gay

My dad is actually my step-dad. He and my mom got together when I was eight, and got married a few years later. I never actually call him my step-dad, because as far as I’m concerned he’s just my dad.

My bio-dad has never been in the picture. I’ve never even met him. So my formative years were spent having a very complicated relationship with the concept of fathers. I both wanted a dad and didn’t need one, because my family is fairly large and I had no shortage of grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins stepping in to help my mom out.

But I still always felt sad about not having a dad, y'know? Everyone else did. It made me feel lonely and kind of abandoned.

My favorite book when I was little was Papa Please Get the Moon for Me, by Eric Carle. If you’re unfamiliar, the plot is basically that this guy loves his child so much that he literally steals the moon from the sky when she asks. I LOVED that book, but, like…it also made me kind of sad, because I didn’t have a dad who would do that for me.

Fast forward to when I was older, and my (step)dad and my mom had my little brothers. When I was in high school, they were both really little, and one of them got his hands on my copy of Papa Please Get the Moon for Me, which I’d kept for nostalgia’s sake.

Little shit destroyed it. He was little, he didn’t really know any better yet, but I was DEVASTATED. I full-on sobbed. Sure, I could get another one, but it wouldn’t be the same, y'know?

Christmas that year, I open up my gifts, and there’s one from my dad in particular. It was kinda weird, because my parents never really specify when a Christmas gift is from one specifically; they just get all the kids gifts and only label who they’re to.

So I open it, intrigued, and y'all know what it was?

It was NOT a new copy of Papa Please Get the Moon for Me.

Me: