inside me there are two lungs. and one liver. one stomach. a few meters of intestine. there's a lot inside me actually
this is the funniest thing i've read all day
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@lux-lost
inside me there are two lungs. and one liver. one stomach. a few meters of intestine. there's a lot inside me actually
this is the funniest thing i've read all day

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Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.
The most delicious food in the world is protected by tiny demons who can defend it from everyone except you. Your natural armor is thick enough that you can just eat the damn hive while they buzz around you. God's chosen animals right there
Regular bears tell stories of angel bears sent by the Bear God, pure white and twice as strong as any normal bear could be, who rule the summit of the Earth and kill all who stand in their path.
And they are right, those bears exist and totally do that. Humans just have fake angels as a cope.
love the idea of bears being the chosen species actually. having a near death experience and glimpsing heaven and realising it's just full of bears, no humans at all, humans not ensouled actually, humans an accidental byproduct of God's plan for bears
I understand that people do this because it's easier to write but I honestly think we need to stop saying "amab" and "afab" and start writing them out in full more often. better yet, bring back the c. "coercively assigned male at birth" and "coercively assigned female at birth". people have gotten way too comfortable latching onto the m or f and using them as shorthand for "male" and "female" even though the point of these terms has always been to highlight that sex is something that you are assigned at birth and coerced into performing. it's not a neutral observation about a baby's genitalia, it's an active assignment that is forced upon you against your will the moment you're born, before you're even capable of understanding the words being used to make that assignment
this may be my age showing but I am a passionate supporter of wires. earbuds? put a leash on those things. wireless keyboard? no, it needs to hold hands with the computer. the ps5 controller I forgot to charge has the staying power of a wealthy nonagenarian with a much younger wife and 14 life insurance policies, but the controller plugged into my pc? that baby will outlive my bloodline. my ethernet cable is like a son to me.
Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: itβs just so beautiful
The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say
Me, sniffling: I didnβt realize, I canβt, itβs so much, I, Iβ¦ are the chips good, at least?
Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: theyβreβ¦ magical, strange traveler

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Angel girl who gets transformed into an imp. She does engage in mischief, but she keeps her halo because her forms of mischief involve thing like "neatly arranging all the cups from the cupboard onto your nightstand", "folding your clothes and neatly putting them away inside out", or "replacing all your handsoaps with ones that kill more bacteria but don't smell as nice."
She's truly the pinnacle of neat, respectful, slightly inconvenient mischief.
I only identified as a lesbian for a very brief period but straight girls do this realllllly bizarre thing where they ask you if you have a crush on them or who you think the hottest girl in a certain group is and get offended if you say no or refuse to answer. Itβs like walking on a tightrope over a lake of fire, there is no good answer to give. Inside, you know if you were to say βYes, I think youβre very attractive, Iβm into you.β they would definitely weaponize that against you or treat you like a perv but if you say βNo, youβre not my type, Iβm not interested in you.β they act soooooooo wounded. And Iβm sure some straight girls who do this are not entirely straight and were interested in feeling me out but I do think there are a lot of straight girls who do this as some form of power play. Anyway, it was so weird. And they have the audacity to act like lesbians are sexually inappropriate bullies.
