One Day At A Time

Y/n: That's very wise of you

Wise: *lets out a tired sigh and looks up to them from his work, already knowing where this is going* Pun intended?

Y/n: Pun intended. *Nonchalantly says*

୭ ˖ 𓌔 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗦 𓏻 ✦ book i (here) ... book ii

log 001. in sickness and in health

synopsis: you and dottore get married

log 002. the result still persists

synopsis: the morning after your wedding

log 003. acceptable contributions

synopsis: you and dottore look over your wedding gifts

log 004. no objections noted

synopsis: dottore's segments reacting to your marriage

log 005. you persisted

synopsis: you remember how you and dottore met

log 006. joint appearance

synopsis: you and dottore hosting your first dinner

log 007. baseline temperature

synopsis: dottore's notices you're always cold in his lab and changes the temperature

log 008. do not touch

synopsis: a fatui agent touches your work, which dottore fixes

log 009. experimental refusal

synopsis: you wanting dottore to try one of his experiments on you

log 010. under observation

synopsis: you get sick and dottore takes care of you

log 011. fragmented affection

synopsis: the segments spending time with you

log 012. breach of protocol

synopsis: a fatui agent insults you and dottore deals with them

log 013. omega constant

synopsis: omega interacting with you

log 014. preliminary observation

synopsis: back in the akademiya days when dottore used to do experiments on you

log 015. misidentification error

synopsis: when you're on the verge of falling asleep and mistake a segment for dottore

log 016. floral offering

synopsis: you give dottore flowers

log 017. small, warm things

synopsis: you and dottore's child segment (zeta) interacting

log 018. breach of custody

synopsis: you get kidnapped while dottore is away

log 019. unplanned acquisition

synopsis: you bring home a stray kitten

log 020. what people get wrong

synopsis: what made dottore fall in love with you

log 021. a profitable conversation

synopsis: a small meeting with pantalone

log 022. thermal regulation

synopsis: taking a bath together

log 023. white noise

synopsis: falling alseep next to dottore cause his voice was soothing

log 024. idle hands

synopsis: you doodling on dottore's hands when he doesn't have his gloves on

log 025. before the name

synopsis: your first date and kiss with dottore back in the akademiya

log 026. false positive

synopsis: you mistaking one of dottore's segments for him and kissing him

log 027. redundant supervision

synopsis: you're pregnant and in labour when dottore is out of town and the segments freak out

log 028. divided attention

synopsis: you start to bond with the segments more and dottore gets jealous

log 029. private reactions

synopsis: you make dottore flustered

log 030. lapse in restraint

synopsis: omega lashes out and you and accidentally hurts you and dottore finds out

log 031. what was taken apart

synopsis: your awkward interaction with scaramouche

log 032. loose strands

synopsis: you braiding the front of dottore's hair

log 033. an experiment in tears

synopsis: dottore sees you crying

I literally MADE OUT with it and then proceeded to throw it like a Major League Baseball pitcher

↪️ In which Yuji realizes Nanami and Higuruma have the same taste in women.

A/n: Nanami's turn, AU where he never died.

The first thing someone might notice if they were to visit the Kento house hold is how normal it feels.Not normal like boring, no, but normal in the way the air inside his home is warm, lived-in, and safe. It smells faintly of coffee and something sweet—vanilla, maybe and the low hum of a kettle fills the kitchen like a heartbeat.

You’re standing at the counter, hip leaned against it, fingers idly tracing the rim of a mug while you watch your husband move around the space like he owns it.

Because he does.

Nanami’s broad back is to you, shirt sleeves rolled neatly to his elbows, tie slightly loosened. The scars are visible even from here, the burn that cuts across his face and neck, the one that stole his eye. They should make him look harsher but they don't

“Don’t just stand there,” you say, voice soft but carrying that unmistakable edge of authority. “If you’re going to make coffee, make it properly. You always rush it when you think no one’s watching.”

Nanami pauses.Then, slowly, he glances back at you over his shoulder. “…I do not rush coffee.”

“You do,” you reply immediately, lifting a brow. “And don’t argue with me. I live here.”

“Yes, dear.”

You hum, satisfied, shifting your weight, soft sweater slipping slightly off your shoulder. He watches that movement for a fraction too long before turning back to the coffee machin.

Before you can say anything else, there’s a knock at the door.

Nanami exhales quietly. “That will be Yuji Itadori.”

