PAISLEIGHB

This project started from a traumatic experience, and I’m healed. I did this not only to spin the narrative of revenge p*rn and going “bad viral” - but because I know I’m not the first, and I unfortunately won’t be the last have something like that happen to me. I just did it to prove to myself and others that life goes on, and you can thrive despite the emotional blackmail, the negative comments, the weirdos, the blogs and forums - shout out all the ViP2 Users (and for real though, because it’s actually you who made *this magic* happen).

As an adult, I actually understand why I went through it all now. Because if not me, then who? I am fortunate enough to always have has so much love poured into me that I can find strength to just get on with it. From the bullying to the blackmail, I’m just proud to have made something so beautiful from a shitty situation. From a picture with a BBC to the literal BBC, it’s the turn around story of a true champion 🥲😂

I’m done going this story over and over because it’s had enough of my energy, I’ve separated myself from that horrific incident and that horrific man child who did it. 4Play is my gift to the people who’ve supported the Sextapes 1-3, and is the evolution of that. I’ll always make sexy music, but it’s not all I do, and I feel like the past few years I’ve shown that. Thank you all so much for riding with me so far. 14/02/26 💜

How am I here feeling lazy because I haven’t posted? How am I less of a creative because my TikTok isn’t popping? How did we even get here?

I genuinely miss a simpler life. Making music used to be about making music. Now I have to be a director, editor, booking agent, brand, influencer, find my niche as well as promote my art?! I’m drowning.

This, is about that.

I’ve been ignoring my mental health simply just because I don’t know how to deal with it. Talking about the things that have gone to shit in life just doesn’t seem to fix things.

Death has me checking on people when they sleep. I wake up just to check people are breathing. I haven’t even fully registered that I almost died myself.

Finding out I may never be able to have children has been a whole ordeal. Society makes us believe that it’s the one job we as women are here for, so for a while I wondered what was my point and reason. Being around children makes me happy yet devastatingly sad.

I’m at war with myself in my own body, soul & mind, and after talking, I’m still alone with my thoughts.

So while I’m getting on with things from the outside looking in, I’m drowning in anxiety, screaming to get out my own head.

I write these things down to see how much I can overcome and hopefully next year, I can smile understanding the lessons I’ve been given.

It feels criminal that time has gone on without you, both. Hate that I can never see your smiles, hear your laughs again, meet your kids, go to your weddings. Every mile stone, every small moment, there’s a you shaped hole in each of them.

My heart feels no lighter. It’s still heavy.

Crossing my mind more now that you’re in the realm we all must go to, eventually. Love that I got to have those special moments with you, see your kindness, hear your stories, share secrets. Every mile stone, every small moment, there’s a thought of you here with me.

In those moments, however brief. You’re alive.

I always said that your relationship with death determines how you grieve, however it’s my relationship with love that determines how I carry on. I hate that it has to be this way, I hate that you’re both not here, I hate that I can’t get those moments back.

This track was written for all the underdogs; in a world where we are constantly comparing our progress and success to others sometimes we truly need to remind ourselves we got this and we BEEN about it.

I feel like I’ve been on auto pilot since 2019. I’ve buried 7 people in 3 years and just feel absolutely desensitised to life itself; not in any bad way, just neutralised.

I have no clue what day it is, what I’m doing here, nothing. It’s wild. I don’t feel sad, I don’t feel happy. Is unfulfilled the word? I don’t even know anymore - it’s like I switched off and screaming at myself to switch back on again and I don’t know where to start. Is this grief? Is this adulting? Is this *normal*?

Or is he just a c*nt? 💁🏽‍♀️😂

For those who haven’t seen, there’s a teen (18) who’s gone viral for absolutely ridiculous pranks that have involved taking someone’s dog as well as walking into strangers homes.

He was arrested, fined and given a TV interview with Piers Morgan in the UK;

https://youtu.be/mdij3Eq0TqQ

And while Piers is probably one of the worst people to “host” as he never lets anyone speaks and says some more than questionable things, my focus here is this young man.

HOW? WHAT? WHERE? WHEN? AND WHY?!!!

Where are these boys parents/guardians? Family? Are they ever going to address or discipline him?? Because their son is growing up to be an absolute menace. He’s a whole 18 and just knows better than these “pranks” and to just act like it’s just not a thing too? HE’S WHOLE ASS WALKING UP IN HOUSES LIKE RALPH YARL WASN’T SHOT FOR *KNOCKING* ON THE WRONG DOOR?!!!

It’s so disappointing that the youth of these days don’t recognise the laws, the real dangers they’re putting themselves in in-order to go viral, DAILY.

WAKE THE F*CK UP!!!

And there’s people truly making comment on the fact that he “may” have this and that, but truly, what if he’s just trouble?

My point, and my advice is this - and it’s simple. When making content, involving the public or not, ask yourself this ——

Is it really worth the risk of someone locking off your jaw or unaliving you? Are you really willing to do time or go sleep forever over a piece of content?

Cos the answer is no. If you’re struggling, it’s really no. This generation need to realise being viral for all of 5 minutes isn’t the be all and end all, anything you do in life you are going to have to work at it - there’s really no easy way to be successful.

This guy’s continuously upping the anti on his pranks and challenges, SO many kids are. We need to be a bit more aware, ourselves, of what the next generation are doing in order to get likes and follows - if we don’t step in and give some direction, it ends up with more kids like Mizzy.

If I was his Mum, he wouldn’t have a phone and he wouldn’t see the light of day nor his friends for the foreseeable future. If I was his Dad, I would rock his jaw until he thought I was sending him back to God 😂

He’s made his family look a mess, himself, his entire lineage. 18, and what university or business is willingly offering a place to someone like this? Cancel culture is very much here and real. The fact that he STILL can’t even seem remorseful is so deafeningly stupid to me.

Hoping someone can get through to this boy, honestly. There are so many other ways to become a successful content creator beyond being a foolish, self centred, unaware, out of control young adult that chases clout for views and likes this.