Pepperoni Appreciation Blog

happy fourth of july to the philippines ONLY

one of my favorite bits in lord of the rings is something the movies didn't really try to do because it's entirely internal, but sam's carrying the ring and it starts trying to do its work on him, so he's having these intrusive visions of himself marching at the head of a vast and terrible army, and he just starts laughing because, me? samwise gamgee? sam gamgee the general sam gamgee the dark lord are you for real? man i just want to go home and do some gardening. and the ring gets frustrated and it starts trying to figure out other stuff that would actually tempt sam and it's finally like, okay, but hear me out: imagine if you could have...A REALLY REALLY BIG GARDEN

and then he's like, i don't know that sounds like a lot more work than a regular garden actually. why don't we just get on with finding mister frodo

A young gay dragon being forced to explain to his dad why he’s only kidnapping princes

A young gay prince having to explain to his dad how he keeps managing to get kidnapped by the same dragon, over and over.

so does the dragon shapeshift or are 100,000+ people really okay with a dragon a human doing the do

Maybe the human is the one who shapeshifts, you don’t know

obsessed with the fact that howl movingcastle is, like, the ideal portal fantasy protagonist. he's a welsh rugby-playing grad student who enters a magical world where he discovers he's a wildly powerful wizard. there's an evil witch out to get him and the king needs his help and there's a curse catching up with him. he has a magical creature sidekick and an orphan apprentice and a mentor who gets killed by the evil witch halfway through and a love interest under a terrible curse. the story is BEGGING for him to be the main character. and he's just like. no <3.

Imagine you meet an alien. You become friends with the alien. You both have fun learning about each other. Eventually you try to go find some privacy so you can shit. The alien asks if it can watch. You say you're not very comfortable with that. The alien asks you WHY you're not comfortable with that. Baffled, you explain that you're going to shit, which is gross and generally something people do in private, and it's really weird to watch someone else doing it. The alien is shocked to hear this. On its planet, it explains to you, shitting isn't a private thing at all. People shit in public all the time. Sometimes right outside on the street. The toilet is in the center of everyone's home and families are all expected to sit and shit together at the same time. There are millions of businesses whose sole purpose is to provide nice places to shit. You go there and they have a selection of different toilets you can choose from and then you shit in front of dozens of other people, also shitting. People have lots of preferences about the types of toilets they shit on. This really, seriously matters to most people. Some people pay crazy amounts of money to get the nicest toilets. Fancy toilets are often used in group-shittings to celebrate special occasions or achievements. People go to school to learn how to make better toilets. There are huge swaths of culture entirely devoted to making different kinds of good toilets and some people even travel the world specifically to try different places to shit. Okay so imagine that and then think about how this is roughly equivalent to what Rocky went through when meeting Ryland Grace.

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

I like to imagine that at least once during the clone wars someone sent a report to General Kenobi and a very tired Master Kenobi just graded it and sent it back.