oh my god i almost forgot to tell you all about how, while my dad was visiting, i had an infestation of every single kind of bug in my house that hasn't been a problem before or since. like i'm not kidding i evicted so many creeping crawlies that week and couldn't for the life of me stop mosquitos from stealing my blood, but as soon as he left they vanished. and i mean, sure, there's a perfectly rational explanation, because two people make more mess than one and he has a habit of leaving the windows wide open enough to fly a jet engine through day and night, but i can't help but think how symbolically on the nose it was. the ancestral rot at the heart of my family so gothic it's got ants and flies buzzing around its decaying corpse.

hey so update but i haven't been harassed by a single freaky little beast since my dad left even after leaving some crumbs on the floor as an experiment to see if they attracted any ants so i think my dad might just be bugs actually

This was now a decade ago but I got news about this kitty from someone who works at the clinic he lived in: he lived up to 20 years old 💙

omg finally

i’m going to blow up everything forever.

Nature is incredible, you can really see just at a quick glance how these evolved to speak together in rhyming riddles while performing a spooky dance, laughing at you because they're The Wee Creatures Three and you will Never Get Their Key.

foot to head ratio off the charts

Girl just block me it’s not that serious

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

ITALIAN MANWHORE SUMMER

always reblog italian manwhore summer

(opening my ribcage) and this is where i keep my hot stab of shame

the loss of the audio jack is due to puritan culture hating on penetration

you want to be mommy’s adjective noun, don’t you, pet name? you want to verb and verb for mommy like a good gender

Mesopotamian girl sending clay tablets to her best friend who lives five city states to the west: what if..... Enkidu begot Gilgamesh with child?🤭