“I hate to kill her but she sucks,” is a fucking brutal line.

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@loveaniceaes
“I hate to kill her but she sucks,” is a fucking brutal line.

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remember swine flu reblog if ur a tru 2009 kid
the prophecy
i am begging everyone to watch this video right now
HSHDJDJ
Dont avada kedavra the messenger
Why didn’t Trixie wear a wig in this episode??
It’s a costume fitting for all stars 4 since she didn’t really win all stars 3…
you guys really just don’t check your fucking phones huh? you don’t give a fuck and a half about your notifications? you just carry it around with you everywhere but don’t actually go on it? maybe someone texted you. maybe you received an email. maybe you need to take your daily duolingo lesson. but no, you really just can’t be bothered. fuck you
The Duolingo owl wrote this post

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a guy walked into the cafe earlier. he was wearing what looked like an expensive orange turtleneck, and had his hair styled up like an anime character and honestly he looked like he was having a great time. anyway he came up and ordered, and i gave him a table number and said i’d bring his order over shortly. he smiled and went over to his table. when his coffee was ready, i took it over to him and set it on the table and said that i hope he enjoyed the coffee and that he has a good day. he thanked me for being really nice to him, and that he isn’t used to being treated like this because he gets a lot of strange looks from people. i told him that it was no problem, and that i thought his turtleneck looked really nice on him. as i went to walk away, he stopped me and said ‘you’re really nice, so i want to let you in on a secret’. at this point i looked up towards my coworkers, who were motioning for me to go back over to them, but at the same time i really wanted to know what the secret was, so i politely said ‘uh, sure’. he seemed fairly trustworthy. it was a public place anyway, so he couldn’t really do anything. anyway. he proceeded to turn away from the other customers and just fucking…took the top of his turtleneck off. he explained that he cut the bottom of this long shirt and added velcro to the ends of it to make it a turtleneck. he held it in his hands and said ‘i’m a liar. everyone thinks it’s a turtleneck. but it isn’t. it’s great to have dumb secrets.’ and then put the fabric back around his neck and thanked me for his coffee again. i’m kind of scared now. what does this man know?
What a fantastic energy to have in life
sometimes i just sit and think about ways a genie can grant wishes.
why is he sitting like a 14th century monarch
i’m crying
Cards Against Humanty just released their “For Her” pack, parodying products geared towards women and also giving proceeds to Emily’s List, which helps more women get elected to government.
god I love this company
goin to sleep after that GOOD. NUT.
Is that Seth Everman?
One of them
excuse me tumblr user facadehe what does that mean please answer i am worried and scared thank you

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gonna time travel back to the middle ages so I can have some fun eating wormy gruel and hopefully top off the entire experience by getting stabbed in the stomach over a dispute about a couple of coins
sounds dope
BEST SHOW
Stealth Queen
the sims 4 is getting too realistic

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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seeing somebody’s domesticated wizard: wow, I love how well maintained and sleek his beard is! what product do you bathe him with? and what a lovely, clean, and silky robe… does he know any spells?
seeing a feral wizard in the wild: absolute running for life because it smells the raw ground beef in my knapsack
op i have a question
Some of you guys live in a much worse dimension than the one the rest of us are in.