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@marsh-room
new pinned post
my name is marshall and i like making boring things silly! if you want to support me you can purchase a commission for $5 or maybe buy one of my silly stickers on redbubble > https://tinyurl.com/fruice
ok thank u for ur attention :]

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oh so some people can just listen to a song and understand the lyrics
what if you’re all lying
not even an exaggeration
[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #lyrics are an easter egg you decode on your 30th listen /End ID]
i keep thinking abt bump and cracking up
why.
EDIT: OH MY GOD DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS I WAS POKING FUN AT HOW COMICALLY DYSTOPIAN THIS APP DESIGN IS
(white guy at a barbecue in the 90s)
Consequences, buddy how the fuck have you been? Man it's been so long- you didn't come alone did you? Where's your- oh hey! What's good My Actions! (waves.) Wow that was a close one I thought maybe you two got divorced and you invited yourself. Haha!
as a cis girl in a feminine system i've never felt dysphoric until writing this post and realizing with dread i can never be peter from office space
Attn: People With Cervixes!
When was your last Pap smear?
Because I am tired of seeing young people (think 40 year olds!) die horribly of an almost completely preventable disease, and I haven't seen the obligatory Tumblr PSA about it, so I'm making my own.
1. CERVICAL CANCER IS REALLY BAD
Cancers that have a good prognosis are usually cancers that can be caught early--like skin cancer, which is easily seen, and therefore usually treated very early. Cervical cancer does not give you symptoms until you have very advanced disease, which means unless someone is regularly testing your cervix, you will likely not be diagnosed early. More than half of people diagnosed with cervical cancer present with advanced disease. 75% of them will be dead within 5 years. For comparison, when caught in the earliest stage, there is a 90% 5 year survival rate. Treatment for those diagnosed is chemo and radiation, and believe me, those are not fun. If you do happen to be in the lucky 25% of survivors, if your cancer comes back, you have an 85% chance of dying within a year. Also! We think of cancer as something that happens to old people, but the average age of diagnosis for cervical cancer is 50.
2. WHO GETS CERVICAL CANCER?
Cervical cancer used to be the most common cause of cancer-related death in women in America, but at this point it's basically a disease of People Without Pap Smears--developing countries, immigrants, low socioeconomic status, BIPOC, rural communities, LGBTQ, etc.
3. HOW DO PAP SMEARS SAVE YOUR LIFE?
A Pap smear is a screening test for two things: HPV, and your cervical cells. HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease in the world. Literally half of the people in America have some strain of HPV on their body. Most HPV infections go away on their own (in people with healthy immune systems), but some strains are Very Bad, and some people are just Very Unlucky, and the HPV starts causing your cervical cells to turn cancerous. 91% of all cervical cancers are caused by HPV. So a Pap smear looks to see if your have HPV, and if so, is it one of the bad ones? And also, do you have any cancerous cells hanging about in your cervix? And! It takes 10-30 years for HPV to turn those cells into cancer, which means you have a really really long time to catch it before it becomes cancer and cut those pre-cancer cells out!
4. WHAT ABOUT THAT VACCINE?
The thing my dad said I shouldn't get because it might make me a slut. Yes! There is an HPV vaccine! You should get it! It protects you against the nine most common cancer-causing types of HPV. It's recommended starting at age 11, and you can get it up to age 45 now! (It used to be 26, but as of 2020, it's now extended.)You can get it from most primary care doctors, or from Planned Parenthood, CVS, Walgreens, etc. If you get the vaccine you still need Pap smears.
5. I HEARD YOU CAN ONLY GET THE VACCINE IF YOU'RE A VIRGIN
Fake news. While the vaccine does not treat old infections of HPV, it does prevent new ones, so while the benefits are theoretically decreased in those who have already been sexually active, it does not mean you will not benefit from having it!
6. WHO GETS PAP SMEARS?
Everyone with a cervix starting at age 21, until you lose your cervix or until you're 65. You should get them every 3-5 years (depending on your exact age and what test your doctor does).
