collapsible fainting couch

Happy March 32nd, everyone!

you can only reblog this once a year

I may be late but it’s a-okay

happy 1st bday to... this.

I personally am declaring this to be a new International Holiday 

Happy 2nd anniversary to the Suez Canal blockage!

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth to climb trees and play with plastic animals are buying foundation at the drug store

for a second i thought you meant foundation like, a building foundation. not makeup

God the 11 year old girls you put on this earth are building something great and terrible on the edge of town

It's Autumn, which means if I make a Big Pot of Soup it will Fix Everything. No one fact check me on this. We need to let the soup speak for itself.

when a character is referred to as someone else's dog. you agree

Not only would this work on me this is the best thing you could ever do

the thing that really cheeses my cake about flies getting in my house is they clearly don't want to be there anyway. like at least the ants trying to steal cereal from my pantry had a goal and a plan. you are just here because you're too stupid to use a window twice

Before 204 is over does anyone want to admit they want to flog me in the village square

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

Not soulmates but it always had to be them and they weren't destined to be together but they were doomed to be but also it took everything for them to get here and also it was never supposed to happen but also it always was and had to happen this way. Hope this helps

does anyone know if we have locking in today

no it was canceled. today we are taking things as they come and doing exactly what feels right

jorts season againnn fuck yesssss suck the very visible outline of my diiiiiick

it's SO important to spend lots and lots of time on shit that no one cares about but you and does not enhance your life in any way

"kill them with kindness" FALSE! task manager🧮

why are all the actual real human jobs like baker and florist and childcare worker barely paying livable wages but the fake jobs like ai specialist boot licker or marketing campaign dick sucker making six figures