stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household
Mike Driver

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@lexolas221
stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household

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one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines
I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014
CRITICAL ROLE Levelling Up the Seekers
I’m suddenly laughing at the idea of a cliche noir detective story written in the brutally concise style of Hemingway.
A woman walked into my office. She had legs. I noticed her legs. “I have a problem. I need your help,” she said. They always said that. I knew her legs weren’t the problem. I hoped she might want my help with them anyhow.
“Can you pay?” I asked. Of course she could. Her shoes were worth more than my rent. She could pay. “I can pay,” she said. Her eyes were wet. I wondered if anything else was wet. Probably not. I am not handsome. Not since the war. She was looking at my scar. Lots of people do. Most look away. Not her. She did not look away. She looked at my scar and I looked at her legs. There were two of them. I liked that about her. I liked that a whole lot. “Will there be danger?” I asked. There always is. This city bleeds danger, then drinks it right back up again.
“I’m afraid there might be danger,” she said. She had the voice of a beautiful woman. She also had the face and body of a beautiful woman. She was beautiful.
The light from the window was striped. It made stripes on my cigarette smoke. The end of my cigarette crumbled into ash. My marriage had also crumbled into ash.
“I can handle danger,” I said. I patted the butt of my gun. My gun was a Colt. My gun and my scar were all that was left from my time as a soldier. My gun, my scar, and the nightmares. I looked her up and down. “I am good at handling things.”
“It’s about my husband. He’s gone missing.”
She was not wearing a ring. It means something when a woman does not wear a wedding ring. Usually, it means that she is not married. “Seems your ring has also gone missing,” I said. I hoped her dress would join it.
Her red mouth curved upwards. She was smiling a little. “I don’t wear it outside. A diamond that large would only invite trouble.”
“In my experience, trouble doesn’t wait for an invitation.” I looked at her legs again. They were both still there. “When did you last see your husband?”
Have been playing cyberpunk 2077 and I love that my girl just has a bunch of porn in her apartment and plus shaving cream and lotion “for men” in her bathroom. Classic example of the “designing the game for a male audience so when you play as a girl she becomes becomes a nuanced and esoteric dyke” phenomenon
My favourite example of this is from Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, in which there is a sex scene between your character and a vampire of the opposite sex, unless you select the homosexual trait and then the vampire is of the same sex. The room the scene takes place in includes several external condoms, which is interesting because when I first saw it both characters were women. Additionally there is a chance to find vials of estrogen in the game, and in my case 1 spawned in the medicine cabinet of the player's haven. Taken all together it paints are very clear picture of my character being a trans woman.

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Real life Road Runner
Looney Tunes is real and happening outside.
good lord its feet really do spin around in a circle when going fast
Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?
A
B
So many comments, many of them wise and all of them heartfelt, and yet nobody has thought to add ...
the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. Not only are there dishes every day, not only are there food preparation surfaces of various kinds every day, not only are there crumbs and odds and ends that fall on the floor every day ... but the fridge-freezer is in the kitchen. The oven is in the kitchen, the food cupboards are in the kitchen, and above all THE KITCHEN BIN IS IN THE KITCHEN.
I mean, it's not like the bathroom is all sweetness and light, but seriously! Who in their right mind is choosing the bathroom?!?!?!?
Ils sont fous, ces Romains tumblrains.
Having a magically-self-cleaning bathroom would be cool, but it wouldn't dramatically change my lifestyle.
If I could cook or bake whatever the hell I wanted, knowing that all my pots and mixing bowls and baking sheets would just zap themselves clean when I finished? If I knew that I could spill batter or grease inside the oven or burn things onto baking racks and it would just go away? I would be making delicious shit constantly.
from @baddywronglegs
#You can piss in the kitchen sink but you can't make lasagna in the shower
@theshitpostcalligrapher this one deserves to be writ large
yeag.....
A collection of Scanlan's albums
Not to be that person, but if you remember this, how's that newfound back pain going for ya babe
PHRASE ADDED!
LET'S DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
LET'S DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL
DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING DING-DING-DING DING-DING DING DING-DING DING
what did we do to deserve portal 2. that shit was so good and for what
we got to have this! we got to have a valve game set in the half life universe, and its an enemies-to-lovers-to-enemies-again sci fi comedy story about a homicidal ai created to run tests forever and the test subject she catches feelings for!! how is this game real!!!
happy birthday to the only video game ever
people still clown in the notes of this post so reminder that glados was gonna take you on a date and accuse you of cheating. shes not chells mom

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i love that chitin armor is a thing in the dynasty, but pretty quickly realized Essek is way too fancy to be just a bug.
so he’s a moth now.
i love that chitin armor is a thing in the dynasty, but pretty quickly realized Essek is way too fancy to be just a bug.
so he’s a moth now.
“you support gay rights so you must be gay”
i support animal rights do i look like a fucking alpaca to you
turns out i am gay
holy shit how’d this alpaca learn how to type
Diversity win! The alpaca is gay!
he was a llama
A llama? He’s supposed to be DEAD!
The lack of dialogue. The abrupt stop of the train. The wildly different video qualities of the train and the guy. The fact the video stops three seconds before it actually ends. I’m so fucking obsessed with this video.
and from Cooldown, Sam's T-shirt! Whitney Moore from when she did Birdemic!

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and out of the darkness - you you you you you