ok this is gonna be really beautiful So there are THREE colors of cats in one gene. Black (BB), Chocolate (bb), and Cinnamon (blbl) Black in this situation is dominant. Black passes on most easily, but it can carry chocolate or cinnamon recessively (Bb, Bbl) Chocolate may also carry cinnamon, which is the most recessive (bbl) Now, you may have heard this and gone "But what about orange cats?" Orange is its OWN thing!!! A male cat can be Red/Ginger (XOY). However! There is a sex difference! When a female cat is Red, she has the (XOXO) gene! this means she loves you! This is because cats carry red through the X chromosome! As such, female cats can be TORTIES!!! They are allowed two different colors while male cats are not! The tortie gene is (XOXo) Now, the way this works with the OTHER colors, is that a cat may be RED, and they may also be CINNAMON under the red! red is just THAT dominant! Now!! You may have seen cats who are CREAM!!!! And you may now be asking "Hey man. was this cat red?" And the answer is. yes! A cat can be red, black, chocolate, or cinnamon, and these colors may be LIGHTENED!!!! BY THE DILUTE GENE!!! The dilute gene (dd) is recessive and transforms red into cream, black into blue, chocolate into lilac (so seriously look up lilac cats they are gorgeous), and cinnamon into fawn!!! this gene may be proudly displayed (dd) or carried (Dd) okay you are probably wondering now where white comes in. dont worry about it okay. we come back to white Now!!! The agouti gene!!! this gives them stripes!!! It can either be (aa) which is Normal, (Aa) tabby carrying solids, (AA) straight up tabbying it. These gene is SO super dominant. You may realize you've never seen a RED cat without stripes. This is because ALL red cats have stripes of some kind!!! This is because they are FALSE TABBIES! They are LIARS they have no real stripes! There are TWO kinds of stripes!!! look at me. look at me. theres TWO!!! This will not go well over anon because i cant have pictures but just don't worry about it The first kind!!! Is a MACKEREL tabby. these are the DOMINANT TABBY. They are the ones with M's on their foreheads! Then, there is a CLASSIC tabby!!! These are the ones with the pretty swirls! Isn't that lovely! Okay I lied. theres more than two. There is also the SPOTTED tabby!!! go look this one up. all their stripes are made of a billion little spots. for simplicity this gene is called (SpSp). However! When a cat carries something other than spotted they are BROKEN (Spsp) this is a different also very cool thing. look it up. they have sick af stripes Now. there is another kind of tabby. and theres no others. dont worry about it. this is the ticked tabby! They are often mixed up with the spotted tabby but they ARE different I swear! This is the bigggg awesome (TaTa) gene. (Tata) when the cat carries something else. we all know this
Okay we're almost done. okay? are you feeling good? all done with stripes you are in the final stretch The inhibitor gene!!! This gene will make TABBIES silver. these can mean many things but we're going to worry about ONE OF THEM! In this situation, it will make a gray/black cat a very pretty shade of silver with black stripes. The silver part of the inhibitor gene gives them a very thin layer of silver fur. It is very pretty. To NON tabbies, it makes them SMOKE!!! Their fur becomes a big beautiful gradient. it's magical. it's lovely. THEN!! The COLORPOINT gene!!! the most generic colorpoint I can think of is a Siamese cat. they have the colorpoint gene. The colorpoint gene is a type of albinism that restricts color on the "cool" parts of their body!!! The warm parts (Legs, tail, ears, and face) become DARKER COLORS!!! These can vary from fully white to just a little lighter on the cool parts of their body. FINALLY!!! WE COME TO WHITE!!! you survived the war. White is very complicated. So we're gonna break it down real quick NOT white (no white at all) White paws (JUST white pawsies) 0-50% white (this is what it sounds like) 50-100% white (this is also what it sounds like) Dominant white (100% all the way fully white) No white can carry white paws, 0-50% white can carry white paws, dominant white can carry ANYTHING IT WANTS!!! Anddd finally a cat can either be short hair (LL) short carrying long (Ll) or long (ll) this is how you build a cat. exactly how you build a cat. isn't this all lovely???
THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL. YOU WERE RIGHT. 1. I love the way you talk. you should be a professor if you're not already because I was hanging on to every word and it all stuck in my head after I was finished reading!!! 2. THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT MY FAT MIDDLE AGED SON HAS ONE OF THE RAREST CAT COAT COLOURS????? correct me if I'm wrong but does this Animal possess a lilac coat. is he mr special. the person we bought him from said he was fawn but I'm not so sure....
Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man
reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties
Harrison Wood Hsiang

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Hold on i need to ask my friend Claudia, who is a college student and edits wikipedia something real quick...
THIS IS MY FRIEND CLAUDIA
cannot understand why people like youtubers who are yelling the entire time. why do you let that man raise his voice at you.
