permets-tu, darling?

fucking thank u @fleabagsversion. editing another reply to someone else to add on:

not only does shane NOT nag him, he in fact finds it hot!! he has a competency kink famously!!!!

ilya WOULDN'T do any of that he would not fucking do that my boy ohhhh my boy…i know so many ppl write him getting a penalty himself & shane being upset abt it, or just drawing penalties & shane's like stop fighting uwu..like. SHANE IS ALSO A HOCKEY PLAYER 😭 he fights too!! perhaps drawing penalties is less his fallback tactic but! he is just as aggressive. it is a central/crucial part of the sport!

it genuinely does not make fucking sense. we barely ever see him do that afaik u are so right & it doesn't feel in character for him either. he is not hot headed in the slightest. he chirps ppl he respects/likes, so that never draws a penalty (like scott hunter). if he's ever fought first & earned the penalty himself it's usually bc it's genuinely upsetting his own team's dynamic, like dallas kent w troy, so it's still for the greater good. & other times it's extremely precise and strategic to give his team the power play. like i actually do not believe this is a recurring problem for him at all. i don't think shane ever has to tell him to be more careful/strategic/precise in any way about any of this, it's quite literally ilya's brand

I don’t think his coming out was something glamorous like they supported him. It is just another thing to put up with him. And also I firmly believe that if Shane didn’t win the third cup, everyone would blame him. Only reason we don’t see his team having problems with him being gay is he is hockey god.

So coming back to my point, so he has a team that tolerates him at best. A best friend who knows about his relationship but keeps trying to convince him to find someone. So people knowing doesn’t help. It adds to the pressure it already crushing him.

alright my thoughts on this yes ok

shane gaining weight post retirement quite literally represents him finally taking back ownership of his body

like yes the performance diet and the regimented work outs became such defining parts of him over the course of so many years, but all of that was in service to hockey. I think within those confines, it felt to him like those were the ways he could control what happened to his body within the limitations of his existence as a professional hockey player.

but post retirement, I think the healing starts to show in how shane learns to stop living in service to hockey. there’s an arc of personal development that happens there, where he has to rediscover who he is outside of the sport, and it turns out that means s’mores and hot dogs and beers and skipping arm day while on vacation and and eating an extra slice of pizza just because he can and while at first I think he feels guilty about some of those choices, his husband is there with him now, assuring him it’s fine, you’ll be fine, have more if you want it and shane realizes ilya’s is the only voice that matters anymore. he’s beholden only to his husband now, not some team owners or league higher-ups who only ever cared about how much money his body was worth to them. and his husband says it’s fine, so it is.

and when the weight starts to show in his tummy and his arms and around the edges of his face, it’s like he’s come into himself at last. he still looks like shane, but he finds he also feels more like shane now, which is weird, because he thought without hockey he’d lose some part of himself he’d never get back, but no. he gains back a part of himself he’d thought was gone forever. his cheeks are chubby like they were when he was a baby, when he would cry and scream and break things out of fear or rage or joy. his stomach is soft like it was when he was a toddler, when he was learning to skate and then darting off as fast as he could, ignoring the sounds of his mother’s voice calling out to him, telling him to slow down and be careful.

the extra weight is a sign of freedom, of peace, of fun. shane does what he wants now, and fuck you if you try to stop him.

and yeah, obviously ilya is obsessed. he’s grabbing shane’s love handles and biting the extra meat on his thighs and slapping shane’s juicy fucking ass every chance he gets. YAY!!

the way it plays into his father treating him like a disappointment because i ABSOLUTELY buy that his father would hold it against him and count it as a mark against him, especially where disability intersects with masculinity as a detraction. i also see it being held against irina, and the complex guilt of his mother being held responsible for his weakness.

this is even worse if alexei DOESN'T have any food allergies, because his brother both joins in and is an example that his father can use that it's a defect of ilya.

related: ilya being drilled from the time he's a kid to tell NO ONE about it because he's been brought up under the idea that he should be ashamed of it as a failure because rozanov men aren't susceptible to fucking tree nuts of all fucking things. ilya at family dinners/public events who becomes an expert at moving things around on his plate because he's not allowed to admit to any allergies, so nothing there is safe for him even among family. ilya who technically has a seat at the table but nothing on his plate that won't hurt him.

ilya in a new country having to translate every fucking label when it uses words he had no reason to learn in his english classes and different countries use different words for different things, so some things don't even have a translation that he can find.

