Personal Blog

You WILL be racist. You WILL do racist things. You have ALREADY done both. Learn and move on. There's no ideological purity you can hold on to, i promise. Proving you can take the criticism without making it a big deal and practice what you preach is better than any clean slate.

tumblr why are you still banning trans women and transfems every day without reason? why are intersex people's blogs being censored just for existing? why are you marking so many queer experience blogs as mature or full on deleting them? why are you banning trans people in general for making one wrong move but letting the thousands of porn bots that steal real people's nudes stay?

why are so many sfw images of queer people labeled a threat but literal sex images/videos keep showing up unwanted on my fyp? half or more not having a single tag on it for me to filter. why are those who send death threats and harassment campaigns always getting to keep their blogs way longer than the countless queer people who didn't break tos?

is the colourful tags an apology? is the silly rainbow heart meant to make us happy like car keys jingling? you use our colours and identies but never treat us like real people. tumblr?

Part of socializing and having friends is being a good listener even when you don't actually give a shit about the subject.

Your are hurting other people's feelings when you bluntly respond with "Anyway..." and then change the topic.

It can not always be about your preferred topic.

if you'd rather buy a plushie - here's the shop he and his wife run!

his wife also been in an accident and has been down and out due to illness and injury

ppal + gfm + site shop

(From the abstract to Carlo Sariego’s paper “Transfeminist pregnancy: reproductive speculation, genre, and desire”)

1. I realized I was queer when I was in middle school, around 2008.

2. My father was a Republican and both my parents were southern Baptists.

3. I was financially dependent on my parents who had never ever reacted well to me showing any kind of difference of opinion, autonomy, or disobedience.

So I was very used to lying about things I had done or hadn't done to avoid getting out of "trouble" which usually consisted of being screamed at until I cried, pushed around physically, or otherwise verbally harassed.

Not once did it ever cross my mind to tell my parents jack shit. Not about my queerness, not about my therianthropy, and not about my plurality later on. I was, in fact, forcibly outed as queer by my extended family in 2011, who sent screenshots of my AVEN posts to both my father and my mother who had since been divorced, and social services was called.

I mean this so genuinely. Even if the most unpleasant consequence of coming out is invalidation, awkward situations or arguments, if you think your parents won't react well, you should wait until you are financially and physically independent to tell them anything. And even then you don't have to! My mom knows about the full extent of my queerness now, but I will likely never tell her about the fact that I left Christianity over a decade ago or that we're plural. I enjoy the relationship we have now and I don't need to complicate it by introducing concepts that will upset her. I will never tell the rest of my family about these things either because it just isn't worth the hassle.

I thought I would be content with my relationship with my parents if I hid everything I knew wouldn’t be safe. But for me, that ended up being too hurtful. I was too hypervigilant, constantly feeling unsafe, and a lot of it stemmed from the fact that (even though, by this time, I was financially independent and stable) they raised me to be dependent on them.

The real light in my heart came when I realized that I could either spend my life roiling in trying to keep my secrets from my parents, or I could stop caring and just introduce them to who I am. I came out (and it was messy, and they did everything in their power to ruin it for me) and… it genuinely was the best choice of my life.

Did they react badly? Yes! Have I now cut them off? Absolutely.

But it also was what it took for me to finally feel safe, and like myself.

So. Do what you have to do. If you feel you need to, then sometimes it’s better to do so — particularly if it’s what you need in order to let go.

(Internalized) misogyny taught us that we were, by nature of our biology, inferior and limited as to what we would be able to do in life. That our brains were just wired differently, our bodies too small and weak, our minds too fragile to even be able to be equal to men, much else be men/embody masculinity.

Not only that, many of us were also taught things like that body hair makes us look unhygienic and disgusting when we naturally grew it on our bodies, or at a certain age that we should be terrified to leave the home without make-up on and with as much as a little patch of leg or armpit or facial hair visible. Some of us were even taught that our worth as a human being was stored in our attractiveness to straight men and if they didn't want to fuck us, we were nothing.

To be able to overcome that and prove that you are indeed just as capable of being masculine/a man as any cis man and to make the decision to make yourself big, strong, hairy and unfuckable in the eyes of straight men and to be confident and take up space, that takes courage, and a lot of unlearning.

The Amur Leopard and Clouded Leopard (which recently celebrated its 50th cub born at the zoo!)

The Sumatran Tiger

The Red Ruffed Lemur and Ring-Tailed Lemur

The Cotton-Top Tamarin and White-Cheeked Gibbon

The Colobus Monkey and De Brazza’s Monkey

And the Mexican Spider Monkey!

The trans community has a specific type of transphobia towards nonbinary people who were assigned male at birth, and that is forcing womanhood onto them posed as purification or salvation.

The reverse, forcing nonbinary people assigned female into the man role, also exists, but it's frequently done with open hatred (e.g. "those they/thems are actually men trying to sneak into women's spaces") and therefore it has been called out by several people I interact with.

The former, not so much.

Many tend to see misgendering of someone amab towards womanhood as fundamentally benevolent or unserious. Real people develop new kinds of dysphoria and quit trans spaces because of that, including some of my acquaintances, but it's all seen as accidental collateral damage for the noble goal of making more women discover themselves.

"But what if you're denying a closeted self hating trans woman a chance to be called a woman" is seen as a more valid argument than the distress being actively done to people of other genders, and it's fucking bonkers.

I refuse to keep centering non-abinary* perspectives in this conversation.