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Horses exist in zoos, you're pretty sure. That's where they, more or less, belong. It's not like there's a stable next to the auto shop or something. Are there… wild horses? In… nature? Presumably, at some point, there must have been. Probably not, anymore.
Oh, the race tracks, though. Duh. They probably have stables. Couldn't lose twenty thousand wen a day if there weren't losing horses to bet on.
Horses don't belong at the gas station, but there's one here anyways. Its rider is wearing a leather jacket studded with old military medals; what looks like a torso-sized cogwheel, slung over her back like a shield; a broadsword, underneath the cog-shield; and a pair of holo-screen shades.
She dismounts. She slides her card through the machine. The pumps start pumping. The horse sticks out its neck, dips its snout, and begins drinking gasoline directly from the nozzle. The rider holds the spout up to the horse's mouth, at a bit of an awkward angle.
She meets your eyes, and shrugs. You know how it is.
You don't know how it is. Later, you will see her on the news, clotheslining a police officer on horseback at seventy miles per hour. You will understand even less, and also, so much more.
You’re a regular office worker born with the ability to “see” how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7. Today, you notice the reserved new guy at the office measures a 10.
You decide it’s best to find out what you can about this person. Cautiously, you approach his desk. He’s a handsome man, tall, but with a disarming smile. How could such a friendly guy with such cute, dorky glasses be dangerous?
You extend your hand. “I noticed you’re new here. What’s your name?”
He shakes your hand warmly. His gaze is piercing, as if he’s looking right through you. “The name’s Clark,” he says. “So, how long have you worked for the Daily Planet?”
It’s been a few weeks, and one of Clark’s friends shows up. She’s pretty and all, enough muscle that she must work out. First thought would be that she should be maybe a 6.
Clark’s introducing her around. “This is my good friend, Diana, she’s in from out of town.”
You blink, and take a step back in fear. You’ve never seen an 11 before.
The day Bruce Wayne shows up for his long promised interview with Lois Lane, you can’t help it, the mug your holding drops from your fingers and sends a shock of hot coffee and ceramic shards across the floor.
Clark stops a few feet away and squints at you worriedly from behind those ridiculous glasses you’re 99% sure he doesn’t actually need, and asks tentatively, “Everything all right?”
You ignore him in favor of staring at the inky dark numerals hovering over the beaming fool gesticulating some fantastic yacht story for a gaggle of secretaries and minor columnists.
That’s it. Your gift has officially gone haywire. There is no other explanation. Because there is absolutely no way that Brucie Wayne is a 10.
At this point, you’ve seen it all. Miled manner reporters and billionaires at a 10 and a model-like woman at 11. You were really starting to doubt your power. The day you really stopped believeing in it was when Bruce Wayne came for another visit, and this time with a kid. The kid couldn’t be more than 10 years old, a bit on the short side.
The day you started believing in it again was when you saw on tv the formation of something called the justice league.
There were those same numbers over superman, batman, wonder woman and robin. That’s when you put two and two together. You wonder how nobody at the daily planet noticed that Clarke was Superman with glasses. You wonder why you didn’t notice. You wonder why nobody put two and two together that Diana Prince and Wonder Woman looked exactly the same. You look in the mirror as the realization hit you and you see your own number change from a 3 to a 9.
from Ghost Boy, the first song in The Civility of Albert Cashier; a trans-produced musical about Civil War soldier Albert Cashier who fought for the Union and lived most of his life as a man until he was outed in old age and forcibly detransitioned. Young Albert is played by actor Dani Shay (they/them) and the music was done in part by musician Joe Stevens (he/him). The entire show can be watched (without captions; the captions in the above video were added by me) here.
sorry i can't ever shut up about this musical but this show is a foundational text in transmasc studies. to me.
these lyrics from the above song ("Ghost Boy"):
Take me away
to a place
where I'm not strange,
and I'm not alone.
The world's not safe
and I am afraid
at the end of today
I know I'm on my own
and I'm never going home.
always fucking hit. tell me this doesn't strike at the heart of so much transmasc pain. (more lyrics under the cut)
and there's also a scene between Albert and his cis male love interest, Jeffrey, who loves Albert in a gay way but proposes that he detransition so that they can live together as a married couple after finding out Albert is trans. and there's a heartbreaking song ("The Perfect Home") where Albert is refusing the offer and trying to explain that to the man he loves that he simply cannot give up his life as a man, even if it would be easier and safer and allow them to be together:
Jeffrey:
We could have children -
Albert:
God, Jeff!