ilya who is on med leave for a game because of accidental exposure and who hears people being happy about it because his reputation makes people rejoice at him potentially being sick or injured and not on the ice with them. ilya in a hospital, still feeling like shit because anaphylaxis is a bitch, seeing tweets of people not knowing what exactly happened but still being happy about it.

ilya leaning into partying/drinking/clubs because alcohol (at least as shots or single mixers) is a reliably safe option for socializing. he can't do dinners or meals with other people without admitting to what he's been trained to think of as a failure, but he can go to a club and down some vodka and be the life of the party because his weakness can't follow him here.

the reassurance of shane being so driven by routine and predictability. he's not bringing home surprises or new brands, and even if he did, he already checked the label after he's aware of ilya's allergies. he can go to shane's home at any time and know that the same things are in there and that those things are safe for him.

the summer at the cottage being the first time ilya has got to spend a summer being relaxed. he doesn't have to fake eat at family events. he doesn't have to hear his father's scorn when he checks labels as subtly as he can but still gets seen doing it. he gets there and finds out that shane already went grocery shopping and that everything in the cottage is available to him because it's all safe.

the pasta with shane's parents looking so simple and basic because david said he'd make lunch, and shane spoke up before ilya could tell him not to to say he needed to check the labels first to make sure they were good with the new diet he's trying. shane who covers for him, not because he views it as a failure but because he knows that ilya does. shane who got to tell the truth to his parents for the first time but still lies for ilya's sake. and even after he fesses up because he doesn't want shane keeping secrets from his parents just for him, david and yuna don't scorn him for it. it's a group hunt through labels and google, and in the end, it's pasta with some sauce made out of a tin of tomatoes they luckily had on hand and parmesan grated off of a fresh block that came still in the wrapper.

@brainrockets

the concept of him embracing a habit with longterm consequences because he needs something to make him feel okay in the present, and how this thing he adopts to cope just masks the central problem

and also ultimately causes him harm (nicotine addiction/smoke damage/etc.), but how the FUCK else is he supposed to make it long enough to even HAVE consequences

I get the captaincy thing but like…idk I just can’t imagine it actually being that big of a deal. Like everyone in Ottawa is going to treat him like he walks on water regardless. I think Hollanov would pretty naturally slide into a co captains dynamic with the press and such

I was wondering if you could recommend some fics that have Ilya bragging about his Jane to his team mates (Boston or Ottawa).

Thank you!

I tried to find fics close to what you asked but focused more on "Montreal Jane" being the topic and marks left on Ilya's body. I also sprinkled in a few where it's Shane showing off marks Ilya left on him (:

Montreal Jane

🏒 Ilya Rozanov's 2017 Dating Wrapped | 1.1k

Ilya drops a bunch of hints about his love life to his teammates. They do not pick up on them

🏒 Locker Room Talk | 1.7k

Shane is tired of having to sit and be quiet while his teammates brag about their sexcapades, so he decides to not be quiet anymore and tell them all about how great Boston Lily is in bed.

🏒 stop yelling at me, I saved the day | 2.1k

Cliff wouldn’t call himself the most observant person in the world, but it doesn’t take a genius to know something is wrong with Roz. He’s swinging from quiet and completely checked out to snapping at every little thing and back again. It started after the last Montreal game, Cliff is pretty sure. Jane From Montreal. This has something to do with her

🏒 You left your bite marks on my ribs | 2.6k

When the notoriously prudish Shane Hollander shows up to practice with some suspicious bruises, his teammates have something to say about it.

🏒 Save Us Jane, You’re Our Only Hope | 2.7k

Whatever his Captain did, Marleau takes it up on himself to tell Montreal Jane just how sorry Ilya is, and beg for forgiveness on his behalf. [Post tuna melt]

🏒 hall of fame jane | 2.7k

for years cliff marlow deals with jane. one unfortunate bluetooth connection reveals more

🏒 It had to be Jane | 2.8k

Roz was looking at his phone again. And he was blushing, even though he always loved to insist that Russians did not blush. It had to be Jane

🏒 The Mysterious Mrs Jane Rozanov | 3.1k

When Ilya signs with the Ottawa Centaurs, everyone wants to know why he moved. Turns out, he married a Canadian. Her name is Jane.  Or so the team believes - because Ilya never bothers to correct them.

