Da Ba De Da Ba Die~

a horrifying amalgam of multiple shattered frames, put together Frankenstein-style, and held together by the Void

source: @wordsmithic / wordsmithic on insta

I watched the movie myself (ahoy mates) and I gave it much less grace. I have some things to add.

For example, something I didn't like was that the guy speaking Greek was (accidentally, I think) made to look like a Barbarian to the foreign audience, even though he was the only ethnic Greek in the scene! Most viewers still don't understand or want to accept (because of his skin color) that this is how Greeks look.

Something else that seemed strange to me was that Helen had a twin (which meant she was no longer the most beautiful woman in the land!?!?), and that Menelaos gave her a scar as punishment. Menelaos, who, in the ancient text, took her back without hurting her, and the gods rewarded him for his restraint! So now we are adding more abuse against ancient Greek women. So feminist!

The scene with Argos' death was so brief and unimpactful that I felt NOTHING!!! The execution of this scene was a crime!!! 😭

The audio... Guys... the audio!! It was extremely loud! I have a half-deaf friend and his ears were in PAIN during the showing in a local IMAX cinema!

But maybe the biggest crime of it all was that it was bland and boring. I am the type of person who doesn't mind a whole helicopter landing over Troy for the metamodern flavor of it, IF it is set up correctly. I think a random helicopter would have improved Nolan's snoozefest, actually.

There is nothing wrong with the actors chosen, the only problem I have is that they have been used over and over and over again. Hollywood has no diversity. It’s getting tiring.

Helen is a black woman? Fine, that’s the least I’m concerned about. Greece isn’t full of just white people. A dark skinned Greek woman would’ve also fit the role.

I think the movie just suffers from overdramatizing. Let’s be honest, Homer wrote so many plots and characters it was hard to keep up. Nolan condensed and got rid of a few things to make it simpler. Which, fine, I can understand, but I do agree some crucial parts were taken away.

I will give praise where it is due, the cinematography was astounding. I can praise the scenes with all real boats and battle. I don’t mind personally much about the weather changes since it’s a mythological epic, there was Scylla and a Cyclops so I’m not going to complain about ‘realism’ much.

I can see arguments for several of them but I’m forcing you to choose

1) The customer is always wrong