What it says on the label

*gasp*

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

this is still top tier comedy today

I'm sorry but vaccines are so fucking cool. You're telling me that I just need to drop by my doctor, feel a pinprick, maaaybe feel a bit off for a day and then I have statistically significant, incredible chances of either completely avoiding getting a certain illness or at the very least have a pretty string guarantee my body will kick its ass swiftly??? Fucking magic potion.

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

God forbid a girl be both kind and full of rage.

People really need to watch Call the Midwife when they’re pregnant because on one of the other apps I saw a woman saying she’s 38 weeks pregnant and has had a multi-day headache that won’t go away and I screamed PRE-ECLAMPSIA!!!!

good morning cruel world

Don’t you mean goodbye?

no i meant good morning. this world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for