MayJuVac

Then he thought he was too old for that kind of thing anymore and he got packed away and anyway one night Shane and Ilya are at Yuna and David’s for dinner and they are like oh Shane we got out some of your old stuff cause we moved some stuff to the storage locker etc etc and go through this book and see what you want to keep. And Ilya is doing his important job of being Shane’s chair while Shane goes through the boxes and Ilya reaches around Shane to pick up little bear who is squished in the box and he is like “who is this” and Shane is like oh just a toy and David is like ?????? Just a TOY! That’s little bear! And he’s telling Ilya how Shane wouldn’t EVER part with the soft toy for like the first six years of his life and the one time he had drive back two hours on a road trip to the hotel they’d left because someone little bear got left behind and when Shane woke up from his nap and realised it was like FUCK all hands on DECK we gotta go find this guy.

AnWAYYY Ilya is like omg ! This is a very important guy !!!!! How do I not know about him and like maybe he’s gonna cry a little because he’s thinking about tiny baby Shane and oh god. And then he tucks little bear under his arm and it’s ridiculous and he’s carrying him around the rest of the evening and teasing Shane a bit abt it and Shane just scoffs and deflects and then when they get home Shane realises Ilyas bought the toy home with him and he’s like Ilya 😠🙄 drop it and Ilya is like I was not kidding he seems very important to you I do not think he should be in david and Yuna’s storage locker !

Shane: So my main source of income is gone and it will likely affect my other sources of income?

Yuna, holding his hand: Honey don't be ridiculous if you can't play because of this injury they still have to pay out to the end of your contract and we've already invested to make sure you're richer than anyone would ever need to be.

Shane: So what is the problem?

Ilya, in tears: What is in your head? What are you actually thinking about in their? You're brain is 95% hockey what is even left? How are you even still breathing???

Plastic rings that.

Halloween party moments.

Yes, all of those, but what I am most looking forward to right now is:

I can see it so clearly. Just confident and done with this shit. COME ON, ILYA. And Ilya like the good man he is, listening to his Shane very proudly.

Yuna Hollander's son!!!!!!

It’s fine. This is a readily comprehensible human illogic. Exactly the kind of thing he expected from moving to Earth.

And he decides he’s honored by it, in a humanly illogical way.

The humans are asking him to do what is after all his job, and specifically requesting him for the joy his name brings them on top of an already agreeable and satisfying task. He has no objection to engendering positive emotions in others. Harm hastens the heat-death of the universe, Surak teaches, so happiness must logically slow it down. 

Plus, Vulcans of his generation love puns. There were two decades of punning competitions in colleges across the planet. So when he realizes that he is a walking zero-effort pun, and that the humans also love the pun, he is all for it. He is the Joe Cool of the entire Vulcan population in his city. 

And via this pun, the humans are including him in a cherished and traditional myth, by casting him as the literal bringer of life and the expander of families. 

For real though working together with some human social workers, a Vulcan would be an excellent caretaker for children in an adoption center.

Child has a meltdown? Imagine Stork, perfectly calm and unbothered, approaching the kid and saying “You appear quite upset, Eliza. If you would please allow me to relocate you to the ‘bean-bag-chair,’ we can discuss the source of your distress.”

A Vulcan educated in medicine and child psychology would be endlessly patient with a kid with behavioral issues. Stork wouldn’t get or upset or frustrated. After all, these are children with medical and psychological conditions. It would be illogical to blame the child or to not treat them with the appropriate care.

Even if the a little one was having a bad day or was just overtired, Stork wouldn’t get angry. He might even be a calming presence. Any new kids acting out would learn real quick that they’d have better luck trying to arm-wrestle a Klingon than get a rise out of Stork.

Not only that, Vulcans live much longer than humans. Imagine Stork looking virtually unchanged as decades pass. Kids he’d helped years ago would turn up fully grown, maybe there to adopt their own kids, and run into Stork, looking almost exactly as they remember him.

Heed The Stork

There’s Always A Chance and

Not Logical by MarlinSpirkHall (hi)

What Stork Brings by AfterIWake @mousedetective

One (1) Daily Shoulder Pat by Android_And_Ale @android-and-ale

Just This Once, Everybody Lives by @alternatefuturesao3

pov: you're making history. you're working with the most advanced technology in the world. outlook still doesn't fucking work.

dan eats phil