medium sized and muscular

I just had a physical exam today and I haven’t done the little knee hammer reflex test since I was like four years old so I was just like “yeah it’ll just make me flinch or whatever nbd” but when the doctor actually DID it my whole ass leg fucking launched into the air like I was David fucking Beckham. She didn’t even give me a second to recover either, I was gripping onto the exam table for dear life like “oh my god I’m so sorry” and WHAM she nails the other one. My entire body jolts as my foot flies three feet in the air and she twirls out of the trajectory of a five toe death kick to the groin like a capoeira master and just says “you have very brisk reflexes”. Like miss ma’am with the PHD didn’t just Ratitouille my whole shit. Like respectfully your honour you just played my skeleton like a piano, what the hell

$1,000,000 deposited into your bank account every day for the rest of your life or sex with Jafar?

does jafar love me

hell no bitch

I would let her kill me for sport

Bruce is an ANGEL made of two merged cat embryos

It's so funny to me that Mary Shelley, her husband, John Polidori, and Lord Byron had a competition to see who could write the best horror story and she wrote fucking Frankenstein. Imagine losing a competition that badly. Imagine just doing a silly little competition with your friend and she basically invents a new genre and creates one of the most famous characters in fiction. Imagine being proud of your little story and then she shares one that people will still read every day in 200 years. Imagine doing a writing competition with your wife and she becomes so recognizable that you'll always be known as Mary Shelley's husband

I wish Mythbusters was still around so we could see them fuck up a Cybertruck

This isn't. Physically possible. The hoop throws.

hi! what the fuck.