Doctor Pastel

@24-7fandombrain

imagine you're some guy and you're going through the woods one day and you stumble upon a house and the people who live there just give you free food and eventually let you inside and it's like nothing you've ever seen before and the people are so nice and loving towards you and then one day they decide to never let you leave again, steal your balls, and give you a stupid fucking hair cut

a scene must be included PRIOR to sex where the characters READ their birth certificates OUT LOUD so the reader will know they were born on the SAME DATE to avoid any disgusting AGE GAPS

Shitty parents will guilt their kids about how much they have to suffer to put a roof over their head, like having kids was the only reason they had to grudgingly give up on a lifelong dream of being homeless.

If you're having a private phone conversation with the phone off your ear, no headphones, and the speaker on in public, that's a public conversation now. That's an open invite, and I'm going to chime in if I have an opinion. This is now OUR disagreement about your boyfriend's spending habits.

“my teenage child is so selfish” is an interesting thing I only see online moms say about their daughters. I’ve never seen one say it about their son. I think it’s because daughters enter the teenage years and begin developing critical thinking skills and independence and it enrages these parents who were using their kids as their own little therapists and unpaid domestic laborers.

I have the opposite of what the catholics have going on. I think that if I'm irredeemably wretched and imperfect, that's not my problem, and it's god and my parents who should be begging for forgiveness about that. Why would I be ashamed of being their creation, they should be ashamed of creating me.

every single school teacher should get paid $300,000 a year minimum and ICE agents should all die simultaneously in agony. this is my congressional budget plan

And none of the supplies they use for classrooms comes out of that $300,000, that’s a separate budget line

There's people who have a religion, and there's Religious People. The first type is just normal people who happen to have a foundational structure they like to have their world built upon. The latter type are the kind that make me want to lean in and say "look, I would not even want to get into the kind of Heaven that would let you in."