"Es wird Durchfall in dir sein"

awesome that you can form a bond through gay sex which neither of you are engaging in, you're just both thinking about it really hard

one day you just wake up to 30 dms from your mutual across the world and they're like imagine if these characters were trapped in bikini bottom and they had to fuck or die and you're like, yeah tell me more

the rise of conservatism and gen z puritanism while still simultaneously trying to be hip and woke is so annoying because you have these people saying "match my freak" and then they get mad at ageplay and petplay and cnc and somno and anything raunchier than a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. you're not a "freak" if you think having a fetish is synonymous with being evil

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

to be honest, kitten doesnt know how many more “ok 💗 yay 💗”s they have left in them

rip critical reading born 12,000 years ago in mesopotamia died on twitter in 2013. :( rest easy king.

Knowing a fic author through AO3 is like attending someone’s thesis presentation and politely clapping at the end, knowing a fic author through this hellsite is like going over to their house at 3AM to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar

Sometimes I attend somebody’s thesis presentation and I’m so impressed that I follow them home to watch them eat mayonnaise out of a jar at 3am.

Sometimes I watch someone eat mayonnaise out of a jar at 3am with such fervour I am compelled to attend their thesis presentation

Sometimes I look at a thesis presentation and I go ‘I know exactly how much mayonnaise you had to eat out of the jar at 3 am to pull this shit off’

every time y’all say “I want to fuck that old man” then point at a 30 year old you are introducing an invasive species into the fuckable old man ecosystem

"it's not that deep" START DIGGING!!

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

DIG

OOPS TOO DEEP

I think I’m literally never gonna be sick of this masterpiece. I think watching it on a loop for eight hours could fix me. Dancing’s what clears my soul. Dancing’s what makes me whole.

I just love that this very video is an accumulation of thousands of years worth of art made by people who have never met each other. The concept of this video was so completely unfathomable to every single artist who made the sculptures and yet they’ve all put something toward the creation of it.

ITS BACK ON MY TIMELINE

Lord, grant me the strength to throw away this box that i'll never use, the courage to throw away this box that i'll never use, and the wisdom to throw away this box that i'll never use

Sent a 12 year old on a fake Hero’s Journey last week and holy shit he actually did it

Oh noooooooo! The mystery is solved! You’ve solved my final riddle, you are ze new riddle master... Congratulations… You have proven yourselves... quite the adventurers... oh, I’ve landed on Bryan- Bryan, ahhh… Bryan, I’m so proud of zem… I’m going to die now... My life is flagging from my body... I’ll see my family... goodbye cruel worrrrld-

I literally have no context for this and it’s fucking me up.