permanently pissed off

how is it that feminists are always at fault. there are plenty of detransitioner feminists on here who talk about their experiences with trans identification as well as gender dysphoria, and there are plenty of feminists in general who do not condone the vitriol and the hatred towards trans-identifying women, and yet you come here to me with your generalizations about the community with the intention of... what? telling me to shut up because my criticism of the movement may make some women feel bad? is that how we do feminism? by pretending like any way of coping with oppression, regardless of how bad for the individual and the community, is automatically feminist? what is the point of your message, anon? if it is to say that women should be kinder to women, then yes, i agree. obviously. slurs thrown around at women is not something i tolerate or promote. but if it is to tell me and other feminists to just shut it, then you might want to do some soul-searching on why you are sending this kind of ask to me rather than somebody actively harassing trans-identifying women.

to make some generic point about trans-identifying females, but i haven't and i won't, because it's unreasonable to act as though all trans-identifying females are like this. some are, yes, and that's something to analyze and criticize, but definitely not all and likely not a majority. yet when it comes to feminists, you don't even have to bring up an example. you can just say "feminists are all big meanies" and that's good enough proof already. how convenient.

not sure how shutting down commentary on the struggles lesbians specifically face with "but some lesbians are misogynistic" is productive. i don't endorse calling any women any misogynistic names. i'd hope that this is obvious enough from my blog not to warrant separate commentary every single time i talk about lesbian-specific experiences with discrimination.

the plight of the lesbian must never be acknowledged, lest the plight of everyone else be forgotten.

i think it's about the culture. as you say, calling oneself lesbian seems to give some people a pass to call themselves and others words which they wouldn't be able to use otherwise, and that pass gives them a great feeling of acceptance within the community. for a lot of them, there's also the matter of wanting to appear more feminist than they actually are: that's why "lesbianism leaving me when i see a sexy man" is pretty much a spiritual twin to "feminism leaving me when i see a sexy man", with both feminism and lesbianism here presented as the "good" choices you are supposed to make if you've decentered men, contrasted with the more common, socially acceptable choice of pursuing and debasing yourself before him. the whole joke/contrast hinges on the jokester perceiving being a lesbian as a choice and being a feminist as a frivolity, meaning that they haven't actually decentered anything; they just went from "men good and everything to me" to "men bad (and also everything to me)". in short, it's about appearing self-aware in hopes of attracting positive attention. genuinely reflecting on who you are and what you want to do with your life is difficult, and it's much more preferable to temporarily "quit" men, call yourself a lesbian to signal your unavailability, and then water down the definition of the word by soft launching your inevitable return to men through those jokes. lastly, since so much of the modern "queer" culture is about terms having no meaning (with trans ideology being the pinnacle of this), identifying a bi lesbian/boy lesbian/whatever other variation of "i'm still into men, actually" is perceived as a fun, harmless, quirky thing, not a lived truth you might suffer for (which is what theisexual orientation still is to many non-hetero people across the world). it's about inventing a new flag to print on your shopper, no more and no less. that's why those people get so mad when you point out how shallow and cruel their actions are: they are used to living in a fictional land where homophobia isn't real, so any reminder that it is real and they are contributing to it is viewed as just you personally being a big bad meanie. it's like fighting over a blorbo to them. they can't conceptualize the actual weight their words and actions carry, and since they perceive themselves as part of the larger queer community, they feel that they should be given a pass. which, in a way, takes us back to my first point. it's the culture.

every couple of months this or that man will go viral enough that self-proclaimed lesbians start grovelling and salivating at the idea of him. every couple of months. reneé rapp's recent comment in which she's going yummm over a very real flesh and blood man isn't the exception; it's part of the natural flow of lesbophobia. you simply aren't allowed not to want men. ever.

we aren't mean enough to these people.

not sure how shutting down commentary on the struggles lesbians specifically face with "but some lesbians are misogynistic" is productive. i don't endorse calling any women any misogynistic names. i'd hope that this is obvious enough from my blog not to warrant separate commentary every single time i talk about lesbian-specific experiences with discrimination.