Smitten by Mittens & Bitten by Kittens

man like. being lgbt kind of ruins time with relatives in a very specific way that cishets will never truly experience. like family time can be rough tm but theres a special brand of discomfort that lgbt people face and it’s kinda wild

It’s the specific feeling of “these people’s love is entirely conditional, and I know exactly what the conditions are, and one day I’m gonna have to bite the bullet and come out and none of these people will love me anymore”. It’s not a feeling cishet ppl experience for obvious reasons.

Even with family that Accepts You tm, theres always this level of “I can only talk about being gay so much before it gets Uncomfortable. I cant actually talk about dating bc someone will look like they ate a raw lemon whole eventually until I’m told I’m oversharing and then conversation will turn to Perfect Cousin with her Perfect Husband and When Are We Going To See Babies? Are they trying? How often? And just….its annoying that it still has to be Rough tm when u do come out and for the most part ur still loved an accepted, but u cant actually talk about it too much, even in the sense of Finding Someone or Boo Evil Politics bc ppl will STILL get visibly uncomfortable

also when you’re trans, you get the We Love You And Accept You ™️, but they still misgender you like every sentence and if you have the audacity to remind them of your correct pronouns, then you’re Attacking Them, no matter how gently you point it out

The very specific capitalization in this post is a literal work of art.

me, getting chased around my house by a murderer: alexa play what’s new scooby doo by simple plan

harry potter au where dumbledore is replaced by ron swanson

“Son, did you or did you not place your name in this stupid fire cup?”

“Welcome back to school, children. This year, your Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher will be this woman from the Ministry of Magic. Why the government is interfering in the affairs of a private institution is beyond me. If you have any complaints, please do not bring them to me. End of speech.”

“Sir, why did Voldemort want to kill me?” “There was some stupid prophecy made that you would defeat him. I do not believe in prophecies. He did and now he’s dead. Learn something from that.”

Oh these are FUN. Thanks for making this table!

They better have Michael Cera kill Thanos

@abouttwocats dude……

past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare

Wouldiwas Shookspeared

delete this

tattletales are lawful evil

Yes, Kevin, I brought my Game Boy to school. Did it bring you joy when you told the teacher? Did it satisfy your bloodlust when she confiscated it from me? You are no paragon of virtue. You are a beast. A vile monstrosity who feeds on suffering. The laws of man may celebrate your deeds, but higher powers may say otherwise.

There’s no text here and it still manages to make a very compelling argument.