🏒 a golden star, you think you're clever | 4.0k

Boston's got the Montreal Jane pattern basically locked down. The bite mark on Ilya's shoulder is new, though

🏒 Wow, This Montreal Girl Works You Up, Brother | 4.1k

5 times Cliff Marlow brought up Montreal Jane + the 1 time he finds out who that is

🏒 Do They Make a Greeting Card for This? | 4.3k

Five times Cliff learns something about Montreal Jane, and one time he learns her real name

🏒 match my freak | 4.8k

five times their teams find out they're freaks + one time they find out that they're freaks together

🏒 The Montreal Mystery: Cliff Marlow's Side of the Story | 5.7k

All the times Cliff Marlow almost clocks that his captain's secret hookup is Shane Hollander, and one time the trade to Ottawa makes it impossible to ignore.

🏒 The Montreal Girl | 5.8k

the Boston Bears’ perspective of Ilya and Shane’s “secret” relationship over the years

🏒 Lily and Jane Fall in Love | 6.6k

The five encounters with Shane that forced Ilya to lie (brag) to his teammates about his mysterious Montreal Girl, and the time they learned that the lies had never really mattered in the first place

🏒 The Jane from Montreal Mystery | 6.7k

Cliff has been suspecting that Roz moved to Ottawa for his Montreal girl for a while now. And tonight, they’re going to go out for drinks and he’s finally going to get some answers. Not even two overeager rookies are going to stop him. Except things don’t quite go as Cliff planned and Jane from Montreal is not what he expected

🏒 Maybe: Jane | 6.8k

The Boston Raiders tease Rozanov about his mystery long distance girlfriend, sending Jane stories and embarrassing pictures of Ilya. Shane and Ilya don’t think much of it - until Theo Michaud gets traded to from Boston to Montreal and updates his contact list.

🏒 the prayers we covered with dust | 7.5k

Ilya is really struggling with the fact that he wants to keep Shane forever and steal his clothes and leave dumb hickies on him and wake up to him in the morning. He's working on it

🏒 The Great Jane Debacle of 2016 | 7.7k

how the Raiders---in particular the long suffering Cliff Marleau, dealt with the Great Jane Debacle of 2016, told in a series of texts, posts, and Cliff being the best Bostonian friend Ilya could ask for

🏒 Jane from Montreal | 8.7k

How Cliff Marlow discovers Jane’s true identity.

🏒 I said nobody knows you | 8.7k

The Ottawa Centaurs have their own theories about what their captain gets up to in his free time. Wyatt Hayes organizes a bet about it. If only getting an answer out of Rozanov would be easy

🏒 it's all fun and games until cap is in his feels again | 10.4k

Cliff Marleau's seen his captain through some crazy times and some wild crash outs. This is a little foray into some of the group chats and nights out with the boys. Especially when Cap is in his feels about his Montreal Girl.

🏒 The Hickey | 12.6k

Three times Ilya can't resist marking what's his, and one time Shane decides to return the favor.

🏒 Jane is Ilya's Favourite Lay | 60.1k

 In an attempt to socialise in this new country Ilya puts 'jane' down as his WAG to connect to the team, this has unforeseen consequences for himself.

🏒 Have you heard about Jane? | WIP

The Boston Raiders are desperate to find out who Montreal Jane is.

🏒 Ilya Rozanov is not fucking subtle | WIP

5 times Ilya Rozanov talks about his freak girl Jane and 1 time everybody realize Jane Hollander is an undercover freak

If you have any suggestions, feel free to add (:

So he's prepared for what he thinks is going to happen because he's been falling into bed with Ilya Rozanov for the majority of his adult life and he thinks he knows what all of that means. Ilya has a sexual appetite that Shane prides himself on satisfying. They make the best of their limited clandestine time together to the tune of multiple rounds of sex most times they find themselves within 100 miles of each other. Boston and Montreal, yes, but also a handful of times in Vegas. Vermont, half a dozen times over half a dozen years. All Star weekends in Florida and California and fucking New Jersey. Brooklyn, once, because the stars aligned. Shane is very used to shoving two furtive fucks into the space of a handful of midnight hours.

So yes, the time that stretches before them is utterly gluttonous in comparison, and Shane knows that even two professional athletes in peak physical condition won't be able to set the kind of brutal pace they normally allow themselves for two entire weeks, but still. The sex will be hot--fucking unbelievably hot, and it will be nasty and it will be rough and it will be almost fucking constant.

And it is. They barely keep their hands off each other for the first day. Sitting down to play Chel with fucking clothes on is conceived as an attempt to be at least a little normal, as is kicking the soccer ball around. Shane is just a little turned on, constantly, and he would think there was something actually medically wrong with him if he didn't occasionally see Ilya tucking his erection more snugly into the waistband of his shorts. It feels insane. It feels like they are the only two people in the world and they're slowly burning each other up like the filament in a faulty lightbulb.

