot of my clothes were making me feel bad, and the common thread was polyester. Especially polyester blends.

It's a trap because the polyester clothes are the ones that always feel sooooo silky soft when they are in the store, whereas cotton, linen and wool can feel comparatively rough and scratchy. But when actually wearing them for hours throughout the day, it's the natural fibers that feel more comfortable.

Maybe the secret to sensory comfort is not about the presence of softness, but the absence of overloading sensations. Or maybe the sensory stress and agony is not triggered by texture of the fabric, but by how it breathes and regulates temperature.

Then there's the problem of clothing life span: polyester blends, no matter how soft they seem at first, become rough and scratchy and covered in hard, itchy pills after wearing them 10 or 20 times, whether or not they have been tumble-dried or even washed at all. (I tested it!) Linen and cotton become softer and more comfy the more you wear them, polyester but ESPECIALLY polyester blends become a constant stressor. Polyester blend t-shirts I used to love for their softness now feel bristly and irritating.

Alpaca- my all time favorite. It is both warmer and lighter than wool, and if you have allergic reactions to wool, as I do, this is a great substitute. Alpaca socks are so great.

Cotton- the common fabric. Good for shirts, underthings, socks, pants, you name it. Good at wicking moisture and letting skin breathe, but can also be woven into warmer items such as sweaters. Good all around fabric. Can be strong and used for heavy duty clothing as well as delicate clothes.

Linen- the original warm weather fabric. The more it is washed, the softer it gets. Fabulous in the heat. Use it for bed sheets in the summer and you will never be hot in bed again. It can be used to make shirts, pants, shorts, and underthings.

Silk- great for warm and cool weather. Cool in the heat, warm in the cold, and beautiful no matter what. Can be made as a washable fabric, but usually hand wash or dry clean. Will wear like iron. If you treat it right, you can have silk for 20 years or more. Gloves, socks, underthings, shirts, pants, dresses, jackets, you name it.

Hemp- less well known but a great fabric. Resists mold like you would not believe! Used to make sails for sailing ships, as well as ropes during the age of sail. It was stronger than cotton when wet and would last longer due to the no molding thing. Less water intensive to grow than cotton, with many of the same properties of both linen and cotton. Can be used to make bed sheets, bath towels, shirts, underthings, pants, socks, pretty much anything.

Cashmere- Super luxurious! It is the shed hair of the Cashmere and pashmina goats. Usually made into sweaters, scarves, hats, gloves , and shawls. Super warm and soft. Hand wash or dry clean.

Angora- Also super luxurious. The shed fur of the angora rabbit. Can be used to make sweaters, hats, gloves, shawls, socks, and shawls. Warm, soft, and fluffy.

Mohair- The fur/hair from angora or mohair goats. Used to make sweaters, socks, gloves, hats, scarves, and shawls. Soft and warm.

There are also natural blends. These include (but are not limited to, and are not a complete list): cotton/wool, cotton/linen, cotton/silk, linen/silk, wool/silk, alpaca/wool, cashmere/wool, mohair/wool, etc.

Other natural fibers can include camel, yak, and other animal hair that is shed or clipped and then spun into yarn. Some are more available in certain areas of the world than others. I did not include bamboo due to the massive amount of chemical processing that it takes to extract the fibers. I also did not include lotus silk, byssus silk (sea silk), or any other experimental animal silk (such as the golden orb weaver spider silk) that has been made/created.

Natural fibers cost more to harvest, process, spin, and weave. They can be more difficult to color evenly, because like any natural material they have flaws and variations. This makes them more expensive to work with, which makes the clothing more expensive to produce and sell. But the items produced will last longer (theoretically), will feel better against the skin, and will be better for you in the long run for both you and the planet than clothing yourself in plastic. Microplastics will rub off on your skin, washing away in the washing machines and getting into the water supply. As the fabrics break down, they will become not only rougher against the skin, but also more difficult to mend and patch, limiting their wear life. But because they are plastics, they won't decompose and break down, continuing to pollute the environment unless they can be recycled.

Natural fabrics, in comparison, will become softer over time. They can be repaired more easily as they get holes or tears because the fabric will not have pieces break off like plastic will. It can be easily recycled, and will eventually decompose (which is why archaeologists rarely find clothing and textiles at dig sites), causing little to no damage to the environment. Rarely will a person be allergic to a natural fabric (WOOL! Argh!!!), and when they are, there is usually a protein, emollient, or fabric composition which can be a factor and can (usually) be mitigated, unlike with a synthetic fiber.

Don't get me wrong, synthetic fibers have their place and they have become very useful for certain things. But, we live in a time of fast fashion and high consumerism fueled by synthetic fabrics and exploited labor. Being conscientious of what your clothing is made of, what natural fabrics can do, how long they can last, and why and when you should wear them is a good way to start cutting down on waste while helping your body feel better. And you may find that by limiting the amount of synthetic materials you put on or near your body, that certain things might start to clear up (acne, rashes, etc.).