Jeffrey:
Teach them to stand up and live free
I'd keep your secret,
No one would know but you and me
Albert:
But that isn't free
Jeffrey:
But you'd be with me
Albert:
It's not my dream
Jeffrey:
But don't you see?
Albert:
Don't you see me?
and this is followed by another song in which Albert considers the life ahead of him & finds meaning and hope in choosing himself and his freedom:
Could I be satisfied
To live someone else's life
It doesn't feel right
And I don't know why
Deep in the heart of me
I know what I believe
To live as I want is a sacrifice
It's quite a mountain to climb
But I gotta try [...]
Like a cloud has been lifted here
I can see it all so clear
I don't want to disappear
But I can't live a lie
Goodbye
(also, there is the song "Excuse Me, Sir" which is about Jeffrey looking for Albert after he was taken by Confederates, and him slowly realizing that the feelings he has for his Brave Handsome Smart Boy Best Friend are, in fact, romantic love)
& then there is the song "Woman to Woman" which is set when Albert is aging and has been outed, and is now on trial. the cis nurse who has been targeting him, and iirc outed him, comes to speak to him in private. she's trying to convince him to admit his male identity is a mental illness and willingly detransition, threatening that if he doesn't he will be institutionalized. she projects her own experiences under patriarchy onto him, insisting that if she wasn't allowed to become a doctor, he shouldn't be allowed to get away with (what she sees as) trying to escape the burden of womanhood. which to me anyone interested in cis woman/trans man dynamics should watch that scene/song.
Nurse Smith:
Who cares about the truth? Do you know what happens when we don't fit in? We suffer. We fall out of step. I did my work, I followed the rules, and so must you
Albert:
Are you happy?
Nurse Smith:
Life isn't about being happy. We must submit, accept the pain. Now I'm asking you, one last time
Albert:
I'd rather die for the truth than live a lie like you
Nurse Smith:
I see.
You're undone at the stitch,
You ungrateful old bitch!
I'm not here to be scolded by you
I have stated my mind
And I think you will find
That the world won't be kind
To you.
and then. well. the penultimate song is "Breathe. Walk. Home." which is about Albert's final moments, having been forcibly transitioned (and eventually dying as a direct result of this, due to an injury he got from being forced to walk in dresses after a lifetime of wearing pants). and we see him have a conversation with his younger self, while wondering if he wasted his life trying to be a man:
Old Albert:
I don't recognize what I see
That person there, that's not me
I lived my life the way that I -
The way that I saw fit
This isn't it!
This isn't it
Where's the world I used to know? [...]
Old Albert (to reflection):
What did you do?
Young Albert:
I survived. I lived my truth.
Old Albert:
How did you know?
I didn't know, I just kept moving.
What else could I do?
Both:
What else can you do?
Old Albert:
They took my name -
Young Albert:
They can't take your name
Old Albert:
They took all that I owned -
Young Albert:
Let them take what they want
No, they can't take your soul
Old Albert:
But if you're old like me
You've lived long enough to know
Both:
We can't ever go home
We can't ever go home
There's some battles you face
And there's some where you run
You must fight all your days
It's not done 'til it's done.
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The fun thing about finnish is that the way you ask for things in a polite way has been in-baked into the suffixes you use, so you don't have to use many words when few do trick. Like asking someone "could you give me [-]" is "voisitko antaa" in written and some variation of "voisiksä antaa" in spoken dialects*, but instead of asking "could you", the polite polite way to ask is "haluaisitko", not as can you, but would you want to. The tone distinction is so clear that asking someone "could you [do thing]" instead of "would you want to [do thing]" is less of a polite request and more of instruction - someone's gotta do it, and the task is being assigned to you.
On the other hand, dropping out the conditional out of the question turns the tone into a passive-aggressive threat. If someone tells you "stop that" as an imperative, "lopeta", that's a command. Asking in conditional, could you stop that, "voisitko lopettaa" is a polite request. "Haluaisitko lopettaa", would you like to stop that, is so polite that depending on the tone it might be sarcastic politeness that indicates hostility.
But asking someone "do you want to stop that", "haluatko lopettaa tuon" is a matter of "do you want to stop doing that voluntarily, or do you want me to stop you." By physical force, if necessary.