“Your student?” you ask, already pushing off the counter. “The loud one?”

“…That narrows it down insufficiently.”

You snort softly as you walk past him, brushing your hand against his arm as you go. He stills for just a second at the contact subtle, but there and then continues pouring coffee like nothing happened.

You open the door and there he is. Yuji Itadori stands on the other side, bright, energetic, hair slightly wind-tossed and then he sees you.

He freezes for a moment, blinking rapidly, trying to process the situation

You blink back at him. “Are you going to say hello, or just stand there like you’ve never seen a woman before?”

That snaps him out of it.

“OH!!! sorry! Hi! I’m Yuji...uh...Itadori! Nanami said I could—”

“I know who you are,” you cut in, stepping aside. “Take your shoes off. And don’t track dirt into my house or I’ll make you clean the floors.”

“…Yes, ma’am.”

He does it immediately.

You close the door behind him, watching as he walks in and then immediately looks around like he’s stepped into some alternate universe.

Nanami’s place isn’t what people expect. It’s not cold or minimal or lifeless.

It’s soft.

There are blankets folded neatly over the couch. Books stacked in careful piles. A faint floral scent woven into the air. Your presence is everywhere—subtle, but unmistakable.

Yuji notices and then Nanami walks back into the room.

“…You’re late,” Nanami says calmly.

“By like two minutes!”

“Late.”

Yuji opens his mouth to argue then stops because now he’s looking between the two of you.

At Nanami...tall, composed, scarred, terrifying and of course then to you. Short, soft, warm, standing there with your arms crossed and that look in your eyes.

There’s a long pause and then Yuji deadpans, completely serious. “…You and Higuruma-San have the same taste in women.”

Silence.

You blink once as Nanami… slowly turns his head.

“…Excuse me,” he says.

Yuji gestures vaguely. “I mean...Higuruma’s wife is, like, really pretty and soft and kinda...uh—” he flounders, realizing he is absolutely digging his own grave, “...and you also...have—”

You tilt your head, smiling sweetly. “Finish that sentence,” you say gently.

He swallows. “…good taste?”

Nanami exhales through his nose. “…That is the correct answer.”

You hum approvingly, walking back toward the kitchen. “Smart boy. He can stay.”

“I wasn’t aware that was in question,” Nanami mutters.

“It always is.”

Yuji watches this exchange like he’s witnessing something sacred....or terrifying....or both.

Because Nanami....Nanami, the man who doesn’t bend, doesn’t break, doesn’t tolerate nonsense Is letting you boss him around.

Without hesitation.

Without complaint.

Without even trying to argue.

Yuji leans slightly toward Nanami, lowering his voice. “…She’s the boss, huh?”

Nanami doesn’t even look at him. “…Obviously.”

From the kitchen, you call out, “I heard that. And yes, I am.”

Yuji snorts. Nanami closes his eye briefly.

And for just a second just a second there’s something softer in his expression, something warm, something that only exists when you’re here.

And Yuji sees it then grins. “…Yeah,” he says under his breath. “That checks out.”

Yuji is practically vibrating in his seat now, because starts innocently just tea and coffee, just conversation but the moment he realizes he’s sitting across from Nanami’s wife, something in him locks in like he’s about to hear the greatest story of all time.

And honestly?

He is.

“So,” Yuji leans forward, elbows on his knees, eyes bright with curiosity, “how did you two meet?”

You pause mid-sip, glancing over the rim of your cup toward your husband.

Nanami doesn’t even look up from his coffee.“…It was uneventful,” he says flatly.

You lower your cup slowly.

Yuji immediately points. “He’s lying.”

“I am not lying.”

“You sound like you’re lying.”

You hum, setting your cup down with a soft clink, smile already forming.

Nanami exhales.Like a man who knows he’s already lost. “…Proceed,” he says, resigned.

Your smile brightens. “I was walking my dog.”

Nanami closes his eye. “…Of course you were,” he mutters under his breath.

Yuji perks up even more. “WAIT hold on—” he leans in closer, squinting like he’s putting pieces together, “—you didn’t hit him with a bike, did you?”

You blink. “…No?”

Nanami’s brow furrows slightly as he finally looks at Yuji. “…Why would that be your first assumption?”

Yuji waves a hand vaguely. “Long story. Continue.”

You huff softly, completely unbothered, picking your spoon back up and stirring your tea lazily.

