Maple Writes

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I am at a place where I'm not going to try to lie or cover up the fact that 2025 was a hard year. Like I told one of my friends, this year kinda sucked. And he laughed and said, yeah, yeah, it kinda did.

But that doesn't mean there weren't good things. And that doesn't mean I'm not going to celebrate every good thing that happened.

I opened the new year giggling and staying up late with my brother. WE GOT SEVEN INCHES OF SNOW THAT STAYED FOR A WHOLE WEEK! I played in the snow with my dog and little brother and we built a snowman in the middle of the night. I finalized my first poetry collection complete with illustrations by one of my best friends. I wrote lyrics for a song I am actually very proud of about the world. I SAW MY VERY FIRST BALLET and it was beautiful! One of my best friends came to visit! A friend took graduation pictures for me and my little brother. Finally talked my brother into watching The Fantastic Mr. Fox and Treasure Planet. I made cinnamon crunch scones. I went to my first work conference and worked my ass off but also had fun. My best friend and practically little sister flew down for graduation season!! MY LITTLE BROTHER GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL! My best friend and I choreographed dances and sang karaoke and put together a brand new Taylor Swift medley just like we did when we were kids. <2 I got to go back to my college town and show it off to my family and best friend. I GRADUATED WITH ALL MY FRIENDS! I went to my major's graduation party and said goodbye to my wonderful professors. I threw a little graduation party of my own and invited everyone to come over and have snacks and sign a yearbook I made for myself. I PUBLISHED MY FIRST POETRY BOOK! I went to my friend's wedding. I ran a STEAM Camp at work. I spent the 4th of July watching Hamilton with my brother and my dog. I helped complete my brother's first DnD campaign and made stickers out of the silly things they said. I got a Dropout subscription. I reconnected with a girl from high school who moved away and I love so freaking much. I actually started drawing again a little. I started going to the public library. I shared my trauma play with a friend and he had the best notes. My brother started college. I commissioned art of my characters for the first time. I cut off about 6 inches of hair. I got back on pointe. I visited two of my best friends and had such a calm, quiet two weeks. I went to my brother's first fencing competition. I perfected my at home taco recipe. I MADE GELATO. I wore a gorgeous dress, went out for Thai food, and had a very simple but loving birthday. I started going to therapy. I created an amazing Halloween costume-- including making my own mask (I was Kevin from Up.) I saw a local play my friends were in. I went on another work trip and had an amazing time in the city with my mom. I got to see some cousins I haven't seen in a decade. My brother finally got into Stranger Things, just in time to watch Season 5 with me. I had the loveliest Thanksgiving. My whole family went to see Wicked: For Good in theaters. I drove down to the beach to see a friend and her family. I had a shopping day out with my Nanny. I made gingerbread cookies! Two of my friends sent me the sweetest Christmas gift. I sent out holiday postcards. I had a really great Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my family and grandparents. My brother and I both got each other Arcane gifts. I will end the year watching the Stranger Things finale with my little brother and the knowledge that I will be texting my friends about it immediately after. We will stay up as long as we like, giggling into the night.

I danced when I had the energy to and and tried to give myself grace when I didn't. I wrote a lot of poetry. I met my reading goal of 100 books for the first time in 5 years. I called my friends more than I ever would've felt comfortable doing in the past and I'm getting better at reaching out. I got into new music and new musicals. I loved the same things I always have and I fell in love with new things, too.

The hard days were lonely and the lonely days were long, but I worked hard to make this year be different. I am not alone. And just because things are hard, just because some things are bad, does not mean that the good was not there. That the love was not there.

I will sign off as I did in my letters to my friends, adding in a message from my friend: We have made it through this year together! May 2026 be gentle and soft and full of good things! Here's to a better year for all of us! We're gonna be okay and listen to a lot of good music and make a lot of cool things! And no matter what, we're gonna do it together.

All my love,

paranoia

control freakism

sense of self-worth so low that it loops back around into being totally dismissive of everyone else

a warm-hearted kind center beneath 200 protective walls of bitterness that doesn't actually make the bitterness better in any way at all even a little bit

bisexuality

crushing feelings of responsibility

zero understanding of own bodily autonomy that bleeds out and affects how they treat others

a lil petty vindictive sadism they maybe don't wanna look at too hard or acknowledge

full self-awareness of all their most negative traits without working to fix those traits at all

internalized misogyny

a mysterious undefinable hunger that cannot / should not / must not ever be sated

If you don't read books: Read a book. Read any book. Read a book you loved when you were a kid. Read a book that interests you now. Read an entire collection of poetry or essays and think about why the author or editor arranged those works in that order. Read an erotic novel. Read nonfiction. Read graphic novels or manga. Read a kids' chapter book or a YA novel. Read a book digitally. Read a book on paper. Read an audiobook and really focus on it - if you notice yourself spacing out, scroll back to the last words you remember and try listening again. Read any book. And then when you finish it, celebrate for a minute (get those endorphins going!) and then read another one.