I'm just saying, if avoiding being attacked by a wild bear you encounter in the woods is easier than avoiding getting shot when you're pulled over for a broken headlight, maybe there are some serious issues with society.

you all hate the position i sleep in because you haven’t advanced to my level and you’re jealous of my mental acuity and caustic wit as well as being extremely good at sleeping

@softlikevelvet the last two pictures!

You know what that is a good law

"Keep your hands on the steering wheel and don't have anything in them, a police officer might mistake a cellphone for a weapon." Okay, should I also hold my hand out for him to sniff when he approaches so that he knows I'm not a threat?

nothing can break the bond between a friend who loves spoilers and a friend who just watched an amazing show and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

alternatively: nothing can break the bond between a friend who doesnt read and a friend who just read an amazing book and needs to tell someone the entire plot from start to finish

still alternatively: nothing can break the bond between someone who has just finished listening to 48 episodes of a podcast that’s rocked their whole world and someone who is absolutely not going to listen to 48 episodes of that podcast

hey bro. is that your boobs in your shirt or is your penis huge and two of them

I love these posts,, incomprehensible

my post makes perfect sense, if you have the mind of a Dope Soul with a Grand Vision of the world, like I do

MEN!!! it's spring. crop your shirts

No, we have hairy, pudgy bellies

no you don’t understand thats WHY you need to crop your shirts

some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.

I couldn't remember the word "doorknob" ten minutes ago.

REBLOG TO SAVE A WRITER'S LIFE

the first rule of fight club is to obey the discord rules and terms of service. the second rule of fight club is please keep all potentially triggering content in the vent channel