Weird Incest Captions

You’d think people following captions, a medium which depends in no small part on reading, would be able to read, but I keep getting asked questions like this, even though I’ve said several times, no… I’m not moving to Twitter, or Reddit, or bdsmlr, or anywhere else, at least for the forseeable future. Maybe someday, but it’s not in my plans.

After December 17th, porn is not allowed on Tumblr and they will be automatically hiding or deleting any content that has it. 

Inevitably, some adult images will slip through the algorithmic censor.

They should not be interfered with.  I'm not talking about mine, I'm talking about any of them, anywhere. These images are LUCKY, blessed by fate to escape the algorithm.  Enjoying them will increase your luck as well. 

1) He's a he. I don't know how so many of you keep making that mistake.  Just because the text is sometimes from a woman's perspective doesn't mean a woman wrote it.

2) He's related to every woman in ALL of his captions!  Sure, it may be from an offshoot 35 generations or so back, but it's all still family!

3) Every mistake he spots only after the caption is posted causes him to scratch at his eyes until they bleed.

4) He's lied to you at least once and would do it again.

5) While he did not put the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomb-bah-bomp, his great grandfather made a suggestion that he swears caused them to put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong.

6) He uses a pirated old version of photoshop for all his captioning needs and sometimes uses it to alter more than the captions.  Wedding ring doesn't fit with the caption?  Shoop it out!

7) He's written other pervy stuff under different pseudonyms.  You'll probably never know what because he doesn't like his worlds colliding. 

8) He has never committed incest (at least, with less than 4 generations of separation), and probably would not, aside from a few cousins who would only need to offer.

9) While his favorite holiday is Halloween, the first porn movie he ever saw was Christmas-themed, and this is possibly why he enjoys writing Holiday captions.  He laments the paucity of Halloween-costumed porn and wishes everyone would make more.

As some have requested, I've uploaded a complete archive of my captioning work, including the tumblr pages to most of them (which includes more dumb jokes, raunchy puns, and mini-fantasies, and also tagging information) to Mega as a .zip file.  Hopefully it works for you.  Honestly, if it doesn't, you'll have to suggest a specific filesharing site that I can use to share a 700ish MB file, that doesn't require paying for an account, because I'm not going looking.  But I think it works.

So, if you want all of the Weird Incest Captions... click RIGHT HERE.

I can't promise it'll be there for long.  I can't promise I'll put it up somewhere else when it finally disappears.  Act now, before it's too late.

The best art IS interactive.

It feels good when you inspire that kind of passion in someone, especially a daughter.

Does this count as weird?  Probably not?  But it's kind of on the borderline and it easily could be made one, which is probably why, despite having the gif for a while, I never posted it... couldn't decide which way to go.

"After lunch (which she pays for, which is nice), I take her back to her place and usually stay for a bit there, too.  What can I say, I've grown rather fond of her little pussy."

Right now I have no plans in that direction.  I’ve had a few people suggest places, but like I said, if I am going to I want a place that isn’t just a porn site and has reasonably high adoption rates.  I’ve had a few suggested but so far, for all of them, I’ve only heard them from the porn side of my life, and not heard of them at all from the non-porn side (who are also largely freaking out about the death of tumblr), which suggests to me that it’s only some of the porn tumblrs heading there, which doesn’t interest me.  Maybe that’ll change.  If it does, maybe I’ll show up there. I’m in no rush. If, right this second, there was a new site that everybody moved to, I’d probably be too worn out from this last Farewell Tour of activity to be making new captions for a while anyway, so whether I’m quiet because I’m not there or quiet because I’m not producing isn’t much difference.

To answer some other questions I’ve got a few times:

How about Twitter?:  Maybe, but I don’t have one right now (I mean, not one that I can use for porn).  If I can set up an account without them demanding phone verification, maybe, but the last time I tried to create one for temporary purposes they did and I’m just not going to bother with that. 

Could you download your content and Dropbox it for us?If there was an easy way to do that, sure.  I’ve tried Tumblr’s export function but it’s still processing, two days later (I imagine they’re getting loads of people doing that right now so maybe that’s keeping things slow).  I could zip up individual captions in a zip file but right now they’re spread out among various directories, some mixed in with more personal stuff, so gathering them that way will have to wait until I have some free time and a desire for a mind-numbing chore.  Other suggestions welcome.