BEEP BOOP I AM A ROBOT

Poldine ♪

Poldine 🎵

Poldine, Poldiiine 🎶

I’m begging of you please don’t take my cat ♪

Please don’t take her just because you can ♫

She talks about you in her sleep—

There’s nothing I can do to keep ♪ From crying when she calls, Poldine,

And I can easily understand How you could easily take my cat ♫

You could have your choice of cats 🎶

Poldine, Poldine ♫ Poldine, Poldiiine I’m begging of you please don’t take my cat ♫

Your husky isn’t “hyperactive”, it’s bred to pull sleds for 8 hours straight and you have it in a 400 sq ft yard.

Your English sheepdog isn’t “pushy”, it’s bred to herd sheep, and you have neither to space nor the herd to allow it.

Your terrier isn’t “nippy”, it’s bred to kill rats and your hamster looks a hell of a lot like one.

Your Catahoula isn’t “mean to animals”, it’s bred to hunt any and all animals smaller than it, and you didn’t acclimate it to your cat.

Your Lhasa Apso isn’t “yappy”, it’s bred to bark at any tiny noise and alert watchmen to intruders

Then I got a rabbit. Hestia is in love with the rabbit. He is her tiny indoor sheep. She considers this the best of all possible worlds: inside, with people, with a charge to guard.

There are so many Pyrs and other LGDs that people get frustrated with because they bark, because they get anxious without a territory to guard, because they, ya know, act like an LGD. They are fabulous dogs, but they are not easy, if you cannot provide them with their job.

Haruka Kawakami

this staged affection, a mix of theatricality and intimacy, the couple holding still for a couple of moments and now immortalised in a very set sequence of embraces and kisses. there is a charm to it even when I can’t tell whether this was a genuine couple portait or just actors hired by the photographer.

let us start with the kiss on the cheek (eyes averted! oh the pose! these were taken between 1910-1940)

or the nearly opposite energy (how daring!) of the kiss or caress with direct eye contact (1910-1930)

and then the innocent – yet so flirty – classic of the park encounter! (1890-1920)

and oh, I am not done, look at this – the adoration of the woman! look at this expression, this pose, this decorum! (1910-1940)

and then some of my favourites from the more playful or direct category, enjoy (1910-1930):