“I was walking my dog,” you repeat, “and someone—” you tilt your head toward Nanami, giving him a pointed look, “....was standing in the middle of the park like a statue.”

“I was observing a cursed spirit.”

“You were blocking foot traffic,” you correct immediately. “Which is a crime in my book.”

Yuji snorts.

Nanami’s jaw tightens just slightly. “I was not blocking—”

“You were. People were walking around you like you were a haunted lamppost.”

Yuji loses it, laughing into his hand.

Nanami exhales again, slower this time, like he’s trying very hard not to engage.

“And then?” Yuji urges, leaning even closer.

You beam. “And then my dog ran straight into him.”

Nanami finally speaks, tone dry. “He did not run. He launched himself.”

“He was excited.”

“He tackled me.”

“He liked you.”

“He weighed forty kilograms.”

Yuji wheezes.

You wave a hand dismissively. “Details.”

Nanami adjusts his eye patch slightly, posture still composed despite the betrayal happening in his own living room. “I was knocked to the ground,” he continues flatly. “In public.”

“You recovered.”

“I was covered in dirt.”

“You looked distinguished.”

“I had grass in my hair.”

“You still looked good.”

.....

Yuji looks between you both, eyes wide. “…You flirted with him after your dog assaulted him?”

You tilt your head. “Obviously.....I'm not blind."

Nanami’s lips press into a thin line. “She apologized,” he says.

“I did not.”

“You did.”

“I said, ‘You’re in the way.’”

“You also said—” Nanami pauses, glancing at you briefly, like he’s debating whether to repeat it.

Your smile sharpens. “Go on.”

“…You said,” he continues carefully, “that if I was going to stand there looking intimidating, I should at least be useful and help you with your groceries.”

Yuji slaps his knee.

“NO WAY—”

“I was being practical,” you defend.

“You handed me three bags.”

“You took them.”

“I was not given a choice.”

“You absolutely were.”

Nanami stares at you.

You stare back.

Yuji looks like he’s watching a tennis match.

“…Then what?” he asks, barely containing himself.

You lean back slightly, completely at ease, completely pleased.

“Then,” you say sweetly, “I decided to make him my husband."

Yuji’s jaw drops.

Nanami sighs, something deep, long and familiar.

“She is,” he says, voice even, “very difficult to say no to.”

You preen slightly at that, completely unashamed as you hold your head high.

Yuji looks at him, then at you, then back again.“…So you got tackled by a dog, forced to carry groceries, and then got proposed to?”

Nanami doesn’t hesitate.“Yes.”

“…And you just....accepted that?”

Nanami takes a slow sip of his coffee then calmly.

“Yes.”

You smile, satisfied, reaching over to adjust his tie slightly where it’s crooked.

He lets you.

Of course he does.

Yuji leans back in his chair, staring at both of you like he’s just witnessed something life-altering.

A/n: I love him, this man needs so much love.

The first time the Mighty Nein encountered you, it was, in Fjord’s professional opinion, an absolute disaster.

They had been traveling through a stretch of dense woodland, the kind where the canopy grew so thick it swallowed most of the light, leaving everything in a muted green haze and the air was quiet, too quiet and that alone had Beau on edge, her eyes scanning constantly, shoulders tight.

“I don’t like this,” she muttered. “Feels like something’s watching us.”

“It’s a forest,” Nott whispered dramatically. “Everything’s watching us.”

Caleb said nothing, but he slowed his pace slightly, gaze drifting upward. He felt it too of course, it would be impossible not too. It was a dangerous presence but something else, something he couldn't place his finger on but then he felt something above them that made the hair on his neck stand up.

“…halt,” he said quietly.

Fjord stopped immediately. Yasha turned. Jester nearly walked into Beau.

“What?” Jester whispered, already excited.

Caleb lifted a hand slightly, eyes narrowing as he looked into the trees. "There is something—”

A shape moved, it was subtle, almost invisible in the tangle of branches and leaves but once you saw it, you couldn’t unsee it.

It was Large, too large

Nott’s voice came out as a horrified squeak. “Oh no.”

Beau squinted. “Is that—”

“It is a spider,” Caleb confirmed.

It was in fact a spider….A very large spider.

Perched above them, legs stretched across multiple branches, body blending almost perfectly into the shadows. It hadn’t moved yet, it just sat their in silence.

Which somehow made it worse.

