M4GPIEs

can't take these two anywhere

base under the cut snip snip

kris cross applesauce and berdly blueberry

Today's Nonbinary Character Is:

Kris Dreemur from Deltarune!

- Had zero stations for water on the 26 mile (42 km) course

- Accidentally gave North American competitor Tom Hicks a cocktail made of egg whites, brandy, and actual fucking rat poison

- Had a guy come into the race late wearing a beret and cutoff slacks, sneak into an apple orchard during the race because no food had been given to him for 40 hours, eat rotten apples, projectile vomit onto the track, fall asleep for hours, and finish in fourth place OVERALL because most of the other runners collapsed of exhaustion or injuries

- Conducted the race on a dusty road, which caused so much dust to be kicked into the air that an American runner somehow inhaled enough to tear his STOMACH LINING open

- Accidentally released feral dogs onto the track

the poison was so bad (it caused muscle spasms and would suffocate you by spasming your lungs) that even rats didn’t eat it

the most common cure for the poison is water

the track was open so cars and pedestrians could come along

Two of the contestants competing for South Africa most likely escaped from the 1904 world fair

there was one well on the track. The well was unclean and caused many contestants to get sick

the no 1 most likely to win disappeared in the first quarter of the race to be found by a random person coughing up blood

one man hitched a ride to the finish and got first only to be found out as tom came through the finish line