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beetustheyeetus

John’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, call my son.

Sam’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, call my brother.

Dean’s voicemail: If this is an emergency, leave a message or try my other phone.

Bro is his own emergency contact on top of being everyone else’s I’m going to throw myself under a jet ski

samsrowena

dean staring longingly at crowley while sam is telling him they don't need him anymore and they can kill him now. yeah good luck with that buddy

samsrowena

seriously look at him. he literally doesn't want to kill him. he CAN'T kill him. i feel ill

godstiel

sincerelystranger

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thememedaddy

mywaysthehighway

this could not hit harder if it tried

narutwitter

biblicallyaccuratecowboy

very dear to me that “I don’t understand that reference” happens after dean has already made many many references that cas didn’t get. like it’s been a year and a half since cas pulled him out of hell. he said absolutely nothing at thelma & louise, ninja turtles, bert & ernie, etc, but then dean calling him the delorian is his breaking point I guess where he had to quit playing along and just go. dean. please. what the fuck are you saying

beybuniki

metatron should have lived to see cas baby trap dean with a nephilim he would have invented new enochian homophobia just for this situation

aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

recycled-soul-deactivated201401

This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.

riskpig

WHAT?

endangeredslug-deactivated20170

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

riskpig

WHAT?????

thegrimmlovely

Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

willowofthehearth

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

mayothefirst

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook

eattherich73

Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.

smooththegoofyshark

WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL

jehovahhthickness

This is very true lol

bundibird

Yo what the f u c k

safifonhasstrel

archangeltwins

not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????

thesaltofcarthage

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.

midnight-spectrum-again

What the fuck

gotterhag

panomoly

i-

….thank you tumblr??

stankpasta

hm.

krystal-prisms

I legit thought this was a shitpost until I saw the rest of the comments

soulvomit

I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, too.

wordsaremylife

Well I never

digital-magus

As a general rule of thumb, do not push air into any bodily orifice, regardless of gender. It never ends well. Air compressors and the human body do NOT mix.

Not even the mouth, shit can rupture a lung.

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1rakus

blunt rotation?

i'll do it.

i'll kill myself.

i'll kill everyone in the room and then myself.

Voting ended onNov 24, 2023

1rakus

the results are shocking

1rakus

open and polite lesbianism is absolutely the single thing that would save you here. congratulations

pleasemayiiplease

transfemmbeatrice

kosmogrl

Hey man ur kinda going thru it all the time are u ok?

no but thanks for asking

frailbug

alaric-visi

Mom: you can't listen to just the Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius Official Soundtrack CD on loop for a week straight!

Me: Power Word: Migraine

cafffine

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

wizardshark

In the year 1450 a priest rolls over and slams his hand into his candle, burning him and sending wax flying all over the place

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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socialmaya

dalenthas

I love that this joke works in English even though it's not written in English.

monkeyislandtwo

what kind of example sentence is this

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