Austin's Blog-type-thingy

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

A cat is a machine that turns proteins into violence.

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

holy shit is that kate bush

Lady in drive through had a bearded dragon sitting on her boobs and she held it up and let me pet it. killing myself canceled

in the next batman movie selina is back in town to con bruce wayne which he knows but he missed her so much and obviously he can afford it so he just lets her

she reveals she's robbed him and he's like oh that's fine lol if you needed money you could have just asked :) and writes her a check for a million dollars and asks when he can see her again and she's like dang this guy is insane??

he was terrified she could never love him for bruce wayne meanwhile selina's like okay edgy badboys are OUT rich himbos are IN but its the same guy

she expects batman to try to stop her at some point but he never does so she concludes that he just really hates bruce wayne for some reason which makes him all the more attractive

batman realizes she's falling for bruce for real and he's not even jealous he's just like "you really like him? 🥺 that's great 🥺" and selina's like wtf

anyway she sneaks into bruce's study or whatever to crack the safe hidden behind the painting and it's full of roses, jewelry, bruce's blank checkbook and a little note asking her to dinner. he thinks that this is normal behavior btw

The best "I forgot what they are called" description I have ever heard was "ronin sports mascots", while trying to find the word "furries" (specifically, fursuiters).

[ID: Bert from Sesame Street dressed in a colorful clown costume, smiling softly as he offers the viewer his brightly colored hat, with blue text around him that reads "Life is beautiful, you are not a fool for believing this world can be good." End ID]

Great ID overall, but that is Ernie, not Bert.

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

Everyone likes the cool handsome tough guy, yet for some odd reason, no one seems to enjoys the ever-humble fat ugly shitty guy

less than 30 notes in 1 minute, puki fell off

This one's a slow burn. It gets good in the second half