* the different form varies depending on what first and second person pronouns are used in the specific dialect. This is a whole another rabbit hole so for shortcut I'm doing the examples in the southern finnish dialect that I have grown up speaking
Since I use it a bunch in my speech, I also want to shout out "viitsisitkö antaa". I don't think there's a proper english word to translate it with, but the closest approximation of the meaning is "could you be bothered to give me" - however while the tone of the translation could easily be read as passive aggressive, if you're just saying it politely, it moreso has this tone of, like... "if you would be so inclined I'd appreciate it".
Which sounds like pretty dramatic appeasement behaviour when I write it out like that but it's also just a nice, polite request, pretty much on par with the "haluaisitko".
You can certainly say "you wouldn't happen to have a [thing] that I could borrow?" in english, too, but I do like how in finnish, the latter half of the sentence is not stated out loud, just implied. You don't word that question like that unless you're asking whether you could borrow it. Which also gives the other person the opportunity to soft launch a "no" by pretending to not notice the implied part. So a conversation can go two ways, it's either:
"Hey wou wouldn't happen to have a hammer?" [Can I borrow your hammer?]
"Yeah, what do you need it for?" [You can. What are you working on?]
Or it can go like this:
"Hey wou wouldn't happen to have a hammer?" [Can I borrow your hammer?]
"I do own one, yes." [I am ignoring your implied request. Whatever you want to borrow it for, I don't want to let you.]
"Can I borrow it?" [I am ignoring your implied rejection. I need to borrow it.]
"What do you need it for?" [I will not let you have it unless I know what you want to do and approve of it.]
I don't know how much of this kind of thing is just finnish culture, though, and how much of it is just how neurotypical people universally talk. But the implication waltz is definitely a big part of finnish conversation style.
Circling back to the conditionals - you can also tack the conditional right onto the verb you want someone to do, without the "would you like to/could you/could you be bothered to"
It's a little bit more blunt and thus arguably a little less nicely said, but at least to my ear and my experience, still polite enough to be used in most contexts without coming across as rude. I'd maybe assign it a bit more urgency than a corresponding phrase with the polite preamble, though it's a fairly slight difference so the tone of voice matters a lot and they could be used interchangeably in some contexts
but like i feel like to me, "Voisiksä viedä roskat?" ("Could you take out the trash?" featuring "could you" as a separate word by itself) reads as I would like this done soon and will probably be mad if it's not at least done sometime today, but if you're in the middle of something you can wrap that up in peace, while saying "Veisiksä roskat?" ("Would you take out the trash") is Unless you're actively doing something very important and urgent, I would like you to get up and go do what I'm asking right now without delay.
or likewise, "Haluaisko joku hei ettiä...?" ("Hey, would someone like to find me...[thing xyz]?") reads as I'd like someone here to get me that at their earliest convenience, while "Ettiskö joku hei...?" ("Hey, would someone find me...[thing]?") can come across a bit as a If this is not done right this minute, I will be mad about it.
Also, to toss in another polite word to start the request with - "Ehtisitkö", ie, would you have time to. It can be used in the literal sense, but a lot of time I'd classify it as just existing to make the request polite rather than actually asking if someone has the time to do it, the same way as any of the rest
Gotta tell you guys something wild in the Chinese fan sphere
So some fanartist drew a “sexy” (read: booby) version of a (cartoon) character who is traditionally very non-sexualised. Fans of the character got mad about it because it’s kind of groundbreaking how that character is written and portrayed and this art totally ignores the entire point of the character. They demanded the art be deleted. In response to that other people said, well what the fanartist did may be distateful but they have every right to draw what they’re into. The two sides fight for days and each starts a harassment campaign and even report their “opponents’” accounts.
So far so typical. But things eventually come to a head and they decide that this will be settled by votes - not through a poll. Through donations to a children’s education charity via each side’s portal. Whoever can get the highest amount of donation wins.
And that is how this charity received over 1 million in donations in three days lol. Oh btw the “freedom of expression” side won by a landslide (960k to 40k)
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If you use an e-reader and want to immerse yourself in the classics of literature that are in the public domain, I highly recommend doing so via Standard E-Books
https://standardebooks.org/
Unlike the free e-books you may have downloaded from Amazon or other marketplaces that are full of formatting errors and typos, these are meticulously corrected and use all the proper typographical marks.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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