Jester leaned forward, fascinated. “Oh wow, it’s kinda pretty—”

“No,” Fjord said immediately. “No, it is not.”

Caleb took a slow step forward, cautious but curious, eyes fixed on the creature.

“…it has not attacked,” he murmured. “Perhaps it is not—”

He shifted his weight and then a twig snapped under his boot.The sound echoed louder than it should have.

And then spider jolted.

Everything happened at once.

The massive shape above them flinched not lunging, not striking….more like startled, terrified.

And then the spider shifted as it fell out of the tree, the transformation was sudden, chaotic as limbs twisted, the form collapsing in on itself before expanding again and suddenly there was a bear.

A very large bear, dropping directly out of the tree.

“….OH! Beau started.

“…NEIN—” Caleb managed before the bear landed directly on Caleb.

There was a solid, earth-shaking WHUMP as several hundred pounds of fur, muscle, and panic crashed directly into him, knocking the breath completely out of his lungs.

Caleb hit the ground flat on his back, all air leaving him in one violent exhale.

The world went white for a second and above him the bear froze, for one long, horrified heartbeat and then you screamed

A full, high-pitched, panicked scream that echoed through the trees like you had just realized what you had done.

Caleb stared up at you, dazed, blinking.“…ich—”

You scrambled off him instantly, shifting mid-motion, fur receding, form shrinking, limbs reshaping until suddenly their was a human on him.

You were a human, standing in front wide eyed. Disheveled and completely mortified.

“Oh my gods—!” you gasped, hands hovering like you didn’t know where to put them. “I’m so sorry…I didn’t....I thought you were—!”

You made a helpless, flustered gesture at… everything, pannicking as Caleb tried to sit up.

Failed as the air still hadn’t returned to his lungs.

Jester clapped her hands in delight. “SHE WAS A SPIDER!”

Beau stared. “She was as bear and nearly crushed him.”

Nott wheezed. “She turned into a bear on him.”

Fjord pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course she did.”

Yasha just watched you, calm but attentive, clearly assessing whether you were a threat.

You looked down at Caleb.

Still on the ground.

Still trying to breathe.

Your face went even more horrified.

“I’m so sorry…! I didn’t mean to…I just.I got scared and then I panicked and then—!”

You took a step back.

Then another.Then…“—I’m sorry!”

And you ran.Just… turned and bolted straight into the forest.

Gone in seconds.

Silence fell.

Leaves rustled faintly where you had disappeared. The Nein stood there still processing what just happened as the leaves slowly fell.

Beau crossed her arms. “Well.”

Nott burst into laughter. “That was incredible.”

Jester bounced on her heels. “I LOVE HER.”

Fjord exhaled slowly. “We got attacked by a spider that turned into a bear that turned into a woman who apologized and ran away.”

Yasha nodded once. “She seemed nice.”

On the ground, Caleb finally managed to suck in a full breath, everything hurt.He pushed himself up slightly, one hand braced against the earth, still staring in the direction you had fled, expression somewhere between stunned and deeply confused.

“…what,” he said hoarsely, “just happened....."

No one answered him of course, because none of them knew how to even answer.

But somewhere deep in the forest you were still running and whether Caleb realized it yet or not that would not be the last time you quite literally knocked him off his feet.

The second time the Mighty Nein encountered you, they were ready.

Or at least, Fjord said they were ready.

They moved more carefully through the forest now, eyes constantly scanning the trees, the underbrush, anything that might suddenly turn into a spider, or a bear, or a woman who apologized and fled like a startled deer.

“Alright,” Fjord said quietly, voice low as they walked. “If we see her again, nobody startles her.”

Beau snorted. “Nobody startles her? She dropped a bear on him for stepping on a twig.”

“That was not intentional,” Caleb muttered, still faintly bruised in both body and dignity. "She also did not drop a bear on me…she was the bear." He muttered as if that made the situation better.

Nott grinned. “I dunno, you looked pretty intentional when you hit the ground.”

Jester clasped her hands. “I hope we see her again! She was so cute!”

“She punched the wizard with a bear,” Beau said.

“She was the bear and she said sorry!” Jester countered.

Yasha said nothing, but her gaze drifted ahead, sharp and observant. “She is here,” she said quietly.

Everyone froze.

You stood in a small clearing ahead, back turned to them, crouched near a cluster of plants. You seemed… calm this time. Focused. Gently brushing dirt from the roots of something you’d gathered humming softly as your body swayed.

