Megasaurus Rex

getting on the treadmill at the gym and listening to bloodcurdling screams and scary noises and running as fast as i can screaming and crying and freaking out and looking behind me like someone's chasing me for like 30 minutes and then i immediately stop and leave like nothing happened

Bro don't forget to stretch

dead wife montage but it's a henchman reminiscing about da boss after he got put six feet under. picking flowers before hiding the bodies, wiping cocaine from your nose after a big night, that long drive down the beach to find the bookie who squealed. where did the days go

Ordered truffle fries from a local italian place last night and im still thinking about how they fucked my mouth raw and left me begging for more

Okay and how were the fries

They were alright

Top ten glands in your body to produce venom with

for sure the balls

Your conjecture is baseless. Let’s see what the science says.

It said balls

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

Me without my glasses

i am looking disbespectacledly

my friends and I have created a game we call Quipposting, where you play quiplash but you roll a wheel full of character archetypes, and whatever it lands on, you all answer as if you are like, a wizard or cowboy. This legitimately makes quiplash go from a fun enough game to an S+ tier absolute unabashed banger

the best characters are Mafia Goon, Cyberpunk Hacker, Castle Guard, Sewer Rat, 16th Century Peasant, and Alien Poorly Pretending to be Human

DO NOT sleep during the day. Youll be like What the hell later

oh man i say that but then i lay down all cozy …

What the hell

wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

Go to a furry convention dressed as an 18th century fur trapper. Longrifle, jawtraps, chains, fur hat, big coat made of sewn-together pelts of different polyester neons...

I would so love this costume.