it turns out its NOT EVEN THE RIGHT ART

whoever made this took a panel from a completely unrelated comic (i *wish* i could find which one but i cant remember), put a new caption over it with slightly different wording and a different element, and put that image in there

all i ask is why? for what purpose?? the new image isnt even that funny. it would have worked with the original comic and art, WHY did this person go through all this effort to make the comic LESS FUNNY?

anyways heres the original comic. somehow got the quote from the wolf wrong while getting the specific element right

(source)

FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT, because I’ve spent most of this evening creating a 5e character sheet for Jessie, who is indeed a warlock!

I’ve decided that Jessie’s Girl (his patron) is the archfey Queen of Air and Darkness, because:

has no name

chilling eldritch beauty

invisible, but if perceived with magic, has “blood-black eyes”

idk, she just seems cool

after I’m done with Jessie, I’m also going to roll a character sheet for his sad best friend: Rick Springfield. He’s just a simple bard who doesn’t understand how warlocks work, and who can’t figure out his own gay feelings. <3

THE QUEEN OF AIR AND DARKNESS, RULER OF THE WINTER COURT, THE ARCHFEY HERSELF DOES HAVE A NAME.

BUT WITHIN THE D&D MYTHOS, HER TRUE NAME WAS LOST AND NEVER SPOKEN AMONG THE FEY, SO SHE REMAINS NAMELESS

*digs through desk, finds another blank character sheet*

*opens lyrics in a new tab*

Okay. Here’s what we know about Stacy’s Mom:

Has a job (goes on business trips)

Her residence has a lawn and a pool

Sometimes walks around in just a towel

and, most importantly:

She’s got it goin’ on

I…so…here’s my thought process

if Jessie’s Girl is The Queen of Air and Darkness, does that mean Stacy’s Mom is…Titania? The Queen of Light?

She’s a queen and a strategist, so she’s definitely got a job that could require her to go on business trips. And as ruler of the Seelie Court, her residence has more lawn and pool than anybody could ever ask for.

(and hey, based on her many artistic depictions, she wears as much or as little as she feels like, so the towel thing checks out too.)

You get a Milkfish