🍉 melon

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?

Referring to someone as your “partner” sounds as if you are deliberately obscuring their gender and may subtly out you. “My ex”, however, is entirely unobtrusively gender-neutral. #breakupallrelationships

small town diner waitress voice: Omelas? Oh, oh no, easy mistake, you're in oh - MAY - las right now, with an A. Plenty' people get the name mixed up. Nope, no utopia here, just our small little town. *face gets really grim* We do still.. Okay well we do still have a kid that we... I mean it isn't working but- well- You know. It- It's fine. I'm sure it'll start working soon.

my teeth were perfectly designed to tear abd rend the soft white flesh of the gentle beast known as the mozzarella

we've really had enough of imagining sisyphus happy. imagine him confused. imagine him arrogant. imagine him with cat ears.

guy who is burnt out beyond recognition and can barely get through the workday just to collapse into bed when he gets home voice: I have got to make art again. it will heal me

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app