The Lurking Narrator

vulcanette-deactivated20260506

I have the same name as a Weird Al character. I can live with this

the new dj crazytimes song … now that’s what I call music!

vedajuno

allthestarscantfillalifetime

The over-pronunciation of every word is so spot on lol

authortobenamedlater

I lived through it it did indeed be like this

baygeethefirst

Concur

#aaaaaaaaaaah 90s #accurate vibes

themurderscene-deactivated20140

and if you turn to ur left you’ll see the emos

rnyselfie

is that my chemical romance?

penceyprepster-deactivated20160

OH MY GOD not every group of emos is my chemical romance stfu tumblr

chxmical-rxmance

but it actually is my chemical romance

losered

this is the funniest fuckibg thing I’ve ever seen

gay-emo-quotes

I’ve…. seen this everywhere except on Tumblr itself. It’s the blessed post.

#emos #millennial shit #i can't say it's nostalgic but it is distinctively generational humor #Youtube

They never took down this video. It pleases me.

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cyclicalaberration

Okay I don't know if there's a correct place to go looking for resources about. Any of this. But Tumblr is as good a place to ask as any for something both specific and very very broad.

I'm really interested in learning more about specifically north american indigenous textiles and textile production because so many resources discussing textile production and textile history completely disregard north america, but I have no idea where to even begin. I'll go haunt my college library and the city's central library at some point soon, but i'm wondering if anyone knows any interesting resources on native textiles, especially those written by native people, off the top of their heads?

I keep seeing fascinating things being mentioned in passing (Textiles: The Whole story... You're a wonderful book but what do you MEAN you don't even have any photos of the garments you mentioned with the porcupine quills used for emboridery and beadwork that you do not cite a direct source for and DOES NOT APPEAR ONLINE under any search terms) and I am looking for a jumping off point.

#john oliver #last week tonight

Not books, but I'll throw these out there for your viewing pleasure. That first video is produced by Osiyo, a news program from Cherokee Nation in Oklahoma, so I'd consider it a reliable source.

#Youtube

bringthesauerkraut

John Oliver on GH episode 2

This is actually from the teaser for Mondays episode but its just too good to ignore lol.

Anyway John had too much screen time for me to put it all here so if you want to watch the full episode I have uploaded it...

➡️➡️➡️HERE ⬅️⬅️⬅️

Please be kind, I did all this on my phone in a place really not suited to doing so.

yorgen-sh

The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes

scarlettohairdye

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

avananabread

*wheezes*

I love how she keeps getting more and more unhinged. Like ma’am I just need the shoes for the office. 😭

#funny #indestructible shoes #unhinged advertising

json-derulo

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

#and i resent it soooooooo much #experience is not a teacher at all #it is lesson material #and teaching yourself is the blind leading the blind #if you learn anything you're effectively just lucky #it is fully possible to analyze your experience and come to the completely wrong conclusion #happens all the time

Those people are the ones who say "experience is the best teacher," too.

OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?

I JUST

GUAM?

IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM

KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST

“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID

12/27, 8:37PM CT

ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM

12/28, 12:18PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***

12/28, 10:22PM CT

THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY

GO COOKIES GO

@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY

lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and

12/30, 12:39AM CT

@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper

holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS

THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE

The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season

THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP

COOKIES ACQUIRED

homebeccer

THE THRILLING CONCLUSION

also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey

how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes

SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????

AND

IT’S

IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-

I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED

Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks

Its not even an in-game feature

crowreys-wormstache

Oh my god it’s back

H O W

anavar-immela

I’ve had this sort of thing happen.

At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.

#aaaaaaaaaaah the guam cookies #i remember this post #still good #cookies of guam

I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”

No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.

I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.

terrainterrain-pullup

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

offonaherosjourney

Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP

korasonata

Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.

You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.

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As an American I am really tired of capitalism being treated like a whole worldview and practical religion rather than just an economic system.

I am also tired of people hearing that and immediately going "prosperity gospel?" No. No, I am not referring to the fucking prosperity gospel and the evangelicals who think money is a sign that god loves you and you worked really hard.

I am referring to people on Fox News talking about "Market forces" like they're divine and should never be trifled with, and that the "market forces" will things and we must not disagree.

I am talking about the fact that EVERYTHING must be viewed as a business or a market. EVERYTHING. No, dating is not a "market." The people looking for dates are not PRODUCTS. No, they are not independent contractors exchanging sex and household services either. No, government should not be run like a for-profit BUSINESS. It is a GOVERNMENT. it is supposed to serve the people for the public good, not to make a buck.

I am talking about the fact that we can't have a real discussion about capitalism causing any problems, ever, without being accused of communism and told to leave the country because we "clearly" don't like it. That something else must be blamed for whatever negative effects capitalism can have. We can't even talk about regulating it, because it is DIVINE, dammit, DIVINE! How can you dare to regulate the divine market forces? If the Market Forces have willed you homeless and destitute, who are we to question their wisdom?

I am talking about the victim-blaming when consumers get scammed or taken advantage of. It's never the salesman's fault, it's the "idiot" who trusted, believed, or thought they were doing the right thing. It's not the company's fault for marketing their food as healthy when they've barely changed anything. It's the people who bought it when they should know by now only whole foods can ever be healthy. It's not the scammer's fault they stole thousands of dollars pretending to be the bank. You're the idiot who shouldn't have trusted them. Those salesman are just practicing the Divine Rite of Salesmanship. They're just being great salesman. Because they managed to profit off of a shit product or no product at all.

I am talking about the fact people voted for Donald Trump on the grounds that a "Businessman" was going to fix the economy for them. And they interpreted his salesmanship qualities as virtues instead of just attributes. He may be very confident and extroverted but that doesn't make his "service" worth a dried raccoon shit.

Just... for shit's sake.

I wrote a whole screenplay about this that will never get made. But it's so frustrating.

memeuplift

#this is very natural as a children's drawing #it should exist #it is pleasant and needed

spiribia

it's actually sick you get tired of eating the same food over and over when some animals they just eat grass all day mind you. just another pointless challenge mechanic added in by big universe to get you to go to the grocery store

snippybaby

Was literally thinking about this when I gave the rabbits their breakfast, the same dry pellets they get twice a day every day, and they were so hyped for it, as they always are. Why can't I have that where are my pellets #mypellets

The tradeoff is you can survive in different times of famine, because if you only have 1 food source and it disappears you're fucked. But if you can eat multiple things of different varieties, you can find something else and still live.

I realize you probably weren't asking for a real answer but that's basically it. The benefit of being an omnivore...

vintage-tigre

Love can be a home

#bb effnet #elephants

kitsnicket

I don’t like this actually

kitsnicket

This is depressing does anyone else find this depressing