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"I didn't feel like a woman/girl"

You can't feel like a sex because they're not emotions or sensations. It's just a state of being. You're just uncomfortable and unhappy with gender roles forced unto you.

I can assure you most people, especially women, aren't happy with these roles either.

Not feeling "feminine" or not subscribing to sexist gender roles doesn't make you not a woman.

But just to exhaustively refute all their bad faith points:

Yes, developing sexual thoughts at puberty is normal. But porn doesn't have the monopoly on that.

'See a boob' is disingenuous as fuck - human bodies, in and of themselves, are not pornographic.

Kids should absolutely learn about sex in age appropriate ways, and most mainstream porn is a TERRIBLE way of doing this.

If any of these liberals had bothered to read, they would know that there exists many many communities indigenous to Africa whose languages don't have gendered pronouns, where clothing rules are different. Where men and women dressed the same, where the rules of nudity are different. Where men are effeminate. And in most, if not all of these communities, misogyny will still be rampant.

But I've also met many many straight and bisexual women that rarely think or talk about men, that are still called "dick worshippers" or "men obsessed" for simply being a straight or bisexual woman.

why do lesbians have to provide 500 disclaimers about how supportive we are of other women, how much we love other women, how we aren't talking about all straight/bi women, how much women of other sexualities suffer, how we arent like those nasty misogynistic dykes—which, by the way, disclaimers that are never reciprocated or required of other women—to be granted the right to discuss our oppression?

why must we always make space for non-lesbian women in conversations about lesbophobia? why must we prove our solidarity with non-lesbian women by downplaying the oppression we face to center their experiences in our conversations? and why are non-lesbians across the board never held to the same standard?

it's lesbophobia, plain and simple. the dual oppression of homophobia (homos are mean and exclusionary and hate everyone who isn't them), and misogyny (women must be all-inclusive, people-pleasing, and submissive) exclusively faced by lesbians. which is why having these discussions is necessary in the first place.

and derailing these discussions with other conversations, no matter how important those conversations are, directly contributes to lesbophobia by policing conversations about our oppression. the ultimate goal is to silence us, by making it so difficult for us to speak on lesbian issues that we give up on it altogether. and no, your intent doesn't matter when the result still harms us.

time and time again, we see that any acknowledgement of our oppression incites a knee-jerk defensiveness in non-lesbians, which is an argument we were never meant to win. nobody listens when we speak, or understands what we're saying, or empathizes with our struggles. we are expected to let everyone else determine the validity of our claims, and to listen when those people tell us we're wrong—and why they are more oppressed than we could ever be—and how we are the true oppressors over them.

this attitude being so normalized in the most pro-female feminist movement of the modern era shows how widespread lesbophobia is, and proves why lesbians deserve our own branch of feminism to discuss lesbian issues.

When people refer to a relationship as being 50/50 what they really mean is a relationship where financial costs are split down the middle, not taking into account the burden of having a boyfriend, or all the cooking and cleaning, sex, maintaining your appearance, and free therapy that women are expected to put into a relationship.