I want to jump into blue water And I miss riding horses, I miss running fast
trying on a metaphor

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I want to jump into blue water And I miss riding horses, I miss running fast

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they dont know it yet, but they do notice each other Caitvi College AU
alrighty, after my previous analysis-es, I want to take a look at Vi and Caitlyn's interactions, specifically their dialog, throughout the show. precisely because it actually is very different than their touch language, in particular on Caitlyn's end.
I think no one would be surprised to learn that Vi is a very openly emotional person. Not only does she allow herself to be consumed by her feelings unabashedly
but she's also in touch enough with herself to effectively verbally communicate how she feels.
That last part throws a lot of people off- because Vi does have some walls she put up for proterction, in particular in front of strangers. I think her aggressive attitude and tendency to run away make people mistakenly assume she's a closed off person, but she most definitely isn't. People who are close to Vi get to see her be vulnerable- Caitlyn, Jinx, Ekko, Vander, and ever Loris. When Vi feels an emotion, she doesn't try to bury or hide it- she let's it come to the surface.
Cut to her Very emotionally repressed girlfriend, who not only buries her emotions on the regular, but also is completely clueless on how to voice them. when Caitlyn wants to express how she feels, she usually talks about the matter-of-fact, the dry details, to imply what she actually wants to say. that's why analyzing Caitlyn feels like decoding a cryptid message.
I think a lot of people miss this detail, because both Caitlyn and Vi are direct and honest people. the difference is, Vi is direct and honest through and through- whether the subject matter is casual or extremely sensetive to her. Caitlyn's directness comes in her matter of fact-ness. when it comes to subjects that are about her own emotions, she doesn't lie- but she often talks indirectly, or chooses to not speak at all.
and that's why Caitvi work so well- because Vi absolutely gets what Caitlyn is trying to say. she is a master at decoding Caitlyn's indirect backhanded language. and that's a big reason why Caitlyn feels so seen by Vi.
Just like ther touch language, the way each girl expresses herself verbally has direct ties to how they were raised.
Let's start by examining Caitlyn and her dad. Supposedly, according to the fandom, Cait's dad is the parent who gets her the most. well, maybe when the competition is Cassandra Kiramman, this isn't such a high praise. I'd argue neither one of Caitlyn's parents truly get her. In general, the Kirammans seem to not quite be able to communicate in a vulnerable way, despite clearly loving each other.
in this scene, Caitlyn is trying to express a very clear message to her dad.
translation: I feel guilty for Mother's death.
you'll notice she states a fact ("I had the shot") instead of openly expressing how she feels.
in return, her dad either 1. doesn't get that subtext from what she's saying, or 2. agrees with the subtext and decides not to challenge it. because I don't think Tobias is a bad parent, i'll go with the first option. But it still leaves Caitlyn feeling misunderstood, and her emotional needs unmet. it's not entirely Tobias' fault- he's grieving too, and his daughter isn't exactly spelling it out for him. But if anything, this scene shows you exactly how the Kirammans operate an emotionally raw situation- that is to say. they don't.
(Caitlyn also has no idea how to comfort her father)
compare this to the environment Vi grew up in.
Vi was always an open person- we see it in the way she openly grieves her parents in the very first scene in the show.
She was later raised by Vander, who himself was an honest man. Here's young Vi talking to her dad:
during their conversations, both Vi and Vander are communicating openly. Vi feels like she can be vulnerable around Vander, and he in turn takes her seriously, doesn't try to hide things from her just because they might hurt. that is the complete opposite to how Caitlyn was raised- she was protected, but also coddled. Vi expreienced the harsh reality growing up, but she had a mentor who was honest with her and gave her a place she could emotionally express herself. Caitlyn grew up being kept away from any pain or danger- away from the "real world"- but in return her mentors were much less emotionally available, and prioritized composure over vulnerabilty.
here's what happens when these 2 very different upbrinings clash.
Caitlyn is delivering one of her most vulnerable dialogs on screen, yet she keeps it to the facts; on the surface, she is talking about the literal vacuum her mother left, that she's now expected to fill- the legacy and responsibilty she enherited. however, the subtext here is Caitlyn trying to express the sadness, the loss and the grief she feels. Vi, who is used to open communication, sees through the first layer and addresses the subtext head on.
and so, Caitlyn feels seen, understood, despite never actually saying anything directly. Vi meets her at her own level, and Vi knows how to effectively comfort her.
most of Vi and Cait's scenes together are ruled by this dynamic seen above. Vi is the open one, leading most of their dialog. she will bring up things that hurt. she will say the quiet part out loud. she will confront the problem head on. on the other hand, Caitlyn is usually on the back foot of the dialog, replying rather than initiating. her words are short and indirect. more often than not, she stays silent.
let's look at some more examples.
im this scene, Vi, as usual, wears her heart on her sleeve. she expresses her biggest fear to Caitlyn- "everyone in my life has changed", and clearly communicates what she needs- "promise me you won't change". right before this scene, she apologizes to Caitlyn for her loss, relating to her pain- "I'm so sorry about your mother, I'm sorry I can't bring her back".
Caitlyn, uhh, well...
she starts the scene in her dry, militant way, and as Vi gets more emotional, she gets quieter and quieter. this gif is the last time she speaks in this scene, before her infamously cryptic "I won't". her words are unclear or sticking to facts, making her almost come across as cold. and the thing is, Caitlyn knows this. She knows her words don't offer comfort- and that's why, in this moment, she uses her touch to comfort Vi. because Caitlyn struggles when it comes to verbally expressing emotions, but her touch is always soft and warm.
here's another example.
Vi comes in this scene and just bombards Caitlyn with accusations. notice how she addresses all of her issues directly: Caitlyn being "ungrateful" to Jinx, her distrust in Caitlyn, her disappointment in Caitlyn's professional affair with Ambessa.
as for Caitlyn- she's on the back foot, as she often is when it's a dialog heavy Caitvi scene. notice how she doesn't state what she thinks directly, instead she's being the queen of passive aggressive sass.
what she says are the facts. You didn't let me in on the plan, you had Jinx there because of a contigency. the translation: "i'm hurt that you didn't trust me." but Caitlyn can't just admit that openly like Vi does.
The only time Caitlyn drops her defenses in this scene is when she admits her awareness of her wrongdoings.
"I know!"
this is the only direct admition we get, and it came cause Vi pushed her all the way against the wall and provoked her, which is something Vi is notoriously good at.
the second time she admits it is here, and she's back to her nondirect, vague language.
she's referncing a mysterious "collective", to avoid talking about herself directly... where else have I seen this?
translation: I can't erase my mistakes / i'm just like you. but Caitlyn doesn't make it personal. this phrasing makes the things she says, that are technically more subjective, sound grounded and objective.
Vi, of course, is as direct and personal as ever. and again it kind of looks like she answers Caitlyn's subtext rather than what she's saying on the surface, though this isn't as clear in this example.
Lets circle all the way back to this scene.
I think in the overall excitement of the fandom upon recieving this scene, plus the memeification that it went through, we all forgot that this is an objectively unromantic and strange thing to say. On the surface, it's a dry fact about a military operation. But after reading through this entire analysis, isnt this just the most Caitlyn line ever? And of course, the subtext here is abundant.
Translation: i knew you would go look for your sister, and I've decided to put my hate for her behind for you. I understand you will forever love your family and I'm not asking you to choose between us anymore. And more generally, I'm sorry and I love you, at the same time.
And the best thing? Vi gets it. Because she understands Caitlyn's indirect language more than anyone else.
So, in conclusion. Why all this matters? Well, truthfully, I'm just sick of the constant "Caitlyn didn't apologize" takes, that for some reason expected Caitlyn to sit down and directly say "I'm sorry" to the camera. I hope I explained why making this claim, or worse, trying to "fix it fic" is absurdly out of character. If youre a Caitlyn enjoyer, why erase her unique characterization for the sake of simplicity?
Not only is it out of character for Caitlyn, it's also out of character for Vi to ever demand that of her. Vi loves Caitlyn and underatands her cues. Just because an invisible audience needs things spelled out for them, doesn't mean the characters need it too. Vi gets what Caitlyn is saying regardless of whether she says it directly or not- that's part of the charm of their dynamic. That "imbalance" in how they express themselves isn't something that HAS to be solved- they clearly know how to work around it. And to me, that makes their relstionship feel more realistic and fleshed out.
Now that we addressed the fans- doesn't this also explain why so many people seem to get drastically different readings on Cait? Unlike Vi, whether you pick up on Caitlyn's subtext and body language or not, you'll get a whole different character. I suspect a lot of people who hate Caitlyn only read her at face value, based on what she says alone. By doing that, they get a much drier, angrier character than she actually is. and of course, Vi's devotion and attraction to her makes no sense if that's the only thing you see.
Something I really struggle to get people to understand is that like. Sometimes there was no intentional homoerotic subtext, the author was just extremely misogynistic. Sometimes the author wasn't "secretly shipping" those two men, the author literally just hates women so much that they see them as being literally incapable of relationships with depth. Like this is kind of a big thing with misogyny actually. A lot of extremely misogynistic people truly believe that a man can only have meaningful and complex relationships with other men because they literally just think women are so inferior they only exist to birth children and clean the house. It's like when people say along the lines of "no one worships exclusively men quite like straight men do". It's just that phenomenon actually. That happens to be manifesting in a raging misogynist's writing. Writing a man character who literally only puts effort into his friendships with other men while completely ignoring his literal girlfriend or wife is actually an extremely straight thing to write. And that doesn't mean you can't ship those men or that there are no stories with actual intentional homoerotic subtext. I just think it's important to be able to recognize extreme misogyny in writing and acknowledge it without brushing it off and assuming good intentions when literally all evidence is screaming that this was a misogynistic writing choice and not a representing gay men choice.
tequila is like drinking the tears of a very happy young woman and whiskey is like drinking the tears of a very sad old man and gin is like drinking the tears of a closeted gay man named james

