lordsardine

tuesday status?

yup. its tuesday 👍

copy. tuesday confirmed ✅ engaging tuesday protocol

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

i have been informed by literally every french speaker on earth that “une pipe” is slang for blowjob

*street shot of zohran mamdani clad in nasty lil suit and hard hat* five months ago i was elected mayor of new york city. in that time, we have managed to COMPLETELY defeat the Staten Island Minotaur at no additional cost to the new york taxpayer

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

:(

Macaroni and mortar

Everyone go look up the song nasa banned from space