i just loves vinegar!

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha

my mom just had a 7cm brain tumor removed and since she's woken up she's been talking nonstop about this dream she had about going to an art gallery full of colourful paintings by a 'homosexual artist' named klimsdorf who was ethereal and wise, both young and old... at first she was convinced he was a real person but after failing to find him online she's accepted he was a figment of her subconscious mind and is now determined to bring him to life via painting his portrait herself. she's 67 and has never drawn in her life. and now this. blorbo from her tumor

being an executioner used to be an inherited job. imagine dealing with teen angst and also job shadowing your dad the town’s torturer

as a feminist i support recreational abortion

i have mixed feelings about competitive

my long time conspiracy theory is that the huge prevalence of "dead wife" trope is because a lot of writers want their cool male protagonist to be single and/or focused on his goal but don't know how else "justify" him not pursuing women around him sexually or god forbid turn their advances down that is not emasculating in their mind

That one is porple

ID: cartoon of a yellow dog rolling a ginormous tennis ball up a mountain, looking determined. It gets to the top of the mountain and sits there, panting — until the tennis ball starts rolling down the hill, at which point the dog runs chasing after it, looking thrilled. Comic signature is making-friends

your mom is a baked potato your dad's dumb ass is asparagus and you are a god damn green bean

if i was in an alien movie i'd be luring the xenomorph into a hot wok and adding chili, garlic, ginger, shaoxin wine, scallions, white pepper and sesame oil