Pepperoni Appreciation Blog

we're having sex and you pull out at the end to discover your cock is entirely gone, dissolved (ive digested it like a pitcher plant). bye!

You'd unfollow me for my pitcher plant pussy post? After the beautiful night we shared???

WASNT A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT. PESIS IS GONE.

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

*hits the joint* In the Harry Potter universe, Merlin is canonically a Hogwarts alumni and a Slytherin, which is impossible because Merlin predates the existence of Hogwarts by centuries. Of course, JK Rowling didn’t know that because she is a dumb bitch. I’m sorry. Misogynistic phrasing. She is a willfully ignorant and hateful, deeply unlikable and ill-informed, untalented and unspeakably cruel…..person. Seriously, how could you write a series about British wizards without truly understanding THE British wizard. Anyway, Merlin would never be able to attend any sort of organized schooling. He’s definitely self-taught in every universe because he’s the most powerful wizard ever AND he’d have been expelled from any institution before he stepped through the door. The only reason they haven’t escorted him away from Camelot is because he can see the future and he is kind of like the king’s dad. I was so disappointed by BBC Merlin. I turned it on and I was like “What the fuck is this shit, where is my perverted old man?”

Wait he is a wizard? In the translation into my language of BBC's Merlin they called him a sorcerer.

BBC Merlin writers did not give a fuck about anything.

I fully expected to keep scrolling and see a dissertation reply as to the differences between wizards and sorcerers, with a conclusion as to why it is either acceptable or insulting to use them interchangeably in translation.

Nah if they cared about stuff like the difference between wizards and sorcerers they’d probably have added Catholics to the story. They where just doin whatever on that show

Do you think Grace sees Rocky stretch one day on the Hail Mary and he says out loud without thinking “biiiggg stretch!” And Rocky is like “what’s big stretch mean. Question? Why Grace say that?” And Grace has to explain that humans have furry creatures they keep as pets and whenever they stretch, humans say that and Rocky remembers it. It becomes a problem when Grace is stretching and he hears Rocky say “Grace do biiiiggg stretch. Statement.”

I love how in the first book that Frank initially told Carl he worked for ICE and that is one of the first big signals to the reader that he’s an untrustworthy asshole.