Post-modern Simulacra

watching youtube in the 18th century: goddddddd could you skip through the 20 minutes of thanks for your ~most gracious patron her grace the duchess of D--shire, a new maecenas & the loveliest of ladies~ and get to your handel tier listing

We have so little time

let's waste as much of it as we can while we still can

they are poisoning us today with a thursday poison little do they know we’ve been through a few thursday poisonings so it won’t kill us just yet

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

eyes emoji was the perfect invention for nosy people. like 👀 whats going on over here 👀👀 i just wanna know #LetMeKnow 👀👀👀

I have GOT to stop spending $30

There was a movie called Juno and the songs featured on that movie were compiled into an official soundtrack. This is generally regarded as major historical event from the 2000’s.

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

unfortunately the english were incapable of making it greenwich nicies time

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

new report finds that over 30% of uranium in nuclear power plants is lost via engineers having a little bite when they think nobody's watching

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!