it's blowing my mind rn that it really turns out candace owens is the only friend charlie kirk had in life and she's so mad about his widow's reaction she just leaked an audio from a few days after his death where erika kirk is on a zoom call giddy about the bump in merch sales and the memorial being "the event of the century"

then what

oh

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

Hey op google what LCD stands for

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

one of my least favorite tropes is when a character has a crush that is explicitely unrequited and hopeless, yet in the timeskip epilogue they inexplicably get married. like bro if you fruitlessly pine after someone and they show no interest for the whole 3 year run of the story and then suddenly change their mind. i think theyre settling for you. quite frankly both of you need to learn some self respect. get divorced immediately.

If you want me, I'll be in the bookstore smelling the paperbacks like a pervert.

we should all be living with this level of dedication and whimsy !! 🗡️

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

lot of people commenting on this post like "who eats lunch at 4pm that's a terrible time to eat lunch" yes. that is the point. 4pm lunch is inadvisable. 4pm lunch is not the ideal. 4pm lunch makes the mind demons real.

folks you’re never gonna believe what i did today

Me having sex after 10 years of playing WoW: i need you to wear these giant shoulderpads Her: why? Me: please

@ralfmaximus