No spider.

No bear.

Just you.

Jester gasped immediately, grabbing Beau’s arm about to approach. “It’s her!! it’s spider-bear girl!”

“Don’t,” Fjord hissed, grabbing her sleeve.

Nott snorted. “The one who flattened Caleb.”

“Let me handle this,” Caleb said softly.

Every head turned to look at him.Beau raised a brow. “You?”

Caleb straightened slightly, brushing off his coat as if that alone might restore some dignity from the last encounter.

“I startled her before,” he said, quieter now, more thoughtful. “If I approach calmly… slowly… she will not feel threatened.”

Nott leaned toward Beau. “This is going to go so badly.”

“Yeah,” Beau murmured. “I’m not stopping him.”

Yasha gave him a small, supportive nod as Jester leaned in, whispering loudly, “Don’t get sat on again!”

Caleb ignored them as he took a breath as he began to walk forward.

Slowly. Quietly.

Carefully placing each step, avoiding twigs, keeping his movements controlled, deliberate. His eyes stayed on you, studying your posture, your stillness.

You hadn’t noticed him.

Good....That was good.

He got closer.And closer and he was just a few steps behind you now now.

He hesitated and very gently as he reached out placing a hand on your shoulder. Then that's when everything went wrong.

You exploded into motion.A sharp inhale, a startled gasped as you spun around so fast it blurred, your fist coming up on pure instinct.

CRACK.

Your knuckles connected solidly with Caleb’s face, his head snapped back.There was a stunned pause as Caleb dropped.

Again.Flat on his back.

Their was Silence.Utter, absolute silence as you froze.Eyes wide.Hand still half-raised.

“Oh my—” You looked down at him, then up and saw the rest of the Nein staring at you from the edge of the clearing.

Beau’s mouth was already open.“…no way.”

Nott looked like she was about to ascend from pure joy, as she wheezed, clutching her stomach. “TWICE. You got him TWICE.”

Jester had both hands over her face, vibrating.“Oh my god!!!! YOU PUNCHED HIM—!”

Fjord dragged a hand down his face so slowly it looked painful. “We had a plan.”

Yasha blinked slowly.

You looked back at Caleb who was still unconscious.

Again.

“Oh my gods….I did it again—!”

You took a step back, horrified, hands flying up to your face.

“I’m so sorry….I didn’t…I didn’t mean to…he just….he touched me and I—!”

You made a helpless, frantic gesture, like you were trying to explain the entire situation at once and failing miserably.

Jester immediately stepped forward, delighted. “Hi! You’re back! That was amazing—!”

“Jester, no,” Fjord said, not even opening his eyes.

You squeaked, full panic mode activated. “I didn’t mean to hit him...I swear. I just got scared and—!” You backed up another step.

Beau pointed at you. “Don’t you dare—”

You then took another step back, followed by another as you held your hand to your chest. “I’m sorry!” And then your ran away, again! Gone into the trees before anyone could even try to stop you.

Another long silence fell over the clearing as Nott nodded enthusiastically. “She’s my favorite person.”

Beau dragged a hand down her face, grinning despite herself. “That’s gotta be some kind of record.”

Jester bounced in place. “I love her so much.”

Fjord finally opened his eyes, looking down at Caleb’s unconscious form with a deeply tired expression. “We need to stop letting him approach her.”

Yasha stepped forward, kneeling beside Caleb again, checking him with practiced calm. “He’ll wake up.”

Caduceus, who had been quietly observing, tilted his head slightly. “She is very apologetic for someone who keeps knocking him unconscious.”

“Yeah,” Beau said. “It’s kind of her thing now.”

On the ground, Caleb groaned faintly, stirring, his hand lifted weakly toward his face. “…this,” he mumbled hoarsely, “is becoming a pattern…why does she not like me."

Jester crouched beside him immediately, grinning. “Noooo, she just gets nervous and commits violence.”

Nott snickered. “You’re her favorite.”

Yasha helped him sit up, steady and patient, while he winced, pressing his fingers carefully to his jaw.

“…I think,” Caleb said slowly, voice strained, “we must try a different approach.”

Behind him, Jester bounced on her heels. “Next time we should wave! Or bring snacks! Or both!”

Nott perked up. “Ooh….yes, snacks!”

Fjord sighed. “We are not luring her like a stray animal.”

Beau shrugged. “I mean… it might work

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????