lordsardine

“God’s favorite little darling” as your bio when you’re 30…. It should be “if the lord lets me see another day”

@wolfi-amadeus-mozart

... my pleasure. Wolfgang.

everyday on here it’s like okay well sure

hey don't cry. on december 3, 1926, agatha christie went missing for eleven days and because the uk police didn't know what to do they recruited sir arthur conan doyle, creator of master detective sherlock holmes, but all he did was conduct a séance to try and contact her distressed spirit

ok but did he find her distressed spirit or

Are you doing okay? We missed you at the devil's sacrament. He mentioned you by name. Everyone was looking around and cheering until we realized you weren't there. If you need to talk I'm always here. At the aforementioned devil's sacrament.

"you don't like mpreg?" i don't even like fpreg

hold up why is the beatles’ music actually fire

if i do something wrong they kill me

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled