$$$$$$

executive dysfunction is literally like. ive had a random dollar on my floor for two weeks and i dont know when ill fit it in my schedule to pick it up. people dont realize this

a beautiful woman named excessive heat warning keeps messaging me on my phone

she went after my cock like she was smeego. and I was that gay little ring.

If Jurassic Park was real the DefunctLand video on it would open with "66 Million Years ago, an asteroid the size of Mount Everest slammed into the Gulf of Mexico,"

it’s like nobody wants to dry hump and make out on the couch in the living room anymore

the year was Two Thousand and twenty-four. I took a puff of my Electronic-Cigarette, inhaling the vapours. my mobile terminal buzzed in my pocket, a flat slab of microchips and glossy touchscreen. I ignored it....... probably another Electronic-Mail

if i had no added MSG i wouldn't be proud of that. i wouldnt advertise it

THE TWEET IS REAL??!?!