it fucken WIMDY
ever since i first saw this post, âit fucken WIMDYâ is easily one of the top ten most commonly used phrases in my household.
My job is done.
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@lonelylittlewarlock
it fucken WIMDY
ever since i first saw this post, âit fucken WIMDYâ is easily one of the top ten most commonly used phrases in my household.
My job is done.

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jokes to make after failure that arenât self-deprecating:
Iâm the best to ever do it
Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)
No oneâs ever done it like me
I could be President/they should make me President
Behold, a mere fraction of my power!
The public wants to be me soooooo bad
Iâm an expert in (thing you just failed at)
How could this have happened to godâs favorite princess?
Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix
Iâm being sabotaged
â60% of the time it works every timeâ is in my rotation as well
Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-
Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-då, and he hates me
My beloved son ä¨ťéž just trying to write his name in kindergarten
my corner store guy is a 50 year old man who's my best friend in the world and recently he was like "you're too pretty to be single I have some nephews you should meet. very handsome!" and I was like "a niece might be more up my alley" and he just got more excited and said "ah even better! I was overselling my nephews but my nieces are very beautiful"
OP the tags!!

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This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.
coat bath
tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN
i remade it in the sims 4
im joining the war on gross disgusting pornographic content on the side of gross disgusting pornographic content
You can tell i havent really used my tumblr in awhile when it still says TWENTY NINE.
Just a few more hours

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HELPPPPP
Reminds me of Jason Kander, former Missouri Secretary of State. When he went to the VA hospital to treat his PTSD, he told the nurse that Obama told him he should run for president, and she thought he was delusional.
Correction: It was worse. She asked him how long he's been hearing voices.
I think I'm gonna make this my go-to story. It's not the worst I've ever heard, which is an asset because people won't believe you if you tell them the actual bad stuff those people do. And it just perfectly sums up the casual arrogance everyone working in mental health seems to have. The way they treat you as inherently Lesser for being in their care.
If they can't even handle basic, easily verified shit like "I'm a lawyer" they are never going to believe you when you tell them that you know how to manage a condition you've been dealing with for decades better than they can or will.
And then there's Alexander Morris, who was put in a straitjacket, called racial slurs, and denied treatment for his potentially life-threatening heart condition when he told them he was the lead singer of the band he was lead singer of.
The lead singer of the Motown group the Four Tops has filed a federal lawsuit against Ascension Macomb Oakland Hospital in Warren, Michigan,
There are multiple parts of that article that are Jae droppingly awful but this one really gets me:
They almost let this man die in a straight jacket simply because they were too racist. And then when they realize their "mistake", they tell him that his life is worth a 25$ supermarket gift card. Of course he's suing them for $75,000 as he should but like. Can you imagine how insulted he must've been. The 4 Tops were one of the top Motown bands of all time. You can be at the top of the music scene and still, they'll kill you because you're black. And they'll use fake claims about mental illness and "aggression" to justify it
they should. give me one thousand dollars every month so i can commission artists who are very clearly unwell
Before i can do this small task i have to drink a coffee then play on my phone for an hour then jerk off then drink a soda then play on my phone then eat a snack then play on my phone then take a nap then play on my phone then go to bed
we need to bring back the word square like i don't think it's problematic that you listen to taylor swift i just kinda think it's lame as hell
hiiii *trying not to sound desperate for human connection*

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long distance internet friendships are so frustrating like i want to go hang out at your place. i want to bring that snack u like if ur sad. i want to go to the cinema and watch a movie together. i wish we could randomly decide to drive down to the beach one friday night and look at the stars. we drifted apart and idk if you're alive. nobody would think to tell you if i died. i hope you're okay