computer. show me hot guys

performed a highly controversial maneuver on the road today called "coming to a full and complete stop at the stop sign" that has drawn the ire of many people in the reckless driving fandom

feeding that old man a slutberry

slutberry friday

i'm bored everyone send in asks and share some hot old men (or any kind of man tbh) you want me to give a fuckability ranking to

standing in the produce aisle examining cucumbers and to the untrained eye it may appear as if i am trying to find the best quality cucumbers when in reality i am pretending i am holding heavy girthy orc cocks

joining the war on weird fetish porn on the side of weird fetish porn

realizing i have the power to write fetish porn of the niche characters i like vs. knowing it means i have to actually do it myself

everyone go leave fun little comments and tags on my posts now. i want to be nosy

just had my soul rent from my body and am now feeling a creeping darkness beginning to overtake me. ama

bear pussy

divorced dad cunt

it's so funny (derogatory) when making a password for a site and they'll have so many requirements on what your password must contain and yet still have a relatively low maximum character count. "your password must contain at least three special characters and at least five capital letters but no more than two in a row and your favorite mersenne prime and a limerick expressing your love for cinema. but if it's longer than 32 characters i'm going to throw up :(" well sorry my seven-word passphrase is too thick and girthy for you to handle

be a good boy and take daddy's passphrase. that 32 character limit of yours? daddy's going to stretch that character limit so good and wide that you won't feel satisfied by anything under 64 characters after tonight.

always remember that top/bottom, dom/sub, and big/small are not equivalent and that you can freely mix-n-match them to create whatever dynamic you want

sighing dreamily and getting all cozy in bed with a blissful expression on my face as i imagine men getting their throats ripped open and letting out sputtering gasps as they struggle to breathe

it is not scientifically possible to know the name of a basketball player

we just don’t know

there’s no way to know a basketball players name

i’m not even sure basket ball players have names

no body has ever known the name of a basketball player

i wish there was a way to easily identify a basketball player but there is no way to know the name of a basketball player. it’s just not possible

we just don’t know