quitting my job to become a lake monster

"google ai" "spotify ai dj" "ai assistant" "enhanced by ai" what if i just start beating people over the head with a rock

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

my pet waymo was feeling sad and understimulated so i let it chase a toddler thru the sam's club parking lot

uh oh! I'm showing early signs of domestication syndrome

new evidence shows dogs have "intuitive mastery of the bessemer steelmaking process", backing up centuries of anecdotes by blacksmiths in which a dog would whine and bark in distress when pig iron was heated without sufficient access to air in their presence. "It's possible Bessemer or others who claimed to have invented the process were inspired by the behavior of dogs, or that dogs communicated the details of this vital industrial process to them by unknown means", paper concludes

@ralfmaximus

the kids are calling them "stone fruits." they start off small—think cherries. then they're hooked and they need a quick fix, they get peaches, maybe some nectarines. it's all they can think about. before you know it, they're trying the really hard stuff—apricots, plums. once they taste a mango there's no going back.

rocket pops and other popsicles have had a recent surge in popularity as a drink flavor but im fucking sick of it because NO ONE is putting a drop of popsicle stick wood extract in it. its fake as fuck if im not tasting the STICK