Perfectly Average Blog

i’m the normalest guy on the planet btw. #normalboy #normalcore #boynormal #normalguythings

This just in, Dubai chocolate was invented by... Israel!!

Isn't that the traditional sign someone has gone fully off their rocker with conspiracy theories though? "Oh, you don't know why they would do this? You don't see how they'd benefit? That IS how they benefit, because they're distracting from their real goals and making credulous people like YOU think they DON'T control and manipulate everything!"

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

i think most people accept the idea of "you don't control who you're attracted to" in terms of being gay but imo it can go further. like if you're not attracted to men, but you happen to find a transmasc person attractive, i dont think thats inherently transphobic if you acknoweldge that your attraction is incongruent with their identity. you dont need to run yourself in circles creating qualifiers for your sexuality when we live in a world of infinite gender identites. it's not like you have an inbuilt radar that tells you whether that hot stranger at the bar is a woman or not. man who kissed a twink that turned out to be a butch lesbian that thought he was a butch lesbian. etc.

Large number of complaints about the modern world resolve down to "I want everything in one bag and I don't want the bag to be heavy"

I want the newest, coolest, shiniest phone they advertise on Instagram and it should cost $30 and be tiny and also huge and have every feature I could possibly want without thinking about it

I want my websites to allow me unlimited uploading of all data in high definition with zero lag or buffering, have every single person on earth available, with an easy way to see only the stuff I like and not anything I don't, for free with zero ads, with clear, straightforward moderation that gets rid of every Nazi and has zero false positives that also lets me tell random strangers and the people running the site to kill themselves, and I should be able to find it without doing any independent searching on my own because I'm too lazy to look for it

I want my girlfriend to have huge tits and a small waist and a fat ass and thin thighs and have clear skin and be a virgin and great at sex, likes all the stuff I like but not in the annoying way other people do, looks like she spends 3 hours a day on makeup and hair but takes up zero time in my bathroom, goes down on me but doesn't ask me to eat her out, has zero kinks except for mine, doesn't demand anything of me and is attracted to me for me, modestly hides her body from the public but also makes other people jealous when I'm with her, isn't crazy jealous but doesn't have any other guy friends, wants three ways only with other girls, and also she approaches me in public so I don't have to do anything to meet or woo her.

I'd do one about video games or food but the last few years have shown that people will talk endlessly about wanting shorter games with worse graphics made by people who work less hours for more pay, or wanting to pay $1 more for a hamburger if the worker gets paid more, and then immediately revolt when the cost of their bleeding edge console or burrito taxi goes up with inflation.

Massie is a Nazi troll shitting out doomed legislation to justify his future podcast appearances. The fact that over 100 Democrats decided to devour the shit of a Nazi troll for the symbolism of the action AND not read it is what is doing my fucking head in.

A HAMMERHEAD????

How have things been since the Chanukkah Massacre? I remember reading about Aussie politicians proposing all kinds of things in Parliament, but a lot of it felt like "sound and fury, signifying nothing." Did anything useful come of that?

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need better friends

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need to be better friends

If Israelis elect a saner government in the next election, nobody is going to be sadder to see Bibi go in our Congress than Rashida Tlaib. She's been his biggest supporter by action.

Isn't it a bit premature to threaten hostage-taking before you've lost a contest with someone you claim to mostly ideologically align with and subsequently needed to take said platform hostage? What in the Lost Cause Bullshit is this? Should we get them all white hoods or...