it wont let me edit on mobile. 21 now. hi

22 hi. i’ll make a new one next year

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

sometimes i see an opinion i disagree with, and from a combination of wanting to keep up appearances, avoid flak, and cut to the heart of the issue, i draft a series of increasingly abstract responses, eventually culminating in typing out "falsehoods aren't true", which, in a perfect act of self-negating autofellatio, deletes itself

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

I really love it when a character's past self and their present self are considered entirely different characters

I had a friend go incoherent and then nonverbal for about 20 minutes after reading this when it came out, because she worked the information kiosk at Borders and had never seen her daily work experience so efficiently distilled down

before we move forward with these blueprints i just wanna make absolutely sure the vents and air ducts are perfectly adult xenomorph size

My understanders will Understand me

must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason

one must imagine sisyphus livin la vida loca

nobody with a tumblr in 2026 is a good person

friendship addicts will be like “i just need one more hit of your infectious laughter and zest for life”