7. BUT I GOT THE VACCINE
Nice! You still need Pap smears.
8. I HAD ONE AND IT WAS HORRIBLE/I'M SCARED OF THE EXAM
Talk to your doctor about this in advance! Good gynecologists (and other providers) will work with you to minimize discomfort as much as possible. They can use a small speculum and lots of gel, prescribe anti-anxiety medications to take in advance, and some people will even use numbing creams and/or laughing gas.
9. BUT I DON'T HAVE/CAN'T SEE A GYN
Most primary care physicians can do them! So do a lot of urgent care centers!
10. BUT I'M A LESBIAN
HPV can be transmitted through oral/genital contact, hand/genital, and even hand-to-hand-then-genital, so you still need Pap smears.
11. BUT I'M A VIRGIN/ASEXUAL
You still need Pap smears. HPV can be transmitted not just through penetrative sex, but also through oral/genital, hand/genital, and hand-to-hand-then-genital, and also 9% of cervical cancers are not caused by HPV.
12. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER MAN
If your cervix was removed, then congrats! You do not need Pap smears. Otherwise, unfortunately, you are still at risk for cervical cancer and need to be screened.
13. BUT I'M A TRANSGENDER WOMAN
Neovaginas do not need Pap smears! Congrats! Consider getting the vaccine, though, to prevent spreading HPV to others.
14. BUT I'M A CIS-GENDERED MAN
Congrats! You do not need Pap smears! You should still consider the vaccine though, not only to prevent the spread of HPV to others, but also because HPV causes 50% of all penile cancers as well.
In summary: please please please go get your pap smear. Go get vaccinated. The spread of HPV can be prevented, and cervical cancer can be caught and treated before it even becomes cancer.
DON'T FEAR THE SMEAR
it's cervical cancer awareness month y'all
Also, pap smears need to start at age 21 OR when you start being sexually active, whichever comes first.

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This is the level of hyperanalystic bullshit I live for
not so fast, in the review of gusteau’s anton ego compares gusteau to chef boyardee or hector boiardi with a tone implying that boyardee is dead and in history
given that gusteau died shortly after this and the will takes 2 years after death
assuming that ego’s review was the same year that boiardi died then the absolute EARLIEST the movie can take place is 1987
and about the incredibles, when looking for the scene with the newspaper i stumbled across this
a headline from 2002, and given that lawsuits generally take a while and september to december is really quick for the banning of supers so let’s say they were banned in mid 2003, at the EARLIEST incredibles can take place in 2018, with ratatouille taking place sometime in between 2003 and 2018
assuming that was a mistake, thunderhead died november 15 1958, a date where superheroes would’ve been illegal if incredibles 1 took place in 1962
and adding onto the impossibility of the date being 1962 his death is included in the shutdown reports of the national supers agency
so the year in which the movies take place is impossible to find because the staff of the incredibles couldn’t chose a date and commit to it
I take it back
This is the level of hyperanalystic bullshit I live for
IS NO ONE GONNA MENTION THAT THUNDERHEAD IS GAY?!?!
OMG OMG OMG
“loves kids, adopted single father of 5 children, raising them with help of his roommate, Scott”
oh my god, they were roommates
It’s been a while since I got a wild text from a wrong number
Uhhh so warning for nsfw conversations below the break but I had to ask
They sent a picture as proof ig??? and I would like to bleach my eyes
PROOF??? pls tell me it was just a pick of the stuff together and not the activity 😭
The second one
Update: woke up to this
This is the best question I’ve seen now I’m wondering if he doesn’t have toothpaste
Wrestlers ar WAIT WHAT THE FUCK
POST CANCELLED. THE GOLF COURSE ACROSS THE STREET BLEW UP
HELLO????
i think a lot of people need to learn the crucial skill of "not ragebaiting themselves with shit they know they wont like"

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Black Sapphire's origins, pt 2
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It's also the gargoyle! That's where Sapphire's wings come from :]
i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point
you get it. you get the themes. i dont have time to do it justice. just look at it its on the ceiling
i'm in the shower eating beef teriyaki sticks and you're in the shower uhhh cleaning yourself or something. which is fine i guess
If criminals don't get to have human rights, then the people in charge of deciding what a criminal is get to decide who is and is not human. Do you understand? Is this not blindingly obvious? Do you care?