The reason why so many of y'all's feminism sucks is because you still believe deep down in your hearts that there are only two kinds of people in the world: precious, ethereal, fragile dollthings called "women", and violent, lustful, rage-fueled apes called "men". Until you throw that idea away, 3rd-grade-tier "girls rule boys drool, girls are princesses and boys are stinky :(" is as feminist as we'll ever get-- and I hope it's obvious that that's lightyears away from the bare minimum of where we need to be.
I don't know how I'm supposed to explain to ostensibly trans-friendly feminists that "women are beautiful soft things made of glass, men are obsessed with violence and sex" is exactly what the patriarchy wants you to believe. Patriarchy wants you to believe that being a woman and/or having a vagina (patriarchy generally believes those two things are synonymous) makes one shatter on impact with reality. It makes you easier to control if you are scared shitless of the other half of the population, and it makes you more compliant with your lot in life if you believe it is in the nature of the other half of the population to rape and kill rather than realise those were choices those individual rapists and murderers made. There is no way to make gender essentialism progressive and feminist, because it is one of patriarchy's tools of subjugation. Stop trying to make it progressive.
And I can scream all of that from the rooftops over and over again, and what I hear in reply is "Trans men really are men because no woman would ever decide to become an inherently evil repugnant rapist ape", and "You're so right. Trans women are women because they too are pretty delicate little objects I can fuck", and "You're non-binary? So are you fucktoy non-binary or sexpest non-binary?", and my patience runs ever thinner.
I think one of the funniest abortion stances I've heard was from my parents neighbor. He's a like, hard-core libertarian viking larper guy who is very tall and very fat and very bald.
He believes a fetus is human with a soul, but also its "basically attacking the woman's body" so if she wants to get rid of it, that's "basically self-defense". He compared it to shooting a home invader. So he supports abortion not as healthcare, but as killing a baby in self-defense
Y'know I'm so glad someone reminded me of this. Because this was also discussed.
My stepmother did NOT like the way her Libertarian Viking Neighbor framed pregnancy as the fetus "attacking the woman". She incredulously told him this was extremely disrespectful to expectant mothers to portray pregnancy as so violent and negative.
Libertarian Viking Neighbor's response was that people consensually hurt each other all the time, and "there's like a whole community about that, with the acronym the one that starts with a B" And his reasoning was that if the mother was consenting to bring attacked by the baby, it in fact wasn't violent and negative because there was consent.
He brought up people consensually hurting each other, didn't go for one of the obvious answers like boxing or body mods or something, no he went STRAIGHT TO BDSM and he DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE ACRONYM
The reason why so many of y'all's feminism sucks is because you still believe deep down in your hearts that there are only two kinds of people in the world: precious, ethereal, fragile dollthings called "women", and violent, lustful, rage-fueled apes called "men". Until you throw that idea away, 3rd-grade-tier "girls rule boys drool, girls are princesses and boys are stinky :(" is as feminist as we'll ever get-- and I hope it's obvious that that's lightyears away from the bare minimum of where we need to be.

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They need to invent a type of exercise that doesn't absolutely fucking suck to do.
As someone who hates exercise and has terrible proprioception these are the only physical activities I've been able to make myself stick to, so here are my recommendations
Swimming. Throw yourself in some water and don't die in it
Martial arts. Throw yourself into combat and don't die in it
Take exactly enough change for one bus trip and get on the bus. Get out a few miles away. Either you get home eventually or you don't
basic fun and sexy way to ask for consent continuously if you're doing play with a dog sub: tell it to bark to ask for more. "speak, puppy!" is a cute continual prompt/command. it makes it easier for it to tell you what it can take without forcing it to use people words/get out of dog space.
impact play? i better get a bark after every hit, or puppy isn't getting any more. i'm railing you? i need to hear you barking your head off or how am i going to know you like it? dogs donβt use human words but that doesn't mean they canβt communicate. speak, puppy