@ofahumanbean On Twitter

anyone else notice how when "digital assistants" were just supposed to do specific tasks when you asked for them we had Alexa and Siri and Cortana, but now that they're being marketed as smart enough to take actions and make decisions on their own they've got names like Claude and Devin

why do men have this eternal fear of being used for money they don’t have lol

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

its like ive never seen herbivore

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

Mario: Die! Die! Die! All of you, DIE!

"Love/sex is what makes us human" Wrong. It's the obsession with rectangles. look around you and count the number of rectangles you see.

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

Convergent evolution.

Linguistic crab

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

it is absolutely essential to have friends you can have extremely insane pervert conversations with. this is kind of what makes life worth living

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

.jpg stands for .jolly pig

oftentimes two guys who want to fuck each other not fucking each other is hotter than if they fucked each other

pulling yourself up by your strap-on or whatever they say

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.