don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels
cherry valley forever
The Bowery Presents
Today's Document
The Stonewall Inn
One Nice Bug Per Day
Fai_Ryy
Mike Driver

Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Cosmic Funnies

ellievsbear
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
h

gracie abrams
noise dept.
sheepfilms

Game of Thrones Daily
Claire Keane

seen from Malaysia
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seen from Sweden
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@marshmallowwithabs
don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

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"Imagine," says the voice, "that you were underneath a blanket. It's a little small, so your feet poke out from underneath it, and your arms come out from either side."
"Okay," says the human, dangling upside down, suspended by a group of tentacles. "I got it."
"Right," says the voice, which comes from everywhere and nowhere. "Now consider a cat. The cat thinks you're kind of like a cat, but you're so big, he has some problems understanding that all of your body is really you."
"Am I the-"
"Yes. Now listen. Especially under the blanket, the cat doesn't really know where your body begins and ends. He sees your feet, and decides to attack them. He's only play-fighting, but his claws are real sharp, so it hurts. What would you do?"
"Well," says the human, gently spinning in the tentacle's grasp, "I'd try to tuck my feet under the blanket."
"Ah, but then it's even worse," claims the voice, triumphantly, "because now your cat sees Blanket Monsters and attacks them twice as hard."
"So you have to grab the cat."
"It's either that or burrito her," says the voice, squeezing the human in the grip of its tentacles. "And since in this metaphor the blanket represents the fabric of reality as you know it, I don't think you'd find it very pleasant."
"Fair enough," says the human, blood beginning to pool in her head. "Can you please put me down, now? I promise I won't attack you again."
"That's what the cat says every time, too, and yet..."
so thinking about this, i am reminded of graystoke, the smartest cat by far that i ever had.
graystoke hated feet and frequently attacked them.
and one day, when he was probably ten or so, he attacked my feet, and i said ow, and he suddenly stared at me with this look of absolute horror. and he did not attack feet again.
explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly
The really unfortunate thing about mental health progress is that sometimes you realize you've made it in the form of "wow, I haven't felt this bad in a fucking while"
On the one hand it's a bit of a pick me up in a dark place to know that this will pass because it has passed before on the other hand sometimes it isn't entirely a pleasant thought to go "wow, I used to feel like this all the time. That was pretty fucking bad. It's pretty bad right now too also."
Someday your current baseline will be the sort of thing you consider A Really Bad Day. It does get better.

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[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-
DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE
reblog to ruin a law student’s life
oh hello you’ve returned to us
Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.
horse cream puff …
being single sucks [remembers that romantic love isnt the gleaming beacon of salvation that will fix the chasm within me] #mychasm #isupportmychasm [remembers not to trivialize my emotions] but it is painful to never have been deemed worthy of that kind of lasting love [remembers how many incels there are] but honestly you should be totally self-sufficient and never want anything ever [remembers that im evil] im evil
“you’re a grown ass man and you need help doing that?” some grown ass men are disabled ma’am
I was tidying up a room, and right in the middle of it I saw a massive grandfather clock. At some point I noticed it had the AO3 symbol on it, so obviously I decided to take a picture and post it on Tumblr.
Except I accidentally captioned it, “guys check this out, I’ve got the one and only AO3 grandfather cock.”
I realized immediately, but by the time I reblogged it with “CLOCK” in all caps, it was too late. It had already done numbers on this hellsite.
#mygrandfathercock

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Imagine if we did the “public libraries are punk” thing for other subcultures. Imagine if people made shirts that said “Soup kitchens are grunge” or “Mixed Use Urbanism is Juggalo”.
Leucistic boy from the Giraffe Pride posing on the sand with his tawny sister.
Taken at Kings Camp, South Africa Photographed by Jason Kramer
Fuckin Phantom of the Dive Bar here
Shirt you can only wear at 3pm on a Tuesday
queue'd for 3 on Tuesday
Ugh they are always doing this
Little freaks

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(via (21) Xユーザーのコムギと卍丸(まんじまる)とのりまきとおむすびとおはぎさん: 「シンクロ成功👍 https://t.co/YlCCCWHLhu」 / X)