megalowkeylee

every time i look at the mystery gang i have this like visceral feeling that someone is missing. but nobody ever is. who are they. what happened to them

s͡҉͚͓͚͇̱̫͙́c̴̱̥̪̘̮̀r̸̵̨̺̝̹͈̗̠̬̟͉̹̬͇͖͙͕͎̜͉á̦͎͉̫̗͔̝̲͔͢͢͞p̶̢̭͍͈͍̻͇̬͓̮̙͉̪̻̰͉̪̻̗͡p̸̴̸̢̰̪̥͍̩̦̱̱̦͓͙͇͎̤͕̳y̧̠̟̟̟̤̗̲͚̙̪̮̺̱̯͔̱̗͘͠ ̷̥͉̰͔̩̤̯͕̲̩̦̝̦̬̙̲̜̣̥́͝d͏̧͝͏̰͓̜ͅo͕̣͎͚̫̟͎̕ò̴̥̦͙̟̹̦̣͙͇̞͖̘̺͙͜

If your English teacher doesn’t know that you are gay and/or a commie after you write an essay, are you even writing an essay

Oh, I’ve had that one. Go with “yes.” Don’t give them a number, just say “Yes.” Then they still have to offer a number and you can deny it without contradicting yourself. They could just ask you, at that point, but that’s suspiciously similar to saying they don’t know, and they tend to avoid doing that.

Reblog to save a life

On this bitch of an Earth as it is in Heaven.

that’s just a regular platypus???

PERRY THE PLATYPUS ?!?!

how many hands you got

two? don’t see how that’s relevant

that’s still four people

will smith isn’t gay. he has a wife and three beautiful, talented children

I can’t believe this post predicted the live action Aladdin genie

If we lose tumblr how will we ever replace these posts in which every reply feels like a punch in the face

sokka, already out of his restraints, raiding the villain’s fridge: was that my boyfriend? 

sokka: aw, you should’ve let me say hi! anyway, if you’re looking for your guards, they’re in chains in the basement. now i have a date to get to, peace

“dont worry about vosotros” is the “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” of spanish class

my spanish teacher in high school was from cuba and he told us to ignore vosotros because nobody uses it and i said “but they still use it in spain, right?” to which he replied “okay, nobody that matters”

sometimes i’m like “i should buy some orange juice! i love it i don’t know why i never have it in the house” and then i get some and i remember it’s because some kind of dormant Scurvy Prevention Instinct activates within me like a sleeper agent trained to seek and destroy, except it’s just me standing in front of the open fridge at two in the morning chugging juice straight out of the carton like a crazed citrus gremlin 

I did not need to be called out like this