Just a normal Ace.

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN EARN THE LOVE OF MY CITIZENS!

I AM A GLORIOUS EMPEROR, I CAN ADEQUATELY PREPARE MY SUCCESSOR!

with the clones using their wildly different hair styles/dyes and piercings and tattoos to help differentiate each other. it becomes identifying features, and so they stick to those chosen looks forever.

which results in hilarious moments such as:

Obi-Wan, cuts off the mullet: hello there 212th, collectively raising their blasters: who the fuck are you and how did you get on this ship?

Mace Windu, coming back from a long and tedious time at the temple going over reports and strategies and redirecting senators with a scruffy beard: good morning Commander Ponds, internally: omg omg omg when did they start cloning jedi? or has General Windu always had a brother? is this a test? is this an imposter? Windu: I know, the beard is untidy, I was planning on shaving in my quarters once we were in hyperspace Ponds: ... of course sir.

Plo, who's eye protection was compromised during the last battle and has to use his backup pair: Wolffe: *snarling* Plo: I will refrain from wearing the orange ones if it makes you that uncomfortable Wolffe. they are a bit gaudy but they were a gift from my niece. Wolffe: ... buir?

Corrie shiny: *does somethjng ridiculously stupid*

Palpatine: *eyes flash yellow in rage*

Thorn: *shoots Palpatine on instict, no thoughts, able to evade force danger warning system*

Palpatine: *dead*

Jedi: *stunned*

Senate, collectively: omg the clones are rebelling- holy shit we are all gonna die!

Thorn: OK lets mobalize men! Imposter is neutralized. Time to find where they took the real Chancellor!

See, it's not just that he writes mediocre, churned-out thrillers; there are many, many authors of mediocre, churned-out thrillers out there, he ain't special.

It's also not that he "writes" them with "coauthors" and slaps his name on them - again, this is not unique.

It's not even - though this is starting to get there- that he chases every publishing trend and creates His Version of everything from Diary of a Wimpy Kid to Nicholas Sparks, which nobody likes as well as they like his thrillers but still buy because they have His Name on them like a summoning charm.

No, what makes James Patterson uniquely loathed is the combination of the frequency of publication and his popularity. Because, to be honest, I'm not sure that anyone even likes his books anymore, but it doesn't matter, because if they have the James Patterson name on them then readers will be queuing up like zombies desperate for a fix of decaying cerebral matter. Which would be tolerable if he had the decency to only write one book a year like most other bestselling authors, but "James Patterson" (quotes VERY intentional) puts out roughly two books per month. So as a librarian, not only do you have to buy every new book James Patterson puts out, you have to buy multiple copies in order to fulfill demand. Somewhere around 5% of my fiction budget is spent ENTIRELY ON JAMES PATTERSON. Every new James Patterson that comes out means a dozen or more queer romances, inventive sci-fi novellas, unique cultural viewpoints, etc, etc that you can't buy because YOU HAVE TO BUY JAMES PATTERSON INSTEAD. (See also, you just weeded and shifted the Ps in fiction to make room and now it's full again oh god why.)

And the clincher - the absolute clincher - is the knowledge that the publishers will be "finding" "unfinished manuscripts" by "James Patterson" for a minimum of fifty years after his death, so even if some right-minded bibliophile with a claymore takes one for the team, we will never, ever be free.

What’s in the bag: Ryland Grace style

(Getting dragged along to meetings means bag searches happen quite often. He is NEVER ready)

Part three of this saga started by @justcakethanks and the EWC

"She's stupid" is actually a great claim if you watch the show blind without audio

LUCKY CHARM MAKES HER COSMICALLY ORDAINED TO WIN, ANYONE WHO USES IT, NOT JUST HER

SHE IS THE GUARDIAN SO SHE OWNS THE MIRACLE BOX AND UNIFIES WITH OTHER MIRACULOUSES COUNTLESS TIMES IN THE SERIES TO DEFEAT A VILLAIN

THAT IS AN ESTABLISHED, REPEAT ABILITY

SHE EVEN USED THE MOUSE MIRACULOUS TO USE SEVERAL AT ONCE VIA CLONES

SHE CAN STILL DO THAT IN SEASON 6, BUT SHE JUST DOESN'T HAVE TO IF SHE SPREADS OUT THE MIRACULOUSES TO HER FOOT SOLDIERS BC IT STRAINS HER BODY

"But that's unfair to Miles, these abilities are too broken-"

HENCE WHY SHE WOULD WIN, CONGRATS YOU UNDERSTAND HOW COOKED MILES AND HIS VILLAINS WOULD BE IN THE MLB UNIVERSE

The reason why villains in MLB don't immediately get got like Miguel or Spot is bc they work within the same cosmic power system