gin and phonics

The Unites States has achieved unconditional surrender to the Republic of Iran! We more deeply entrenched the regime we said we toppled, allowed the continuation of the nuclear program we said we already destroyed (a few times!), failed to control the Strait of Hormuz, failed to seize production of oil on Kharg Island, only secured free passage through the strait for maritime traffic for 60 days(!), and will give Iran billions, probably trillions of dollars in reparations, lifted sanctions and unfrozen assets despite the fact that one of Trumps hollow reasons for tearing up Obama's peace deal was Iran getting $1.5B out of it in 2018! Full defeat! USA! USA! USA!

Some time ago, I dreamt that an Italian man turned into a cat had to prove he wasn’t a regular cat by cooking a pot of tomato sauce in front of baffled residents of the house. He struggled, due to cats not having opposable thumbs, and the verdict was that the sauce sucked but it was indeed weird a cat cooked anything at all