Then, it settles a little, and the first thing Shane notices about it is the sound of it.

Ilya's got him on his elbows and knees, just how he likes, and he's still open from the morning, and Ilya is tapping his dick on the small of Shane's back and saying Knock Knock and Shane is burying his face in the bedsheet and hiding his grin and telling Ilya that he's a fucking idiot.

"This is how you ask me for it?" Ilya replies. "Is this how my good boy asks to be fucked? No, I don't think so. Use your pretty words."

So Shane says, "Fuck," and then, "I want it. I want it so fucking bad. Please give it to me."

And Ilya taps his cockhead against Shane's hole and says, "This what you need, sweetheart?"

"Yes yes fuck please I need it I need it so fucking bad." Which is probably objectively false, because Shane has had it, repeatedly and good and whenever he fucking wants it, multiple times a day for the last 72 hours. Need probably flew out the window the second or third time Shane had the very routine thought of "I want to be sucking Ilya Rozanov's dick right now" and then realized that nothing was stopping him from doing so. Need has settled into a slow-burning, constant and pervasive want that is making it difficult to focus on his actual needs, like calories and REM cycles.

"Gonna give it to you," Ilya says. "Ask me again, one more time, ask nicely--"

"Please fuck me oh my God please fuck me--"

And Ilya is a hedonist. Shane knows this. He likes sugary foods and fast cars and beautiful people and filthy sex. He likes to have exactly what he wants when he wants it and he likes it to be given to him exactly how he asks. Shane has always, on a level that is crawling further and further to the surface of his being with every day spent alone with this man, been utterly smug that Ilya has never had to ask him twice for what he wants, once they're in bed together. Mostly because Ilya never asks and Shane always gives; has made a study of understanding that when Ilya quirks an eyebrow in a certain way he means Take Off Your Shirt. When Ilya taps his thigh in that certain spot it means Spread Your Legs. When Ilya puts a thumb against Shane's throat and just barely digs his nail into the tender swell of Shane's voice box it means Moan Pretty For Me Baby.

So Shane knows that Ilya takes his pleasure freely, and doesn't hold much back in the taking. This makes it all the stranger and lovelier when Ilya pops the head of his cock into Shane and releases the kind of raw, punched out sound that Shane has only heard from him on the ice. After a hard hit, when he has physically lost control of his ability to moderate his own sounds, the height of release, the height of wantonness, reeling with a punch. A stark, perfect moment of pure reaction.

"Oh, fuck," Ilya moans, in the silence created by Shane going utterly silent and almost completely still, lest he miss a single solitary detail of what's happening. "Uhn. Fuck, Shane."

"Yeah," Shane says, experimentally. "Oh, fuck. Fuck, baby, you feel so good."

"Fuck," Ilya snarls again, and it's like--it's like a fucking dam breaks, something that was built in Ilya's chest before Shane ever knew him, because it just does not stop. The sounds flowing out of him seem to do so without much or any express permission from his brain. He is gone, moaning almost inconsolably as he presses his entire body against the length of Shane's.

"Shane," he says, eventually, and doesn't stop. "Shane, Shane, fuck, SHANE--"

And Shane stops even understanding it as his own fucking name. Suddenly it's blasphemy, it's sacrament, it's a foreign fucking word that means something deliciously vulgar and it's a secret Ilya is keeping from him. It means I love you, and You are a perfect slut, and it means I will fucking ruin you.

And when he comes--God, when he comes. He tells Shane he's gonna give it to him and then he fucking does and every window in the room seems to shake with the power of his voice. Shane somehow feels every vibration of Ilya's vocal cords in his own toes. He barely understands that he's reaching his own calamitous orgasm before it's right there, sudden and stunning like a puck to the gut, and Ilya's voice is still in his ear, low and intense, stroking over his stomach and telling him, "So good, Shane. Let it go."

It's rude. You're making someone take their time to read something you couldn't bother to write. You're telling them they were so unimportant you couldn't be bothered to actually take the time to say something yourself. And frankly, you're lying about it while you're at it.

shane “hockeytism” hollander HATES when a ref makes a bad call. this is literally your job and youre fucking it up?? that was not slashing are you blind?? he gets heated about this, even when he’s just watching a random game. he’s shouting and cursing and making a well-informed case for why the ref is wrong.