Or do you assume you will always be "one of the good ones"?
confession: two weeks ago my friends got sick of me slowly cooking to death in my self-pitying emotional soup of heartbreak, took me out for drinks, and installed a dating app on my phone. we are all in the same degree at uni (i'm 25 + i promise this is relevant), in a faculty that is extremely quaint and mostly comprised of academics married to people with normal jobs. two years ago a teacher-couple joined our program's faculty, a fact that caused a minor riot within the teaching staff, who thought it was unfair to give two of four tenured jobs to a couple... unfortunately for them both of these profs are extremely beloved among the students and very good teachers at that. even if you've never taken classes from either of them, you know about this couple and probably whatever rumors are going around about them too. i've taken classes w/ both.
anyway. back to me on the dating app in the bar with my friends, pretty drunk, swiping though my bumble suggestions. for extra fun, we have set the minimum age to 30 and the gender to include "both" even though i am a lesbian. the whole table is viciously tearing down dating profiles, investigating their pictures, etc. i go to the bar to get another round for the group, am about to pay for our drinks when i hear a virtual SHRIEK from our corner. i get back, dish our drinks out. my phone is in the middle of the table, untouched by anyone like it's a cursed object. i look at the screen. it's them, our teacher couple. they have a shared dating profile, stating that they are "looking for someone to explore her bisexuality with". lesbian readers will know that this is not exactly an uncommon profile type to find, but still, seeing it from people who have taught basically everything you know about 19th century literature is... quite something. so naturally i decide to swipe right before anyone can stop me.
maia, i am so proud to report: i fucked that man's wife, she was absolutely lovely, and we will see each other again, and i am currently taking another class from her husband where the vibe is more than chill. my friends have been sworn to secrecy, but i know it's only a matter of time before someone slips up and the rumor mill starts churning... but who cares? i haven't thought about my ex since!
OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT

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the thing is is that you'll be like. 11 years old and someone will tell you that you have to shave your legs. either it will be your mum or a friend or a mean girl in the p.e. changing rooms telling you how gross it is that you have hair on your legs. so then you ask your mum about it and she says yep you have to take this razor blade and drag it across your skin under running water and just hope you don't cut yourself too badly and you have to do this every single week and maybe more frequently than that and you have to do that for fucking ever. the rest of your fucking life. because the hair that grows naturally on your legs is gross and ugly and people will laugh and boys won't like you! of course boys have hair on THEIR legs. but that's normal and even attractive and it's just not the same for you. and a few years later they'll say well you obviously should also be shaving your armpits. and then it's your arms and then it's that you have to wax your upper lip and pluck your eyebrows and ewww why do you have hair on your fingers and your toes.. you need to shave that too. and then suddenly you need to buy spray that will make invisible hairs on your face visible so that you can shave that too! and it's expensive and time consuming and difficult and it HURTS but they just say beauty is pain babe! and you're not allowed to say that maybe if beauty is pain then you don't actually want to be beautiful
and i'm so fucking tired of girls who do shave being defensive when this topic comes up because then i have to say well of COURSE it's your personal choice whether you want to shave or not! no offense! maybe it makes you feel empowered! you do it for YOURSELF! because that's bullshit and i actually DO think you should stop shaving your legs because it's not fucking empowering it's insane. if you give it more than a minute of thought it can't possibly be empowering. you're in a PRISON!!!!! and i was in the prison too okay and i know it seems hard to break out but i promise you it's not. and the more people we can break out of the prison the easier it gets for everyone else i swear to god. please