2 Hearts On The Floor 1 Mine, Both Yours

just received the best text message I’ve ever had. from my mom

You are either going to the bathroom with me or going to the bathroom against me

good night everyone some days are good some days are bad but everyday is a day in which we exist in the same world as heated rivalry. everyday we are lucky enough to have shane hollander

good morning glad to see this resonated with everyone. remember we have ilya rozanov too

you watch heated rivalry and you're like well i wish i could see the stakes more but sure it's men's sports and then you read anything at all about elite north american men's hockey in real life and it's like we have invented rituals of social pressure heretofore unseen to destroy young men's bodies and crush their personalities to dust. the worship of violence and conformity at all costs has wrought of this game a hell for generations. tickets available for tuesday

Pitbullthatwillbeadoptedsoonsmile_ilya_Face.jpg

tbh I’ve always found it very funny that Elrond is like “there’s no point bringing Glorfindel on the quest, even though he’s a balrog-slayer. You won’t need balrog-slayers” and then thirty pages later they run into a balrog

#anyways it’s common knowledge in the shire that dwarves are actually just a kind of mushroom#but no one says anything#because they think (seeing as how the dwarves haven’t brought it up themselves) it would be rude (via @willowcrowned)

Cliff Marly hearing about the plane turbulence in the long game tweeting “Getting my Commercial Pilot License. #ItEndsWithMe”

Shane is like ilya honey. Does Cliff know the plane didn’t crash. He’s tweeting American Airlines with the hashtag Do Better

i dont mean to victim blame but why do these vampires keep talking to daniel molloy when they know he's daniel molloy

the club moss I got for my terrarium is dying, despite being lovingly packed into organic soil with oven-fried leaf litter and bioactive springtails and isopods, and meanwhile in my fridge my fuck ass onions are sending out bright green shoots as happy as could be in their cold dark box of fucking nothing

As dandelions to sidewalks, so onions to refrigerators.

they should invent putting on sunscreen that doesn't feel like putting on sunscreen

I just want to remind you that sometimes your life really doesn't begin until you are 26+... Romanticizing and obsessing over our youth is harmful. Growing up is beautiful. Discovering who you are and how you interact with the world is a gift. Maturing and learning what you truly want out of life and living in that purpose brings fulfillment and peace. Your life is not over in your early 20's because you haven't figured it out yet, it's just beginning.

w-wait, what? you finally got me pinned and you’re sparing me?? why!! are we not true rivals? do you not think id look pretty enough gasping around your blade as you twist it into my flesh??

women is like a country i would die for