words of affirmation i repeat on the daily
hello vonnie
noise dept.
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
styofa doing anything
taylor price
KIROKAZE

JVL
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

if i look back, i am lost
Cosimo Galluzzi

oozey mess
Show & Tell
Cosmic Funnies
Sweet Seals For You, Always

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Today's Document

⁂
Three Goblin Art
art blog(derogatory)

pixel skylines
seen from France

seen from Brazil
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seen from Germany
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seen from France
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seen from United States

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@stealthetrees
words of affirmation i repeat on the daily

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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This is Sun Wu Kong, a Chinese mythological figure who was a monkey that was born from a stone, practiced Taoism to the point of gaining heavenly abilities and was known as a trickster and mischief-maker among the heavens.
One of his most famous stories was how the Buddha imprisoned him under a mountain for 500 years for rebelling against the heavens.
The billy!!!!!!! :D
Long haired Jay i love you, but it’s time for an update (it’s good i swear trust me)
Spicynoodles Bio Parent AU (PREV/FIRST/)
❤️🔥NEXT 3 PARTS ARE ALREADY ON MY KO-FI❤️🔥
Updates every Tuesday & Saturday at 1PM ET

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dance lesson
one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.
and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.
can you imagine.
[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]
and then what?
hey and then what
Turns out the horsemen of the Apocalypse now prefer to go by Shareholder Profit, Private Equity, Corporate Personhood, and Workforce Optimization.
Shareholder Profit: War (the casus belli for attacks on workers' rights)
Private Equity: Pestilence (they are parasites that voraciously strip the value out of a healthy business until it withers and dies)
Workforce Optimization: Famine (cutting hours and employees until the business is starved of staff, barely functioning)
Corporate Personhood: Death (a hollow, shambling mockery of a human with rights and needs)
Yeah I can work with that.
has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

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i'm way to tired to color this
also baby's first jttw fanart !! i'm nervous i don't even go here
I’ll never understand why anthropomorphic animal cartoons like Robin Hood and Zootopia will go to the trouble of creating character designs that are meant to be understood as “attractive” or even “sexy” to the human audience but explicitly avoid showing interspecies romances between anthropomorphic animals. Why is THAT weird but, like, trying to make rabbits recognizably sexy-coded to humans isn’t?
Sometimes, sure, but why was Maid Marian a fox in Robin Hood? There wasn’t anything particularly “foxlike” about her personality, and it would make more sense for her to be a lion. They made her a fox only because Robin was a fox and making her something else would be “weird”, but I don’t think the wolf cop or the chicken maid or the lion prince were actually meant to represent race.
The best inter species couple is Kermit and Miss Piggy as the Cratchits in A Muppet Christmas Carol, because all their sons are frogs and all their daughters are pigs, as God clearly intended.
there are only two genders: frog and pig
I’ve pointed out to my friends that the fact that Kermit and Miss Piggy’s kids are like that means either
1) they reproduce asexually and the children are clones of each parent OR
2) Kermit and Miss Piggy are members of the same sexually dimorphic species, hence the split between their male and female children
yes I have spent too long running about potential muppet biology
oh god
Third option, when they want kids they get some fabric and make one, and hope a Hand inhabits it
Do you think there’s a ritual for inviting An Inhabiting Hand to possess the empty husk of your muppet baby?
Just wanted to show u guys that in Muppets Most Wanted, Piggy fantasizes about her and Kermit having babies and this is what they look like
So do with that what you will
Recall that in The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit and Fozzie are brothers. And this was their dad (right):
Thank you for specifying, which one of the two individuals in the picture was the dad haha
I, for one, think Shrek handled interspecies coupling the best. By this I am of course talking about the Dronkeys.
In season 3 of BoJack Horseman, we learn Diane (middle) has been impregnated by Mr. Peanutbutter (left). The fetuses are confirmed to be puppies.
This is the worst addition to this post
I am reminded of Treasure Planet.
In which Captain Amelia (left), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic cat, had hybrid babies with Doctor Doppler (middle), an extra terrestrial anthropomorphic dog, whom also gave birth to the babies
I always thought that in muppet movies like muppet Christmas Carol the characters are played by the muppets (so kermit is acting and playing the role of Bob rather than being him) so the kids in that film would just be other acting muppets right?
Or is that just something my brain made up?
Last time I saw this post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at the second Eggman
Last time I saw this
post (YESTERDAY) it stopped at
the second Eggman
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
anyone in this thread smoke weed
In Leo the Lion (2005) a lion and elephant have the most cursed hybrid children and I think yall should see them
(also Matt Mercer voices the villain, Maximus Elefante and I think that’s very important)
I think that what they are talking about is perfectly clear.
Amogus
World Heritage Post
Is and continues to be my favorite dance video. Dude’s so unexpectedly fluid.
> High score! What happened? Did i break it?
> You don’t see too many YouTube videos from 2005..
Weird to think that was almost a 10 years ago.
i think this is my favorite video of all time. ive been utterly enamored with it for years – i really believe it captures such a genuine, delightful aspect of humanity and culture from the 2000s, and its so fun to watch!!
I could tell instantly from the way he was positioned on the bar that this video was going to showcase some serious skill. I was nonetheless cometely unprepared for what happened.
The DDR bros from the early 2000s will always have a soft spot in my heart
"make an account to-"
Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.
From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.
Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.
Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!
Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?
Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!
Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!
Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!
Mulan: Look-
Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!
[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]
Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.
Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.
Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.
Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?
Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.
Shang: are women better at fighting than us.
Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.
Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.
Chien Po: Real shortage of men.
Ling: Lots of women, though.
Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.
Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.
Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.
Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?
Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.
Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?
Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?
BONUS:
Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].
Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.
Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

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when i forget to log into ao3 and i have to click proceed to see an adult fic, i actually get a kick out of it. like i am an old timey queen and my bard is apologetic: “gentle lady, dicks doth touch in this next ballad. would you prefer another?” and i give him a gesture of command like, “nay, you may proceed, minstrel. bring forth the tale of dicks”
This post is so old I almost forgot why I think “proceed with the tale of dicks” every time I click on it now
imagine how i felt the other day when i tried to get into ao3 on a new device and blithely thought, “ha, i think i saw a tumblr post about this once.”
Landscaping