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Meine Eltern waren letztens im Urlaub und haben gestern von einem Restaurantbesuch erzählt. Da gab es nur eine Toilette für alle, berichten sie, also nicht geschlechtergetrennt. "Unisex" war das Wort, das sie gesucht haben. "Bisexuell" war das Wort, das mein Vater stattdessen benutzt hat. Eine bisexuelle Toilette.
This is how my posts look
have i ever shown u people my hand sofa
my prized possession is this loveseat I bought from a divorced dad who couldn’t tell me anything about it and in the years i’ve owned it i’ve never been able to find out who made it or where it came from. it’s got nails and finger creases and palm lines but they’re all kinda hard to see in this pic.
my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush
so when are the residents going to stop being evil?

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for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits
World Heritage Post
My legacy on this site I fear.
Things worn down by people.
this is unironically one of the most beautiful photo sets i've ever seen
ITS MARCH YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS
Schwarze Packung (EXTRA VIEL PROTEINE!!) und hellblaue Packung (light! jetzt mit weniger Fett!) sind in Sachen Marketing auch nur "pink ist für Mädchen und blau für Jungs :)" für Fortgeschrittene

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{Song: Headlock - Imogen Heap | Scenepack: 404scenepacks on Insta | CapCut for PC}
might do a Vi version someday - though this took ages so it might not be for a while; either way i love how this came out ^^